(loud clap)
(playful music)
- Who's going first?
(playful music)
- I'm an FBI agent, I'm actually 43 years old.
(playful music)
(swooshing sound effect)
- I'm regretting choosing this secret,
'cause it's really embarrassing.
You're not gonna like me after.
- You know, you share the past
with the person that you're dating.
- We've been off and on I guess for a while--.
- Oh my god!
- Will you pinky swear promise
that you'll like me after this?
- Hold up!
- I guess there is a woman before my first girlfriend,
I never told Mallory about.
- So on one of our off periods--
- I don't want to know any more!
- There was a thing with someone we both know.
- I got dared for the rest of freshman year,
anytime that you clip your fingernails or toenails,
put them in a mason jar.
And it became a thing where
(nervous laugh)
for the rest of of the four years of college
it was a large joke and I kept doing it!
And I have a mason jar full of
fingernails and toenails.
Is that disgusting?
Do you hate me?
- I don't hate you, but yeah, that's straight up gross.
- [Girl] It's disgusting.
- You do not have it!
- That was my first sexual occurrence was with this girl.
And we still communicate off and on
as a mentor, mentee kind of thing.
- Listen! (container rattles)
(laughs)
- Why are you the grossest thing ever?
- Oh my god, you pinky swear promised.
Don't be mean.
- Are you crying?
- Who was it?
- Someone whose hair color is now similar to mine.
(dark-haired guy sighs deeply)
(container rattles)
- [Girl] Ohhh
- [Guy] I almost just threw up.
I'm not even kidding
- [Guy] We're going to San Francisco this weekend.
- [Girl] Yeah.
- [Guy] And she's up there.
And I was really thinking about
- [Girl] Seeing her.
- Did I have to do it for four years? No.
(dark haired guy sighs)
- And we all said at the end,
whoever first gets married in our friend group
that's their wedding gift.
- That was it?
- I thought you'd take that the wrong way.
- They're brown. (laughs)
- She sort of looks like you but not really.
- Oh my god!
(both laugh)
- [Guy] Ohhhhh
- I always felt the dynamic was so good.
(both laugh)
Now I know why!
- Where do you keep it?
- Under my bed.
- That's even worse.
- That's disturbing.
- I know, but that's what happened, so--
- You're so weird.
- You know what, I'm glad you told me that.
(playful music)
There's more?!
- There's more to my secret
and it's that the secret's a lie.
This isn't toenails, Zachary Evans.
- [Guy] It was sort of made up. (laughs)
To get a reaction out of you.
- [Girl] (laughs) What?!
- (clapping on each word) Oh. My. God.
Is that the whole thing of this thing?
- Yeah.
- Son of a bitch!
- Thank god you're kidding!
- I know.
- Coulda thought of a better one, I guess.
- Yeah, that was lame. - Yeah.
- She was staight up crying.
- My eyes teared up, oh my gosh.
- You saw that. What the?
- That was so weird.
- I just did--
- You knew about this?
- I'm kind of dissapointed in your--
- I know
- In your imagination.
- That just showed your acting chops.
- Thanks, you think I'm talented?
- Yeah.
- Thanks.
- I love you.
(playful music)
- I'm disappointed.
Thanks guys.
- Get a different boyfriend next time.
(both laugh)
- There might be one.
- Stay tuned!
- You date Toenail Girl, huh?
Yeah, she's pretty,
but she's crazy for keeping toenails.
Yeah, I know!
(girl laughs loudly)
I just found out the same time you did.
- I love you.