Hey beardlovers.
So I don't have a lot of free time lately.
I think a way that I wanna free up time is to do my entire morning routine while I do
this intro.
So I can put my deodorant on, brush my teeth, and floss at the same time as I do my neti
pot.
Like that.
And... uh... and then I spill...
Since I spilled water on myself, I can pee my pants and no one'll notice.
So today's February 2nd.
Groundhog Day.
Happy Groundhog Day, everybody.
Everybody in the US and Canada.
I realize other countries may not celebrate Groundhog Day.
I'm very sensitive to other cultures here on Wheezy Waiter.
- I'm British.
- I'm British as well.
Very sensitive.
So the history of Groundhog Day is a...
Hey, the coffee's done.
I love it when the coffee's done!
But I'm saving time today.
I don't have time to go get the coffee.
Clone, go get the coffee!
- Okay!
So anyway...
Consolidation is key to saving time.
So every February 2nd a groundhog comes out of his burrow and predicts the weather for
the next six weeks.
If it's cloudy out and he doesn't see his shadow, he stays outside and Spring is here
early.
If it's sunny, he sees his shadow, and he gets scared and he goes back into his burrow
and there's six more weeks of winter.
That's ridiculous.
A life form living its whole life probably is used to seeing its shadow and will not
be scared.
Whatever is afraid of its own shadow is incredibly stupid and so is whatever created that stupid
thing.
Also, looking at statistics, groundhogs have not been a predictor of weather at all.
Maybe we should end this stupid tradition.
What are you doing?
- I couldn't find a mug.
- Keep looking!
Some holidays are just a waste of time.
- Hey!
I got a new holiday idea for today.
- Okay.
What?
- Dinosaur Day.
- What do you do during that holiday?
- The Charleston.
I don't have time to watch this.
Put it up there.
So what could we do instead of celebrating Groundhog Day?
Well, we could celebrate World Wetlands Day.
According to Wikipedia, that is today.
How do we celebrate that?
I don't know.
List off all the wetlands in your country?
- Ash Meadows National Wildlife Refuge.
There's also a huge list of birthdays listed on the Wikipedia page for February 2nd.
We could also list all those off.
- Bolinas Lagoon - King James the first of Aragon.
Well, I guess we could do all of those at the same time.
Where's my coffee?
- Cache River National Wildlife Refuge...
Refuge...
Refuge?
- Happy birthday King John of Denmark in 1455.
Woo!
- Caddo Lake.
- Happy birthday Bona Storza.
- Cape May National Wild...
- Hey clone.
- Huh?
- Wink for me.
- What...
You're that lazy you can't even wink?
- Hey!
Wink!
Alligator pit.
Make it happen.
Floss, put my deodorant on at the same time...
Also doing my neti pot.
Okay?