Translator: Leonardo Silva Reviewer: Julie Mbeyella
Hi, everyone.
At this day and age, I am professionally gay.
As he said, I'm the head of Switzerland's Lesbian Organization,
and as a journalist, I write about lots of queer stuff.
So, one could say that I'm gay as a job,
even if that's only half the truth.
So, I fight for equality for all sexual orientations and genders.
And you can be part of that fight, no matter who or what you are.
Not even a decade ago,
I was happily in love
and kind of unofficialy engaged to a young man,
a conventionally manly one, even.
We were as happy as could be,
we were together for a few years,
and our ways parted before we could get to our plan of marrying each other.
To get the story straight,
I'm not, I never was,
but for a very long, far too long time,
I throughly, sincerely thought I was.
Everyone finds women hot, right?
Everyone dreams of Olivia Wilde in The O.C. California, right?
It turns out - no.
I figured I was bisexual.
I still am, liking one gender.
But looking back,
it's no wonder that I didn't consider bisexual as an option at first,
looking at LGBT representation.
While gay men are all over the media,
lesbians, not that much.
Bisexuals? Hardly even existing.
There's this joke I came across that I just can't forget anymore.
It goes like this,
"What's the difference between a unicorn and a bisexual?
You can see unicorns on TV."
(Laughter)
It's funny because it's true.
When I found out I was bi, I had to start from scratch -
not really "Control, Alt, Delete," but find a whole new world.
When no one was looking,
I was googling things like "queer," and "LGBT,"
and "Is Angelina Jolie gay?"
Spoiler: she's bisexual,
just like Megan Fox and Marilyn Monroe and James Dean.
You're welcome.
It turns out 10% of the population are queer.
Ten percent.
The guy sitting next to you might be trans.
Your mom might have never told you about her ex-girlfriend.
And some lovely people from your Statistics class
might attend Luzern's next gay event.
Hit me up if you want to join, by the way.
(Chuckling)
So, at this point, I mentioned the terms "LGBT" and "queer" a lot.
Quick information so you don't have to google it like I did:
"Queer" is a word for people
whose gender identity or sexual orientation
derives from the gender norm.
You will hear me using the term "LGBT" quite synonymously.
It stands for "Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender."
But remember:
gender and sexual orientation are two different things.
Sexual orientation is who you go to bed with,
and gender is who you go to bed as.
(Chuckles)
Unfortunately,
lots of queer identities are misused as hateful slurs,
like, "That's so gay,"
"Ugly dyke,"
(German) "Faggot,"
(German) "Bull dyke."
So,
don't get me wrong.
being queer is amazing,
but we definitely need all the support we can get.
There are some more obvious versions of homophobia,
like Switzerland's lack of marriage equality.
And only recently, there was a Europe-wide ranking of LGBT rights:
Switzerland ranked at 22!
Twenty-two!
That's OK for a Taylor Swift's song title, but not for an LGBT rights rank.
This 22 is disappointing, really.
There are less obvious and less measurable aspects of homophobia.
It's the sudden feeling of threat you get
when you enter a club or when you will leave a club.
It's the security check you do
every time you just want to hold your love's hand in public.
It's not mentioning your relationship when chatting with your coworkers
or even your own dad.
Queer activists get the questions a lot,
"So, in what situations do you feel discriminated?"
And while discrimination can definitely be felt,
it's not just a feeling.
It's a fact,
it's a reality for many, many people.
So, now comes the part that I hate, so I'll do it real quick.
Compared to the other 90%,
queer people are up to five times more likely to commit suicide,
and they're up to 20% more likely to struggle with mental illnesses
and substance abuse.
The thing is: queer people are not the problem!
Discirmination is.
Discrimination is what makes us sick and, ultimately, kills us.
So, seven years ago,
breakup behind me and the whole queer world ahead of me,
I still felt alone.
I didn't know where I belonged.
So, I decided to attend Zurich's Pride Festival.
I went there on my own, sneaked into the festival area.
I didn't know anyone, I was super excited.
I looked around and felt super nervous
and turned back again and left the area,
because I was far too anxious to just exist there.
Luckily, a few months later,
a friend of mine brought me a queer magazine.
I found out it was done by young LGBT people in the area.
So, since I was already a journalist back then,
I decided to just attend the next editorial meeting,
telling everyone, including myself,
that I was there for solely journalistic reasons.
(Laughter)
Right.
I've got to admit I kind of expected those sick, discriminated teenagers
that I'd read about in those sad statistics.
What I found, instead, were unapologetically happy people.
They did not suffer for who they were.
They loved it!
And I loved them as well, so I stuck with them.
They became my friends, my family, my activism, my lovers,
all at once.
(Laughter)
Imagine a party where everyone is just being themselves.
No matter whether you're dressed to the nines
or just casually hanging out,
whether you look like Kristen Stewart in a suit,
or Ricky Martin in a tutu,
people will not only tolerate you, but accept you.
Because that's what we really, really want:
not half-hearted tolerance, but wholehearted acceptance.
Sure, I've been accused of wanting to abolish gender altogether,
"Control, Alt, Delete,"
but that's not what I want.
What I do want is to celebrate every possible gender and orientation there is.
Doing that by wearing unusual makeup or a daring outfit
might seem superficial to you at this point,
but consider what we queers are usually attacked for,
not fitting into the gender norm.
Expressing yourself unapologetically, under these circumstances,
is the most revolutionary thing you've ever done.
"Okay, okay," you say.
"I get it, gender is a good thing, and we can just live and let live,
but I'm as straight as an arrow.
What can I do? What does this have to do with me?"
We might all agree that, in the end,
gender and sexual orientation should not matter anymore,
but they do right now.
Since discrimination is still a thing,
gender and sexual orientation are still relevant.
So, I'll give you three tips to support us and become as straight as a rainbow.
(Laughter)
Tip number one: Make yourself an expert.
Read an article on gender from time to time.
Watch videos on queer stuff. There are great channels out there.
Discuss homophobia with your friends,
and google all the questions you've never dared to ask,
"What's an asexual?"
"Why can't I use the word 'gay' if I find something uncool?"
"And how do lesbians even have sex?"
I googled that one myself. It's totally worth it.
(Laughter)
Tip number two:
Support us with all your heart.
Attend the next Pride Parade holding up a sign,
if you're the protesting type.
Shake your ass off at a straight-friendly party,
if you're the ass-shaking type.
And if you're the earning-money type, consider supporting LGBT organizations.
Tip number three:
Try that yourself.
I'm not saying you should become queer, even though I can highly recommend it.
But if you happen to fit in, play around a little!
What if you wore a piece of clothing that "does not suit your gender"?
What if you attend prom night or your next housewarming party
with a shaved head, or a glued-on beard, or neon-colored lipstick, or all together?
Masculinity and femininity are two constructs,
and you can just take a long walk inside of them while outside of them.
Gender is an adventure that just can be explored.
So,
I get the question a lot:
how I chose to work in this field and why I became "professionally gay."
And whenever I answer, I think back to my lovely ex-fiancé.
Ex-fiancé.
My first experience with love and sexuality was a great one.
It was so great that I want other people to have that as well,
no matter who they go to bed with, or who they go to bed as.
Gender is just way too fun to be abolished.
Let's celebrate it, instead.
(Applause) (Cheers)