Kim O’Hara, Author/Book Coach/Speaker/Podcaster: If you're going to get honest, get honest. Now
we're not going to email it to them. Just write it and I think that's where they start to unlock…
Film Courage: What's the inciting incident in your book?
Kim: It would be waking up from the dream absolutely
and sitting in my living room and really thinking Oh I know and then
what do I do now? That's the inciting incident. There's a whole journey that comes from that
and and most people like clients that I work with in their books it's usually that that one t
it's not always like the most exciting moment necessarily it's that stop that inside moment
where you know something's going to change forever and it did when you went to sleep the night before
had you watched a movie did something happen do you think triggered it or no it was just
this time why did you procrastinate writing for so long I know you had this realization but
didn't weren't there other things you were putting off yeah I mean I think that I had to go through
a lot of different experiences so that I could know what to write about
so if I had just started writing right away from the dream and I was I was journaling everything so
I had a lot of good material but I hadn't lived enough yet to really see the difference right
so like I had to be a recovered so I had to be a survivor for a little while before I felt like I
could really look at what I had slighted myself in in living to write about what I could potentially
have and my second book which is written and it's sitting on my laptop is all about the next steps
which is you've put in a bunch of years as a survivor you've seen the change
and you're ready to leave behind that past of how you used to live and you're ready to kind
of now take this new you into another level of your life but I am procrastinating on it
I've decided I want to write another book that's a lot more fun so that can happen sometimes and
get distracted but I do believe everything is in the right time so I know that my first book got
published so I know that another one will and I've actually taken that book down the first memoir
I took the rights back from the publisher in December I don't feel like the service was done
that it deserves people read it and they go this is like the most amazing book I've
ever read on abuse this should be a worldwide book and the publisher did not do a good job so
and neither did I frankly because today you have to be behind your book 100 you can't rely
on a publisher at all and so I've taken the book rights back I'm actually doing a second edition
on it I'm going to rename it and I'm going to put it out under my own publishing label
why rename it kicking abuse in the ass was a very sort of yeah
kind of title right and I want it to reach more people so now I'm going to call it awoken
okay are you do you think the title might scare certain people I i want to go more direct I think
what I've learned with my clients and helping them come up with book titles
and and chapter headings there's like there's a there's a fine line between clever and kind of
not really telling people what you're going to do for them in the book like Kicking Abuse in the Ass
it wasn't really what I was doing in the book 100
it wasn't like I was going in there and slaying it I was really being reflective
why do you think most writers procrastinate oh a whole I could give you the longest list
I hear I've heard everything from I'm afraid of being famous what will I do with all my
time when I'm famous how am I going to take care I don't want to upset my family members
I don't know if I can finish something I've started so they don't even start I'm not I don't
have a writing degree like I don't have like a you know I'm not a graduate of the Iowa state writing
you know writing conference so why bother a lot of reasons a lot of reasons I can't find time
on my schedule I don't understand what kind of support I need I don't know what kind of structure
there should be a million reasons you had talked about you were looking to maybe one day direct
write and direct as the new Kim what what you saw as the new Kim do you think people don't know
what the new self would be as this author if that like you've talked about this fear of being famous
whatever but also too they'd be taking on this new persona that maybe they'd be leaving victimhood or
whatever behind and now can you talk about that oh yeah the new persona and how you transformed into
that I love that this question is such a beautiful question because it comes up actually more
in the class I run called own your authorship where it's sort of that chasm between like they
have the desire to tell their story but the yes feels like kind of far you know and people come in
and they they take the class and they're like a little bit like who are you and who do you you
know a little bit like not chip on their shoulder but you know let's see what you got you know
and I just work them till you know we turn we do a prompt that's called I hate you because and many
people write about themselves and then I make them go back and write it about someone else and they
go well I don't want to hate somebody else I go well you know you do so why don't you tell us
about it like if you're going to get honest get honest now we're not going to email it to them
just write it and I think that that's where they start to unlock and they start to see themselves
and and start to be okay and then they just really like you see a shift immediately where there's
they're realizing wait a minute like I have a story to tell and then we do you know come find a
picture of yourself in your 20’s some groups I'll do little kids like I'll kind of intuitively gauge
the group I can tell very early on what I need to do with people I’m very intuitive that way
and from that writing about where they came from you just see them start to just like
light up and then we talk about the author persona and what is your author persona like
who would you be if you were like a successful author what does that look like would you have
your own jet are you doing a book tour worldwide or is this where you make all your income and you
see a lot of them like well I don't know I mean is that well we're not saying that's going to happen
or not happen I just want you to write about it you know and so a lot of the resistance is
the it's almost like they feel like they're saying something that's not true by writing about it
even though it's a dream they have so if you can get them to write about the dream then
the dream suddenly doesn't seem so far-fetched what do you think your biggest resistance was to
writing I think for me a lot of it was time I was single parenting trying to build a business and
I literally did not have any time I also did not hire a coach which I should have done
when I finally hired an editor everything moved really fast because I was ready but I think I just
I i you know I didn't take my own medicine you know I didn't bring in someone I was telling
everybody that were my clients how important it is to be coachable and I wasn't co being coached
so i'd say my resistance was I didn't think that I was worthy of exactly what I tell my
clients to believe they're worthy of how do you know you have the right coach so
I'm sure there's a gazillion coaches editors out there you know there's not a lot of book coaches
that necessarily do a white glove service I don't hear about a lot of them I hear about you know
editors that might edit your book over 90 days or and I'm doing more of like a deep dive into like
the whole purview of the person like what do you want to what does this book mean to you like what
do you want to be with this book like I often help people come up with trademarkable systems or
business ideas or mantras that they can actually then claim as their own through the writing of
the book that they couldn't see before I'll be like that's brilliant nobody else is doing that
and they'll be like oh my goodness yeah so I'm not sure that that's so much of just an editor I
think that is definitely more of a coach because I'm seeing the human potential in that person
through what they're sharing with me about who they are and then we happen to be writing a book
through it all so is this someone who already has a first draft finish I don't take people typically
on that have a first draft because then we'd have to break it all up and then I’m just putting glue
on something that's probably broken so I like to work with people from the very very start so if
I call you and say or email you and say I would like to write about my life I don't even have an
outline I'm just telling you this is my desire and we're going to go from there and structure
it together yep wow yeah that's that's my favorite way to work because we really just start from this
from scratch you know we do the outline together and then we go through eight months of work what
are some of the first questions you asked someone it really depends on the people I mean I don't
have a formula more than outline day first draft second draft third draft get the book published
I ask them a lot of questions before I do the outline day with them and kind of ask them about
you know tell me about three amazing moments in your life you know
write to me about what you think about yourself what were some of your greatest accomplishments
if they've told me a little bit about something that happened in their life or why they became
a coach or why they've been a binge eater or you know what it was like in the navy I'll say give
me a couple scenes on that because from that I can sort of get a tone of what it would be
and then and a lot of that is movie business work you know kind of seeing what the scenes are
and then wrapping around the scenes a narrative for the book do you ever ask them the why yeah
we do that knowing your authorship we work out the why generally because people
that are not ready to write a book the reason is because they're not confident in their why
so that's why I have them take the class people that come to be ready to be a private client
they're pretty rock they've got a really good why it might be a little bit smaller than they think
like I'll find a bigger why but generally they come in with like this is what I'm
writing about and I don't have to like work it so these aren't wishy-washy people on the fence
they're they're like there's no people that do my one year now there's not a lot of convincing
I like to say like if someone comes to me for a one year they're usually like there's no cell
they're just in but if I'm on the phone with someone for a really long time
then generally they're not going to be a client right away.
Why do you procrastinate when it’s time to write?