Hi everyone, I'm Adrienne Everheart
your dating and relationship coach.
I am a feminine energy expert.
Today I'm going to teach you how to be soft and drive him wild.
You can actually make a man pursue you, feel so good around you,
so comfortable that he wants to pursue you,
chase you, and just make him feel wild inside for you.
He really won't know why,
he'll just know when he's with you
he feels so good and he can't get enough of you.
Whether you are dating or in a relationship, I'm going to talk about
several techniques you can use today
including your body, scripting,
and even problem solving, argument solving.
I've got a lot of tip to share with you, so make sure you stick around.
If you haven't subscribed to me yet, please do.
Go ahead and hit the subscribe button, hit the bell, be notified
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and I can't wait to share with you
how to drive your guy wild right now today.
(Music)
One of the greatest concepts I can share with you
is that you want to be soft on the outside
and like a mountain on the inside.
The mountain on the inside part is your boundaries.
This is where you know yourself.
You know what you'll stand for and what you won't.
You know when to say yes and when to say no,
you know yourself.
This is a very valuable key component
to knowing your boundaries
and being strong and solid on the inside.
Because with men, you want to actually be soft on the outside,
being soft will actually drive a man wild for you.
They'll really want to chase you and pursue you and like I said before,
he won't really know why.
He'll just know that when he's with you,
he feels calm, he feels wonderful,
he feels a soft essence around you that feels like home,
that feels good to him
and he really won't be able to get enough of you.
Now if you're watching this video, there is a very good chance
you are a PDW.
That stands for a powerful dynamite woman.
Most of my clients are powerful dynamite women.
We are very much at home in our mental energy,
we are go-getters, we have successful careers
we are the matriarch of the house hold,
we've had everything in order and everything going on.
And you might have had a really strong father figure
or a really strong mother figure, it really doesn't matter.
But you identified with one of them more than the other one.
So, you end up inheriting a lot of masculine energy
because it's how you get things done, right?
It's how you make things happen in this world.
Problem is it doesn't work so great with a man,
because a man is naturally in his masculine energy
and any sort of ordering, instructing, coaching, helping,
encouraging him, is just going to drive him away.
So, I'm going to teach you how to be soft
and how to soften a lot of these qualities
and not completely lose them or lose yourself
but soften these qualities so he won't be able to get enough of you.
So, intimidating behaviors can be disguised
as a lot of little tiny small things you're doing
that you're really not even aware that you're doing.
And these intimidating female behaviors can
really make a man not have that, this time and space he needs
to actually claim you.
You become one of the guys,
now here's how you do that.
On an online dating app, you might be having a
snarky, joking, back and forth dialogue,
and you really feel like you're outwitting him and he's outwitting you
and it's really fun and you're laughing a lot.
You'll have this sort of joking relationship,
but what you're doing is you're really becoming one of the guys.
So then, he has this intimidation around you,
where he not only has to maneuver around you being one of the guys,
but somehow break through to that softness
and that vulnerability where he gets to move in a little closer to you.
I once had a guy say to me
will you stop talking and be still so I can kiss you.
With that much in my masculine energy
just trying to be the life of the party
and a cheer leader and keep things going.
Especially in dating apps
when you're first starting to communicate with a man
or the first couple of dates you're having with a man
you might have the spotlight on you
and just want to show him what a super star you are.
And what it's really going to do is
it's keeping you from being vulnerable
and instead, you're going to have this intimidating vibe around you
and the man will then have to
jump through the hoop of you being just one of the guys
and then move on to
how do I get around her heart?
We want to subtract that intimidating part
where you're joking, being cocky, being very smart and witty
and over sharing to a place where you're receiving
where you can just slowdown that energy and receive from him.
This doesn't mean you can't be funny,
this doesn't mean you can't tell a joke.
It doesn't mean you're not yourself,
but you're not doing or saying these things
in order to get some sort of reaction from that man.
You're doing or saying them
because they're very authentic and they are in the moment.
What does this require?
It requires a lot of observation of the self.
And that's one of the things I teach you in all of my programs.
First and foremost is,
we got to get you under control
because if we're just letting your brain run the show
it's going to do what it's always done.
And this is really about learning how to speak and be in a brand new way
that's actually very natural to you.
We're just going to get you practicing it more.
So, we are going to learn how to practice more
being in our feminine energy,
which is receiving, being fully present,
having empathy, listening,
relating to what that person is going through.
Also sharing about yourself but sharing in a way
that is very warm with your heart exempt.
So what happens when you stop being intimidating?
You're vulnerable and when you're vulnerable your heart shows to the man
and this is why he falls in love with you.
Another example of when we get hard on the outside
and we get very hard and this repels a man
is that when you're first around men or men you might like.
You might start to zip up and make yourself a little bit small and say
I don't know if he likes me,
I really like him but I don't know if he likes me.
And what's happening is that you're getting up in your head.
And the moment you go upstairs
in your head and you're trying to like figure out
does he like you or will he like you?
You lose your vulnerability you lose your softness.
What happens if you have a man in front of you and you
act like you don't know if he might like you or not.
You don't know if you might like him or not
and you let that natural shyness come through.
So, often I hear from my clients and they say, I'm so shy to talk to a man.
I'm so shy to even look at him or speak at him.
Well, you are going to have to do a couple of things
to let a man know you're interested
with your body language,
but at the same time, you can let your shyness and softness
shine through.
That is a lot of the reason why men
fall for us, is that we have this vulnerable soft side to us
that they want to protect
and it's a number of a bunch of other things,
but that's the biggest one that I think a lot of women should focus on.
You just be yourself, be who you really are
You're not being a certain personality type or energy
because you are out of control
and this is just what you do
you talk non-stop when you get in front of the guy you like.
So, that's out of control
but instead, come from a slow deliberate
and easy place of your energy flowing.
So, see if when you're around men in a public setting
if you can't practice finding what that feels like in your body
and kind of isolating between the two
and find out which one feels more comfortable to you.
A few quick tips on how to drop that menial agenda
when you are out in public
or even if you're chatting online with a man
or you're about to go on a date.
It's one of the best things we can do is get into our body.
So this is a really important tip I teach you
where you drop down into the feminine.
So, upstairs is the masculine energy world this is what you're thinking
and doing and action and planning, your vetting
you're figuring everyone out, you're figuring out
you know, does he like you, does he not like you, all these things.
Busy, busy, busy activity. Drop down into your body
start retaking a couple of slow deep breaths.
Take three slow deep breaths
and with each breath, you want to drop down into your body, good.
And when you do drop down in between the hips,
allow them to widen.
Allow them to widen and create space there
and space between your bottom, use that whole area
to create space and emptiness
and try to breathe into this part of your body.
You can also raise your shoulders up and drop them down.
Raise your shoulders up and drop them down.
And there is nothing like a good wiggle.
a good wiggle just to wiggle off all the extra
nervousness and jittery and energy you might have.
Now, this next one comes up a lot both in relationships and dating
and that's where we talk about work.
Now, if you're in a date with someone they might ask you
what do you do for a living
and you might begin to speak and speak and speak
about your career or your job.
Ah, we are now in masculine energy
because we're thinking, doing, processing and we're talking about work.
Ladies is the same thing
when your husband comes home from work or when he text you
he says how was your day and you tell him about what happened at work.
This does not connect him to your heart,
you're staying in that masculine energy business mind and world.
A lot of relationships also get stuck in maintenance conversation,
which is basically I took the kids to school did you get the garage fixed?
No, I picked up this part for the dish washer.
You're just talking about things
that are going on your life that are maintenance,
that are house hold maintenance.
So, I want you to think warm honey
and creating a bond
instead of sharing my pain story with you.
We have really become a culture that shares our pain story as a way to connect.
but instead I want you to focus on sharing
this warm honey inside of you.
This wonderful bond you can create with your man about what you're feeling
in your day and what you have felt.
So, often girls say to me,
well, Adrienne. What if I had a bad day, shouldn't he be there for me?
I used the feeling statement shouldn't he
instantly respond with what I need.
First of all, that's not the purpose of feeling statements
It's not to get an instant response or to get what you want.
And if you've had a bad day one of the most important things you can do
is just learn how to seek help and support from other women in your life
and lean on your man to create that strong warm wonderful bond.
It doesn't mean you can't tell him
that something went wrong and you feel really down and you need a hug.
But identify what it is that you want from him
and is it realistic,
is this something we can really expect our partners to give us?
But ladies when you drop down into your body
and you find out what it is you really need or want.
Whether it's what's happened after a long day of work
or a long day of maintenance issues,
you're able to better understand what it is you need.
Again, this takes practice
getting back into that feminine energy
and finding out what you really feel.
Now, if you're on a date with a man
and he wants to know a lot about your job.
I encourage you sum up your job, your career
in one or two sentences and speak about what
it does for you from a place of passion.
Just how your career fulfills you in a passionate way,
so, for example, I am an accountant
and I work at a very large bank.
Think about what you're really doing as an accountant at this bank.
Are you helping small companies grow,
are you helping families get loans,
are you helping kids go to college?
What are you really helping happen
with your accounting position
and speak from a place of passion.
Now if he goes on and on and on about his job,
it's okay to act bored,
it's okay to get bored.
Feminine energy isn't about lying
or being untruthful in any way far from it.
You're totally allowed to get bored with a guy
wherever he's speaking about.
If he's going on and on about his job
and here's a few quick ways you can show it.
Mm aha
Mmm
M hmm.
These are just a few of my faces that I show when I'm in boredom.
And if the man says oh, are you bored with me? You go,
well yeah I'm a little bored talking about work.
It feel really good if we just talk about us though
and he might say well, I don't have anything to talk about but work
oh, okay.
is that who you want to be with?
A guy who only has things to talk about that are work?
That's what dates are for.
You're finding out what your partner is made of,
what he's about and how he reacts and responds.
And if that's the first date,
remember no one is in there A game on their first date,
it usually take a couple of dates to kind of start to get to know someone.
Now another way to drive a guy wild
and make him really crazy for you is that he knows
when it comes to arguments,
you're not going to have this back and forth
back and forth engagement of drama
that I talk about in the drama triangle.
Now, my greatest technique for dealing with this is actually going silent.
And you might really have a point to prove,
you might really feel wrong
and angry and if that is the case,
I want you to wait until you are totally calm down
and in a very neutral energy place before you address this with him.
So, that bickering, that back and forth
we sometimes get lassoed into it.
This is called engaging,
If you're familiar with any of my programs you know I speak
often of the drama triangle
where you're either a victim,
you're a prosecutor or you're rescuing
or someone is prosecuting you and you're the victim
and either way you buy into it somehow.
So, when you learn how to communicate
especially through a very difficult argument
and you don't fall into prosecuting your partner
or being such a victim while they're prosecuting you.
You really learn a new way of speaking and being that's very much grounded
in feminine energy.
My number one technique for this and I've saved this for last
it's so simple, it's so easy,
go silent.
Go silent, let your partner say what they need to say.
You have a million and one things you want to say back to them,
but just nod, take your three deep breaths,
drop into your body, and give yourself time to calm down
before you continue this conversation
and you can even tell your partner,
I need a few minutes before I can talk about this more.
I feel really upset, I need a little more time okay?
And you step away and you give yourself time.
Now, so often when you are establishing a new behavior
your partner will go no no no you come back
here and speak with me now about it.
Don't want you to change back to whatever you've been doing before
and this is where you have to be really firm
but soft in your boundary in your delivery
and just let him know I appreciate you want to solve it right now.
It feels really good that you want to take care of this.
I need a little time to think, feel my way through
or think my way through.
There are some things you need to think about and figure out.
My favorite script with men of all time
has to be the following.
I want to fix this, what do you think we should do?
Not only you're putting the energy back into the man's hands,
but you're opening up dialogue for resolution instead of like,
I'm done, I quit, I can't do this anymore, this is too hard.
I want to fix this, what do you think we should do?
A lot of times the man will say,
I don't know, what do you think we should do?
Now this is very important, ladies.
I want you to look often to the distance
and act like you're thinking and maybe you really are
and I want you to count to forty.
I'm willing to guarantee you nine times out of ten
within that forty second count,
the man will begin giving you options to fix whatever is going wrong.
Trust me on this one, silence, move slowly, let it unfold.
These are some of my best feminine energy tips
and I know they're going to work so well for you whether you're dating
or you're in a relationship or marriage.
Now if you're ready to go deeper remember I have online courses.
I have my best selling e-book, which is 500 Ways to Talk to a Man.
It comes with a two-day video class
or I have my Femm Tools, I have Femm Tools for dating
and Femm Tools for marriage and relationships.
I have so many wonderful programs
that you can study right at the comfort of your computer or phone
and learn these messages so you don't have to duct tape them together
and you will feel so relaxed in your feminine energy
and soft on the outside and like a mountain on the inside.
All right everyone, be sure to subscribe if you haven't already
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Thank you so much for tuning in to my channel.
I love to hear from you in the comment sections
and check out a few of my other videos too.
I look forward to hearing from you soon
much love bye bye.