(lively techno music)
- Hi. - Hi!
- Hey. - Hey!
- How you doing? - Good.
- [Woman] Oh, have you been in this place before?
- No, but it's close to my office.
The menu looks good online.
- Good evening, welcome to Une Vert Debe.
Do you have a reservation?
- No. - Hmm.
Okay, I'm not sure we have room for walk-ins,
but let me check.
(soft piano music) (electronic whooshing)
When you walk in here and you act sorta like--
- It's only 5:30. - I know.
(sudden gasps) Oh no.
Are we at a--
- Way too fancy restaurant? - Way too fancy restaurant?
(ominous music)
- Okay, hey, we can just go.
- Yeah, okay. - Aha!
I found a table that can accommodate the two of you.
If you left now, it would reflect poorly.
- Huh? - Huh?
- I said that your table's just on
your left, follow me.
(ominous music) - Okay.
You can move it, okay.
- Yeah, okay.
Maybe this place isn't that fancy.
- Here's our wine list.
Good evening ladies.
My name is Hozier.
I'll be your server.
Tonight's house specials are a sauvignon
of regiis caviar-
(muted distant talking)
Is filled with watercress pinot.
- Sorry what was that last one?
- Oh it was a fleur-- (distant muffled talking)
Over roasted-- (distant muffled talking)
(loud electronic static beeping)
- That sounds delicious, but I think we're good.
- Yeah, we're good.
- Can I get you started with anything to drink?
- Oh. - Just water?
- Water. - Sparkling or still?
- Excuse me? - Sparkling or still?
Sparkling or still? - Tap?
- Yeah. - Of course.
I'll be right back with your waters.
- Shoot, tap isn't even one of the options.
- Hey did you take a look at the menu,
there's a $100 fixed menu.
A $200 tasting menu and the apps are $30!
- Crap, I think I was looking at the lunch menu online.
- Would you ladies like anything else to drink?
- Yeah maybe... - Excellent.
- Good evening ladies.
- Oh my god!
- My name is Fjord, I'm the sommelier
here at Une Vert Debe.
- You just appeared. - Yeah.
- Like a ghost.
- I'm so sorry to alarm.
We have a series of hand signals that we use here in
the dining room to insure that all of our guests
are always attended to.
And that they have to heavily tip us.
- Huh? - So that our guests
are always attended to.
And they have a heavenly visit.
- Oh. - Oh, okay.
- Now for a wine, what sort of flavor
profile are you looking for?
- Dry? - Okay.
Do you prefer an earthier or maybe a fruitier profile?
(peaceful classic music)
- Earthy. - Wonderful.
Well then I would highly recommended
one of the Chateau Beaucastels,
for the barn yard aromas.
- Okay and the Chateau Beau--
- Beaucastels. - From 2012?
- Oh $2,012 is actually the price
of that wine madame.
- Oh my God.
And I see that you don't have glasses,
it's only by the bottle. - That's correct.
- We will just do a cocktail. - Yes!
- A cocktail. - A cocktail.
- A cocktail for you ladies?
- Okay, yeah.
Yes, yes, okay.
Just a quick question about the ingredients,
what is mandrin ado?
- That is an herbal liqueur from Italy.
- Then what is the nocino?
- That is an herbal liqueur from Italy.
- So the omergreena
is the same?
- No, that is an herbal liqueur from Portugal.
- Yeah of course it is.
I will take that.
- Excellent choice.
- I don't like that. - Wow.
- Thank you!
- I'll say, impressive.
- And I'll leave you two with the menus.
- I feel like since we've got here
we've not had a moment to ourselves.
- We haven't, this fancy restaurant is exhausting.
- Complimentary bread for the table.
- Oh okay good.
Finally something we can eat.
Don't mind if I do.
- Yum. - Yes here we go.
Stop, no, okay!
- I'm fine, you know what, I didn't eat mine.
- Okay, I am officially more stressed out
being here than I would be if we just left right now.
- Yeah, I don't want to touch anything.
Let's just go.
Let's just get the check.
- Yes, okay, the check.
- Here is your check.
- Why do you keep doing that! - Shut up, shut up.
- Every table has voice recognition that
gives us a shock to the neck every time
a key word is muttered.
Your bill comes out to $52.02.
- Huh? - Huh?
- You heard me correct this time.
That'll be $52.02.
- No, no, no. Lily, c'mon, Lily!
Let's go, come on, Lily.
- Hashtag, get your lob on.
(hearty laughing)
- It's a whole-- (hearty laughing)
(ominous music) (hearty laughing)
- Hey it's Lily!
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Did you do the math from earlier?
And if you did can you tell me how
much it was?
'Cause I'm bad with numbers.
Five times one.
(upbeat techno music)