I take out the money to pay and he says "it's ok" I don't know what to do
If I ask "Where shall we go!" and he says "Anywhere is fine" it annoys me
"What shall we do?" That takes so much time and bores us.
Hey guys and girls on Ask Japanese. Dating can be a real pain in Japan.
This time we're gonna go and ask Japanese people on the streets about what kind of
awkward moments or bad situations can happen at a date here in Japan. Also
at the end of the video I will tell you 3 things that will ruin your date if you accidentally do them
so don't do them. Let'S go and Ask Japanese.
If I ask "Where shall we go!" and he says "Anywhere is fine" it annoys me
Yeah. - Why so? - I asked HIM!
Why does he reply with "anywhere"?
Then I have to decide it all. Why doesn't he decide?
You want him to decide or decide for yourself?
I think taking turns is ok. Before I took the lead
then he can next time lead.
I don't wanna hear "Anywhere is ok" on every date.
What happened to your most recent "anywhere is ok"?
Recently I asked him where to go for dinner. He said "Anywhere."
So we went somewhere. - What did you want to hear instead of "anywhere"?
"Come on let's go here!" Girls like that. Shows he thought about it
in advance. - You want him to have a plan. - YEah
Do you like it when a boy leads. - Todaly do.
"First we'll go here to eat, then we go there and in the eve dine here."
If he's got it planned I will be super happy.
I see. Seems like that's best boys. - Please do it boys.
How about you. What was tough? - I went to Hakone
with my boy by car. He was driving and I had to
do the navigation the whole journey on the highway.
I told him left and right all the time.
For two hours. That was tough.
When paying the bill I struggle. - Why?
I never know if I should pay or not.
You never know if you should pay or not?
Well, I am fine with paying for it but when he then says it's ok
I don't know how to react. - Like how? - Going for dinner
and then when we pay I will say "I pay my half"
and then he says "It's fine" I don't know how to react.
Why so? Are you not happy? - I feel bad for him then
What do you do? Accept the invite or pay yourself?
I try my best to pay instead or
if he pays for me, I will try and pay for a juice or something later
To show gratitude. - You try and balance it out. - Yeah
Having him follow me around.
Do you want him to lead instead? - When we go shopping we
don't have to go everywhere together. Boys have things they wanna see
and I want to look too. - You want time for your shopping
but have to look at his stuff and both get bored. - I can't take my time in the bathroom
To fix your makeup?
Well ... boys are quick and I have to make him wait
You feel bad? - I do.
What do Japanese struggle with on a date?
The fact that I don't have a boyfriend - It's a lot of work though
On Valentine girls have to do things for boys
and boys look forward to it. We have to live up to expectations
and that's tough. - Preparing Valentine takes time
then practicing the sweets you wanna make for him first then
adding the time for shopping and searching for the right recipe
If you add that all up, compared to the gift that he just buys at
the next store on White day... makes me sad.
I feel that. But anyways we will have fun on the day.
But those preparations are are pain
Getting it all together, thinking of a recipe
making it and wrapping it, takes a lot of time. - It does.
If you fail it, you have to do it again. - Some people practice beforehand too
I know a lot of girls who first practice the sweet they make. Especially if they also bake for more
They make sweets for friends as well as their loved one.
It's important to make something for the boy but they also have to make more
that's tough. - Cant' let the boy down. - They expect something
A lot. That's why we wanna try our best.
I am a smoker and girls recently don't smoke
So I have to hold back, it's tough.
I have to endure a whole day not smoking. It's tough.
You want to smoke... - But if she doesn't and doesn't want me to, I gotta hold back
Will she say it to you?
I don't want to say it every time I go for a smoke. Before we start dating Will she say it to you?
I don't want to say it every time I go for a smoke. Before we start dating
I will ask her if it's ok. If she says she doesn't like it
then I won't smoke in front of her at all cost.
You check first. - Find out first
then I won't smoke. If I had a girl that allowed me to smoke, life would be easy.
It would work better. - Girls shop a long time
and think of items a lot. It takes so much time
Waiting for that is boring. - What do you do then?
I will say "How about this dress?" and try to suggest clothes
You try to speed it up by recommending items? - I do.
What do you care about on a date? - I am a smoker too
And she hates it. Whenever she's around I try not to smoke
Do you sometimes smoke in secret. - I do. I hid it first
and it came out and we had a big fight.
You learned. - I did. - What do you fight about on dates?
I try not to fight. Fighting is a pain
So I won't say the little things that bother me. That often is the reason
when I break things up. - You don't say you issues then
but they accumulate. - I keep it in, and then start disliking her
because of it. But I won't say it. So I break up with her instead
that happens. - That's the worst way! Tell her your issues! - I know
Wouldn't it better to solve it instead? - Right. - On a date, I try to
let the girl have her way. I won't pick a fight on a date.
You say you put girls first. When do boys get their turn?
If you only think of her on the date... what about you?
- Will we ever have a time like that?
I don't think there will. - True
Boys have to endure a lot. That's a Japanese thing. - It's better to think of the girl
Is there anything you dislike that girls can do?
Stressing out about things too much about things that don't need
to be stressed about. But she will be stressed out a lot,
And I will tell her to calm down, but she won't calm down.
Like her job called her, and she needs to go in and panics
"If you take your time you'll make it. Don't rush it."
But she is still stressed out? - Makes me want to go home
I often oversleep and am late
That would get her angry. - She jells at me for that a lot
Sometimes she is late too. But then
I try to treat her with kindness. Yet she's always angry at me when I'm late
You wish it was the same. - She could be a little nicer
I think so. - Director please don't be angry when I'm late. - I am not.
Haha. - 3 things that will ruin your date if you do them:
One, is be late. I know in your country it might not be the same
it might be ok to be 3-5 mins late or 10 or even more
It's not the same in Japan. People can get very unhappy if you're
tardy. Try to be there on time or ideally a little bit early
That's number one. You might ruin the whole day if you start off on a bad start
Be sure to pay attention to that. Number 2 if you're a guy you might
be expected to pay the bill. I know that might not be the same in your country
but generally Japanese girls appreciate it if you invite them. There's usually a little
bit of dance around "oh no I pay that too" don't just go there and say "Yes we're gonna pay separately"
At least have a little bit of a dance and try to maybe pay the bill, it looks good
for the girls... and finally....
Another thing that seems to be specific to Japanese girls is that they generally want
the boy to know what he wants to do, where he wants to go and at least have a general idea
what's gonna happen on the date. Many Japanese boys have said they're ok with just following the girl
and doing whatever she wants to do to make sure she's happy but actually many girls have said
they are happier if the boy has some kind of plan. First we go here, then we go there
have some idea in mind. That's something I find very Japan specific
I am surprised when I hear about that one, be sure to pay attention to that when you come to Japan
and you're trying to date someone. Good luck with your dating experience in Japan. We've done more
videos on love, relationships and dating advice here in Japan so don't miss these
they are connected to our channel and there's also a related video
at the end. Don't miss it. Hope you enjoyed this video. Give us alike to say thanks for making this video
and I catch you soon for more stuff on Ask Japanese. Bye.