You know this is?
This is you about five minutes
Because you're gonna speak English better than a native!
The average English person is terrible at grammar
spelling and you know being social
For example: If you hear any native English speaker
say the word "pronOUnciation"
instead of saying it "pronunciation"
Punch them in the face
Hard
True story: I used to work for someone
who would send emails to very high-profile clients in other companies
She was a native English
and her grammar and spelling were so so bad
A five-year-old could have done better
So today you're going to learn the very common mistakes that native English speakers make
Of course there are the annoying ones
Yes okay sometimes I have made that mistake
It can be a brain fart and generally we know that those are wrong
but these next five examples of mistakes that native English speakers make
make us sound so annoyingly stupid it makes me want to poke my eyes out
First some pronunciation, again it's not pronOUnciation.
That deserves a punch in the face
But how about this: Ask your native english-speaking friends how do you pronounce that letter
I guarantee you a large percentage of them will say:
it's not Haitch no it's Aitch
Punch in the face
For all you Italians, this will annoy you:
How do we say espresso?
We change the S for an X
Punch in the face!
I especially get annoyed at "eXpecially"
Where are these X's coming from?!
It's equally awful and definitely deserves a punch in the face and
defriending from Facebook forever
This you will see more in text and written things
but if you listen carefully sometimes you can hear it
What am I talking about? This:
These aren't things. Stop.
Why do British people do this you have to think of the contraction
say it enough times
Is it "would of"!?
No
I guarantee you, search on Twitter the term "would of"
you will find millions of examples of people using this incorrectly. It's nuts!
so just remember it's not would of its would have should have could have
Also native English speakers always get the third conditional wrong
In third conditionals, wishes or ifs about a past situation
You have to remember the order
The hypothetical result of that includes "would have" / "could have", sure!
but not with the "if" clause
OH what's that?! Trump isn't very good at grammar
Shocking!
So what did he want to say?
he wanted to say:
blah blah blah bullshit
But he's... an idiot
Much more commonly, you will hear this in conversation
and see it in text conversation
You can correct your friends now!
You know that this isn't the right way
What way should it be?
The next one is:
Subject pronouns!? yeah
Remember we're using subject pronouns
You wouldn't for example say "me went to the pub"
No you'd say "I went to the pub"
"I did a thing" not "me did a thing"
And it's the done thing to let the other person go first in the sentence
and finally:
Why would you pluralise something that's already plural!?
If anyone says that, you know what to do!
Hard!
And if you ever see your friends
on social media making any of these mistakes
you can be that really super popular friend
and correct their grammar
everyone loves that person
Are there any I've missed? What mistakes have you noticed that British or native English speakers make?
Let me know in the comments and I'll see you in the next class!