I put a flux capacitor for sale on Craigslist.
[alarming music]
If you don't know what one is it's from the Back to the Future movies.
And you can use it to go back and forth in time.
It's a time machine
"Flux Capacitor?"
I discovered I had an extra one after a f*** up in the Space/Time continuum
that now means that I have two
of everything.
this took a while but, eventually, a guy replied.
A guy called Joe Lawson sent me an email.
Soooo I can use this to go back to the future, right?
Question mark, question mark, smiley face.
I said "You certainly can Joe"
But crucially
I now had Joe's email address.
Which
is probably not a strong position for him to be in
So what I then did
because it was a flux capacitor; it was a time travel machine
"This is what makes time travel possible"
I then went to gmail.com and I made another email address
for
Future
Joe Lawson
You can see where this is going
I then sent Joe an email
From himself.
from the future
Dear Joe Lawson
It is I
Future Joe Lawson
I've come to warn you
Do not buy The Flux Capacitor
I repeat do not buy the flux capacitor. trust me on this, it's a bad idea.
yours sincerely, Future Joe
That's not great news. So I wanted to give him like a
a stock tip so I said
um, PS
err invest in, um
you know. So .. there was that?
Who is this?
I mean it's ..
it's you
you, Joe
Thirty years from now
It's mostly the same
Except now
Your'e big into Hummus
Aaaahhh I remember when
You know, I used to
enjoy those heady days of abreevs
Ha Ha
Ok
You're the guy from Craigslist
Good one
but you've gone
to far
I resented that slightly because I didn't I didn't think I had gone, err, "to" far
"From this point in time it will be the future of *this* reality"
So what I then did was
I made er another email address
This time for *Future* Future Joe Lawson
I then sent Joe an email
From Future Future Joe Lawson
Copying in
Future Joe Lawson
It was sort of like a round, it was like a ..
I am Future Future Joe Lawson
I am from a future
Far Beyond Future Joe's
Just. Just wanted to chime in and say you can safely purchase the Flux Capacitor.
It all works out in the end.
PS
Still good. Still good.
But Future Joe Lawson
was not happy. with good reason.
He replied to all.
Why should Joe Lawson
and I,
Future Joe Lawson,
trust you?
But obviously Future Future Joe Lawson was
He was very angry.
You are not FUTURE Joe Lawson, you are both PAST Joe Lawson
Ok stop emailing me?
Please
F.****
Joseph
erm
this. this probably isn't super helpful to point out but
err you did did. you did just tell yourself to .. I mean
Technically
erm
if you think about it
you know. So there's that.
Joe
I've had an idea.
I'm going to use the Flux Capacitor
to go forward in time
and work out whether Future Future Joe
can be trusted
I'm at work
I did it Joe.
I've gone further into the future
But I can't see Future Future Joe Lawson anywhere
[NOISE OF SHOCKING REALISATION]
I just realised something
I actually .... can't ... err
Please stop.
I
AM FUTURE FUTURE JOE LAWSON
It's a bit of a headf*** but there you go
I'm blocking you
And he did block those two email addresses
But he didn't block the fir, the first one that I'd used
So then I sent him an email from that one.
Flux Capacitor Sold
Can I interest you ...
in some hummus?
People often ask me, James why don't you do a kickstarter?
to that I say ..
err, well
I'm gonna
I'm doing one
And I'd love you to be a part of it
by "being a part" I mean
err
pledge
money
It's a comedy special which will be out later on this year but
I'm putting the word comedy in quotations
and also probably the word special as well
let's call it a moviefilm
James Veitch's movie film
so there's a link here
oh!
And I'm putting it on
On VHS
Oh yeah.
If you're in the US
These are PAL tapes and the US is NTSC
So
You're gonna have an even harder time playing them
I mean that makes it at least
4 / 5% cooler still.