>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, WELCOME BACK.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY NEXT GUEST IS A STAND-UP
COMEDIAN MAKING HER NETWORK TELEVISION DEBUT.
PLEASE WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW"" KATE WILLETT.
( APPLAUSE )
HEY, EVERYBODY!
I'M REALLY EXCITED TO BE HERE.
SO, I'VE BEEN TRYING TO STOP DATING IMMATURE GUYS.
I MOVED TO THE TOP OF A HILL SO THAT IT WOULD BE HARDER TO
SKATEBOARD UP THERE.
( LAUGHTER )
GUY FOR A LITTLE WHILE, MAYBE, LIKE, SIX YEARS.
( LAUGHTER )
ME NOT TO GET EMOTIONAL.
BUT THEN HE WOULD ALSO CONSTANTLY CONFIDE IN ME ABOUT
HOW HIS DAD LEFT WHEN HE WAS A LITTLE BOY.
AND I TRIED TO BE SUPPORTIVE, BUT AROUND YEAR FOUR OF THAT, I
JUST REALLY STARTED TO SEE WHY THE DAD TOOK OFF.
( LAUGHTER )
WOMEN IS A VERY BIG PROBLEM IN OUR CULTURE, AND A LOT OF IT IS
COMING FROM MY MOM.
( LAUGHTER )
THINK IT'S REALLY SAD THAT WOMEN YOUR AGE HOOK UP WITH THESE
LOSER GUYS WHO JUST LEAVE."
AND I'M LIKE, MOM, I THINK IT'S A LOT BETTER THAN THE DAYS WHEN
WOMEN HOOKED UP WITH LOSER GUYS WHO JUST STAYED."
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
NOW A CRAPPY GUY, YOU KNOW HE ONLY WANTS YOU FOR ONE THING.
BUT BACK IN MY MOM'S DAY, THEY ALSO WANTED YOU TO DO DISHES.
( LAUGHTER )
TOO YOUNG.
IF I GOT MARRIED WHEN I WAS 20 LIKE MY MOM DID, I WOULD BE
MARRIED TO A DUDE RIGHT NOW, BECAUSE AT SOME POINT HE JUST
HAD WEED.
( LAUGHTER )
MONEY ON THE WEDDING BECAUSE HE'S ABSOLUTELY ALREADY BE A
D.J.
( LAUGHTER )
HAVE CHANGED.
IF THIS WAS 40 YEARS AGO, I WOULD NOT BE DOING STAND-UP
RIGHT NOW.
I WOULD PROBABLY BE MARRIED TO SOME KIND OF DEAD-BEAT,
ALCOHOLIC DUDE, AND I'M NOT BECAUSE I WAS LUCKY ENOUGH TO BE
BORN IN A TIME WHERE MOST DEAD-BEAT ALCOHOLIC DUDES ARE
NOT REALLY LOOKING TO COMMIT.
( LAUGHTER )
TRIED REALLY HARD.
( LAUGHTER )
MALE-DOMINATED INDUSTRY.
I USED TO WORK IN TECH IN AN OFFICE THAT WAS JUST ME AND 20
GUYS.
THE SEXUAL HARASSMENT POLICY WAS JUST, "HEY, EVERYBODY, PLEASE
LEAVE KATE ALONE."
( LAUGHTER )
ARE NOT USED TO THE IDEA OF A FEMALE COMEDIAN, I WILL GET
TROLLED BY THESE WEIRD MEN WHO LIVE IN BASEMENTS, AND BEFORE
YOU GET MAD AT ME, I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT I'M SURE THAT THERE
ARE ALSO SOME REALLY GREAT GUYS WHO LIVE IN BASEMENTS.
( LAUGHTER )
LOOK, SOME OF THEM DO NOT HATE WOMEN.
THEY JUST HATE WINDOWS.
BUTTED DUDES WHO ARE TROLLING ME ARE VERY MISOGYNISTIC.
THEY'LL SAY THINGS LIKE, "WOMEN JUST WANT TO TAKE HALF YOUR
STUFF."
AND I'M LIKE, BRO, THERE ARE WAY EASIER WAYS TO GET HALF A BAG OF
DORITOS."
( LAUGHTER )
ARE INCELS, WHICH IS SHORT FOR INVOLUNTARY CELIBATE.
THESE ARE MEN NO ONE WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH THEM, AND THEY
COMPLAIN ABOUT IT IN INTERNET FORUMS, WHICH, TO BE HONEST WITH
YOU, I HAVE ALSO DONE.
( LAUGHTER )
A VERY HARD TIME COMING OUT AS BISEXUAL TO ANYONE EXCEPT FOR
THESE LESBIANS IN AN ONLINE CHAT ROOM.
SO I WOULD GO IN THERE AND BE LIKE, "HEY, I'M A 15-YEAR-OLD
BISEXUAL GIRL, AND I'M SUPER HORNY."
AND THEN THEY WOULD JUST BE LIKE, "GET OUT OF HERE, YOU
DISGUSTING OLD MAN."
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
SO I WENT AND READ SOME INCEL MESSAGE BOARDS AND THE THEME IS,
"NO ONE LIKES ME.
NO ONE WANTS TO HANG OUT WITH ME.
PEOPLE CANNOT EVEN STAND BEING AROUND ME, SO IT SOUNDS LIKE THE
PROBLEM IS, OBVIOUSLY, WOMEN."
( LAUGHTER )
TO MAKE IT ILLEGAL FOR WOMEN TO HAVE SEX WITH MORE THAN ONE MAN
IN OUR LIFETIME SO THAT WE WILL BE REDISTRIBUTED.
( LAUGHTER )
FRUSTRATED I HAVE EVER BEEN, I HAVE NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT TRYING
TO SOLVE IT THROUGH A LEGISLATIVE PROCESS.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
THANK YOU SO MUCH!
>> Stephen: HER PODCAST IS CALLED "REPLY GUYS" AND IS
AVAILABLE ON iTUNES.
KATE WILLETT, EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.