♪♪♪ >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!
WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW."
LET'S CHECK IN WITH MY FRIEND AND YOURS, THE FUTURE, THE SOUND
OF AMERICA, MR. JON BATISTE.
JON, HOW ARE YOU?
>> Jon: I'M WELL.
WHO WAS YOUR WEEKEND?
>> Stephen: IT WAS FINE.
IT RAINED BUT EVERYTHING WAS GREAT.
HEY, I WANT TO ASK YOU ABOUT YOUR WEEKEND.
YOU DID THIS THING WHERE YOU'RE HELPING TO POWER UP NEW YORK'S
ART SCENE AGAIN.
I READ ABOUT THIS IN "THE WASHINGTON POST."
WHAT DID Y'ALL DO THIS WEEKEND?
>> WE PLAYED AT THE JAVITS CENTER FOR THE ESSENTIAL
WORKERS.
THE BAND AND I AND TAP DANCERS AND PLAYERS PLAYED FOR THE
WORKERS GIVING THE VACCINES.
IT'S PART OF A 100-DAY FESTIVAL GOVERNOR CUOMO CALLED US TO BE A
PART OF, AND I'M GOING TO BE POPPING UP AS WELL AS OTHER
GREAT ARTISTS AND MUSICIANS.
>> Stephen: COUNTER TENOR, THAT'S SUPER HIGH, RIGHT?
>> Jon: VERY HIGH.
>> Stephen: HOW HIGH CAN A COUNTERTENOR HIT?
GIVE ME THE NOTE THERE.
>> Jon: COUNTER TENOR IS PROBABLY SOMEWHERE -- OOOH,
OOOH.
THAT'S THE HIGHEST RANGE, THE D-A.
AAAHHH!
LET ME HEAR YOU.
>> Stephen: AAAHHH!
AAAHHH!
>> Jon: THAT'S ALSO A TAMBER YOU GOT.
>> Stephen: THAT'S MY COUNTER TAM BEER.
♪♪♪ JON BATISTE, EVERYBODY.
♪♪♪ >> Stephen: FOLKS, I SPEND A
LOT OF MY TIME HEWING THE FINEST TOPICAL NEWS
STONES FROM THE NEARBY INFORMATION QUARRY, HIRING THE
MOST CUTTING EDGE ARCHITECTS TO EMPLOY A COMPLEX SERIES OF RAMPS
AND PULLEYS TO DELICATELY DEPOSIT THEM WITH INCH-PERFECT
PRECISION TO CREATE FOR YOU THE EPIC, AWE-INSPIRING PYRAMID OF
KUFU THAT IS MY MONOLOGUE.
BUT SOMETIMES, SOMETIMES I LIKE TO GRAB A RUSTY SHOVEL, DIG A
HOLE IN A CULVERT, FILL IT WITH ROADKILL BONES, OLD BICYCLES,
AND YESTERDAYS COFFEE GRINDS, THEN TOP IT OFF WITH SOME USED
CAT LITTER, POWDERED LIME, AND QUICK DRYING CONCRETE TO SEAL
THE RAMSHACKLE BURIAL CHAMBER OF NEWS THAT IS MY SEGMENT:
"QUARANTINE-WHILE!" QUARANTINE-WHILE, "THE WORLD'S
FIRST 3-D-PRINTED RIB-EYE HAS BEEN UNVEILED."
MMM.
THAT SURE LOOKS... LIKE A COMPUTER'S IDEA OF MEAT.
I ALWAYS ASK THE WAITER "IS THE STEAK DAMP TONIGHT?
HOW DAMP IS IT?" THE PROCESS INVOLVES "GROWING
MEAT TISSUES FROM PUNCH BIOPSIES FROM LIVE OR SLAUGHTERED
ANIMALS," THEN "PRINTING LIVING CELLS THAT ARE INCUBATED ON A
PLANT-BASED MATRIX TO GROW" WHAT SOME CALL "ALT-MEAT."
NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THE UNDERGROUND BEEFCAKE MAG I POSE
FOR AS MY SIDE HUSTLE.
IT'LL BE A WHILE BEFORE YOU CAN BUY THE STEAKS, BECAUSE
ACCORDING TO REPORTS "THE U.S.D.A. AND F.D.A. DON'T YET
HAVE A REGULATORY FRAMEWORK TO BRING IT TO MARKET."
WHICH IS LEGAL-SPEAK FOR "WE DON'T KNOW --
( LAUGHTER ) -- WHICH IS LEGAL-SPEAK FOR WHAT
IS THAT?!
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS!
KILL IT!
KILL IT WITH FIRE!
AND THEN GIVE ME A SLICE."
QUARANTINE-WHILE, BLIZZCON, THE ANNUAL GAMING CONVENTION, WA
-- PEOPLE KNOW WHAT BLIZCON IS, THAT'S PATRONIZING -- WAS
HELD OVER THE WEEKEND, AND THEY BOOKED METALLICA TO PLAY.
JUST ONE PROBLEM: WHILE BLIZZARD CLEARED THE RIGHTS TO STREAM
THEIR MUSIC, THE HOSTING PLATFORM, TWITCH, DIDN'T, AND
PARTWAY THROUGH THE SONG THEY PANICKED AND SWITCHED THE MUSIC.
IT'S SUBTLE.
SEE IF YOU CAN SPOT THE MOMENT IT HAPPENS.
♪♪♪ (MUSIC ABRUPTLY CHANGES)
OOOH!
GIRL, ARE YOU DELIVERING FOOD IN NEW YORK, BECAUSE THAT WAS
SEAMLESS!
MUAH!
BUT I CAN SYMPATHIZE.
I JUST HAD METALLICA ON MY SHOW TWO WEEKS AGO, AND CBS FORGOT TO
CLEAR "ENTER SANDMAN" SO THEY HAD TO SCRAMBLE TO SUB IN THE
CLOSEST THING THEY COULD FIND: ( ENTER SANDMAN )
♪♪♪ ( BAG TYPES )
♪♪♪ OH, MY.
OH, MY.
YEAH.
QUARANTINE-WHILE, A GUY CALLED -- QUARANTINE WHILE, THERE'S BIG
NEWS FOR PEOPLE WITH BIG EARS BECAUSE
BARACK OBAMA AND BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN ANNOUNCED A NEW
PODCAST CALLED "RENEGADES: BORN IN THE U.S.A."
WHICH IS A LITTLE SUSPICIOUS.
WERE THEY REALLY BOTH BORN IN THE U.S.A.?
SPRINGSTEEN LOOKS KENYAN TO ME.
RELEASE YOUR LONG-FORM BIRTH CERTIFICATE, BRUCE!
I'M EXCITED ABOUT THIS, PARTIALLY BECAUSE IT'LL BE A
FASCINATING CONVERSATION BETWEEN TWO AMERICAN ICONS, BUT MOSTLY
BECAUSE OF THE PART OF EVERY PODCAST WHERE THE HOST HAS TO
START PLUGGING THEIR SPONSORS.
I CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR BRUCE GIVE IT A GO.
♪ HEY LITTLE GIRL IS YOUR DADDY HOME ♪
♪ DID HE GO TO THE POST-OFFICE AND LEAVE YOU ALONE ♪
♪ OH TELL YOUR MOM ♪ ♪ OH STAMPS.com ♪
BACK WITH BILL GATES!