There's a lot of things that we believe that aren't true. We might call those
myths. And there are 5 bedwetting myths the parents believe. I'm an expert
on the topic and I can debunk every one of them.
Early in my career as a professional psychologist, I worked primarily with
children, adolescents, families parents. And my doctoral dissertation was on
bedwetting. I know it's not that I'm passionate about bedwetting. It's that I
saw a problem as I was in my psychological training that parents are
looking for help with, and kids are looking for help with. So I wrote a whole
book on that. My doctoral dissertation addresses what's really driving the
problem of bedwetting and how to solve it. I've noticed as I've worked with
parents that there are a lot of myths that parents believe about bedwetting.
And believing those myths actually makes it a little harder to handle. So, let's
take each one in this list of five myths that parents believe. Number one,
bedwetting is caused by ineffective toilet training. It's a myth. Bedwetting
has 2 causes that we've identified now. I'm talking about a specific kind of
bedwetting, there are several different kinds. The most common is night time only,
where there's never been a period of dryness for over six months. That's the
most common kind, it's called primary nocturnal enuresis. And there are 2
causes to that that we've identified in the research: a deficiency of a specific
hormone it's called ADH or antidiuretic hormone
and deep sleeping. And when you have both of these together, you get bedwetting. I
can get into all of the dynamics behind that. I know from my research and
clinical experience it's not about ineffective toilet training. Myth number
2, my child is being lazy or defiant or naughty (not the case). Little disclaimer
there, your child may be lazy or defiant or naughty in some ways, but this is not
causing the bedwetting and it doesn't explain why it's happening. If we
approach it that way as parents, we tend to create more conflict with our child.
And you've probably already experienced this if you have a bedwetting child, that
there is some tension around the issue. You might have approached it with an
assumption that if they would just cooperate with you we wouldn't have this
problem. That's not true. I already explained in the first myth
what the 2 primary causes are of nocturnal enuresis or the bedwetting. It
doesn't have to do with your child's compliance or willingness to cooperate.
Little caveat here, your child's willingness to cooperate can have a
whole lot to do with the solution. And I'll come back to that in just a little
bit but it's not the cause of the bedwetting. Myth number 3, bedwetting
is caused by drinking too much before bed. Not true. It makes sense that a lot
of people would believe that myth but it's just not true.
What we found in the research on bedwetting is a deficiency of
antidiuretic hormone does contribute to a bedwetting problem and is one of the
primary causes. This hormone tends to dry us up at night and when you have enough
of the hormone you don't have to get up and go to the bathroom. Remember the
other cause is deep sleeping. So, what if you don't have enough of the hormone but
you're not a deep sleeper? Well, what happens is your body continues with a
normal urine production at night, your bladder fills causing the sensation of,
"Oh, I need to get up and go to the bathroom." And because you're not a deep
sleeper you can get up and go. Same thing happens if you drink a lot of fluids
before night. Your bladder fills, you get those signals, you get up and go to the
bathroom. That's not what's causing the bedwetting. Sometimes there's a higher
frequency of bedwetting incidents if there's a lot of fluid consumption
before bed. But I actually increase the intake of fluids in the
treatment program that I suggest because what we're doing is trying to increase
the intensity of those signals that are coming up from the bladder. That kind of
blows parent's mind sometimes when I tell them, "No, don't restrict fluids
before bed." We want to increase the magnitude of the
signals that they're already getting from their body. It's a little bit of a
paradox that we get to address. But it's not the fluid consumption that causes
the bedwetting. It may just increase the frequency of the incidence because the
problems already there. But like I just pointed out, it can be part of the
solution as well. Myth number 4, bedwetting is caused by emotional
distress. Do you remember when I said earlier that there are many kinds of
bedwettinga and at least 4 specific categorizations of bedwetting. Most of
which have nothing to do with emotional distress. There is one that gets tied to
emotional distress, specifically loss. If a child loses a pet for example or a
parent or something that's significant to them. We can see some increases in
bedwetting as a symptom. But that is not the most common factor in bedwetting. In
fact, it's only in a very specific kind of bedwetting.
Having said that, emotional distress is often associated with bedwetting because
sometimes bedwetting causes emotional distress. People are not having fun with
this, parents or kids. So, that causes some emotional distress also the conflicts
that can come up between parents and kids. Especially when parents are buying
into the myths that we're talking about on this particular video. But the
emotional distress is self typically not a cause of most kinds of bedwetting. Myth
number 5, we should just wait it out they're going to grow out of it. As is
the case with most myths, there's always a little bit of truth that has us
believing the myth in the first place. There's
truth to this one, most kids who are wetting the bed grow out of it. In fact I
think the specific numbers show something like 1% of bed wetters are
still wetting the bed at age 18. You know, if 10 or 11 you're thinking, "18? I can't
wait that long." That's why I identified this one as a
myth. Even though the likelihood of growing out of it before adulthood is
very high. There are a lot of factors here that say, "Hey, if we can address it
at an earlier age, let's do that." Because then it represents a whole lot less
stressful context for the child and for the parents. Simply waiting to grow out
of it probably isn't the most acceptable option for most families. And there are
things that you can do about it. So, even though there's some truth to this that,
"Yeah, most people are going to grow out of this." It doesn't mean that we should just
ignore it or hope that it goes away sooner. There's a lot of things that we
can do. Did you hear me say that there's a lot of things that we can do? I don't
know if you were aware that my treatment program that I developed in writing my
dissertation is available to you as a downloadable ebook. Go-to finallydry,
finallydry.info and pick up your copy today. I think it's going to help.