- A single mom that my baby seems like an ex wants me back.
How do I get him to marry me?
(upbeat music)
Hello, my name is Greta Bereisaite,
I'm dating and relationship coach for woman.
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And just before I give you the answer to this question,
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So, a lovely client of mine left me this question,
and I'm gonna read you a bit of a background story.
And I'll tell you how she needs to behave
in a high value way.
So if you are relating to the situation, stick around
because you will be able to use the advice too.
So there's beautiful lady says,
"My story is, I met a guy about a year and a half ago.
Since then it hasn't been easy, but we have a baby now.
We had separated for a while but kept talking.
Now we are sort of dealing again.
Nevertheless, in the beginning,
he had consistently mentioned marriage to me
and even brought me a beautiful diamond ring,
however, jealousy issues and fighting arguments
unfortunately kept us apart.
And now we are in each other's lives again.
It's hard again so I'm trying to figure out what to do.
Like for example, we are not officially together
but we are romantically involved.
So he is mentioned moving in together.
I prefer marriage before moving in together,
but I also do understand he is now hesitant
towards a marriage thing too.
Also we still fight and jealousy still an issue.
Where to head with the best situation.
Should we become boyfriend and girlfriend?
Or should I pressure him to give varying before we move in?
So you should definitely not
ever, ever, ever pressure a man from marriage
because it just does not work.
The best way to look at the situation
if let's say you see a future with a guy
and you're in a stage
where you feel like you should be getting married.
If a guy is not proposing to you,
all you can really do is leave the situation.
You do not pressure the guy.
Because pressuring him
is just gonna make him step back even more.
So if he's offering you something that's not good for you,
you decline his offer and you move on.
You do not pressure him towards anything,
and you do not stick around settling for me offer
that's not good enough for you.
'Cause what you're doing, you're trying to please him
in hopes for something better.
And then if nothing better comes along,
you're going to end up being in yourself,
disappointed in him.
Also resent him for wasting your time as well.
So what I would recommend in your situation.
As you say yourself, you did have problems.
You've had jealousy issues and other issues.
So if you do have problems in the relationship,
then you should not be pushing it towards marriage.
It seems to me like you think
or you assume that when marriage will just fix things.
Marriage does not fix things,
you must fix things before the marriage
and you must even see, can you actually fix it
before the marriage?
I understand all that.
Having a baby, it's a very difficult situation.
And ideally majority of people would want to be married.
However, it is what it is.
If you don't agree living together before marriage,
what I would recommend you to do,
I would tell him something like,
"Not living together before marriage goes against my values.
I like to stay true to my values
because this is who I am
and they mean a lot to me.
And I hope you can respect that."
If he wants to just today and take things slow,
it's actually a very good idea
because same as he will be observing you,
you should be observing him,
is he good enough for you as well?
Can you fulfill your needs that you need from a man?
Because same as he has needs, same you have needs.
Instead of just being like desperate for marriage,
you need to actually see,
is this guy even good enough for me to marry him?
And when as you're taking things slow,
try and analyze where you went wrong?
Where you lost emotional control?
Why it happened?
What steps do you need to take
so those problems of would not occur again?
Then you will change your behavior
and those problems will stop repeating itself.
This is when his attraction towards you
will start to grow
and this is when he will start to take you more serious.
So I would recommend,
instead of pushing him towards marriage,
focus on behaving as the best person of yourself.
So his attraction towards you starts to grow,
the problems do not occur again.
And if he does eventually propose,
you actually are having an everlasting strong marriage
because you do not have those problems anymore.
People nowadays tend to want everything quickly.
Good things do not happen quickly.
If things have been broken,
it takes time to fix them
and you can't fix it just like that.
If you've been acting low value for a year or longer,
acting high value for a week or two,
it's not gonna fix that because when you're fixing things
for the first month or two,
you're kinda trying to be the best of you
but at the same time, it can come across as a game.
Now, the key or a goal for the other person to see
is I'm used to stay in being the best of you
for a long period of time.
Ladies think about,
let's say you've been dating a guy and he messed you up,
and you comes to you and he steps it up for a month.
And then after that month,
the same things happen again.
You're not gonna trust the guy who messed you up
and then he came back, he just stepped up for a month.
You're gonna be like,
"No, like one month is not good enough.
Can you be about the person
who doesn't repeat the past mistakes
for a long period of time
not just for about a one or two months?"
Also seeing that a guy, if you've been behaving low value
and now you've just been high value for a month or so,
he's gonna be like, "Okay, I need longer time
to see have you actually changed for real?"
They always say ladies games do not work
as we are short-Lived.
It's all about patience, self-control,
self-discipline, honesty and doing the right thing.
So ladies, if you liked this video, please press like.
If you want to know how to get your ex back,
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And thank you for watching.
kisses from (indistinct).