(intense music)
(upbeat music)
- [Kurt Braunohler] Soggy log, June 1st.
I've ridden 250 miles in the last two days,
and we've only raised $10,000.
It's only enough to send 100 goats to families in Africa.
How do I get people excited about this mission?
Maybe I just haven't done enough for people right here,
in the good ol' U.S. of A.
Time to change that.
(energetic music)
(singing) ♪ Personal watercraft.
♪ Personal watercraft.
So we met Kaylee the night before,
and Kaylee tells us that she's graduating
from high school the very next day.
And we're just like, "Oh, Kaylee."
"Do you wanna ride a jet ski to graduation?"
(audience laughing)
And Kaylee's like, "Fuck yes, I do!"
Like a caterpillar coming out of a cocoon,
high school graduation is maybe the most important time
of a young lady's life.
Until she experiences anything after that.
Hey Kaylee!
- Hey!
You're my ride, aren't ya?
- I'm your ride.
- All right.
- All right, get on here.
You're gonna graduate!
Welcome to being an adult!
It's all as good as this!
(cheering)
Kaylee's ready to get wasted tonight!
- Hell yeah!
- Hell yes.
- [Both] No more school!
No more school!
- You can do anything you want!
Who ya gonna vote for now?
- I don't even know politics.
- Who gives a shit?
- Not me!
- Kaylee, what're ya gonna be when you grow up?
- A nurse practitioner.
- Now that you're 18, you can totally milk a cow.
- I can milk a cow.
- You legally can milk a cow.
That's one of the laws of the United States.
- Are you being dead serious?
- Nope.
- Oh. (laughs)
- Nope, no, I think you can milk a cow whenever you want.
- Okay.
- And then I drop her off at graduation,
you know, like, ready for her to just transform
into the nurse practitioner she was always meant to be.
And it was like my jet ski had
become this weird, wet cocoon, y'know,
and Kaylee had got on a caterpillar,
and got off a butterfly destined to get wasted in the woods.
(audience laughing)
It was beautiful.
And then the whole thing was we're gonna go to Kaskaskia.
Kaskaskia is the smallest town in Illinois.
And it's fascinating.
This place used to have thousands of people,
and then the Mississippi changed direction around it
and killed everyone in the town.
And now there's 14 people left.
And then I'm gonna give them this present,
like I have a big surprise for everybody.
Here we are in Kaskaskia.
I'm gonna try and meet every single person in Kaskaskia.
And give 'em bundt cake.
And invite them to a gift that I'm giving to the town.
(knocking)
- I've got a bundt cake for everybody, just as a gift.
- I've got a bundt cake for
everybody who lives in Kaskaskia.
- Well, thank you!
- You're welcome!
I've got cameras just following me because I'm jet skiing
from Chicago to New Orleans,
and I happened to stop in Kaskaskia,
and I found out that it is
the second smallest town in Illinois.
- There's only three, five, maybe eight
of us that lives here.
- I thought it was 14.
So you guys are the smallest town in Illinois.
- I mean, someone's moved out.
- Oh yeah, someone moved out
and you actually got it back to the smallest town.
Have a good day!
- Yeah, you too.
- Only eight.
So what's interesting is, talked to that lady,
eight people.
There's only eight people, which is perfect,
'cause we only have nine bundt cakes.
So I think we can literally meet everyone.
There's a house, let's see if anybody's home.
(knocking)
- [Man] Hello there, hi.
- Hi, how are you?
- Real good, you? - Good.
I'm just going around trying to meet everybody in Kaskaskia,
and I wanted to give you this bundt cake.
- Okay, well I'll say thank ya.
- Oh you're welcome. - Appreciate it.
- I brought you a bundt cake.
- [Woman] Oh, well, they're delicious, yes.
- Here ya go.
- He belongs to a neighbor down the street.
(laughing)
- This town used to have 7,000 people in it.
And then the Mississippi river changed direction around it,
wiping it out, and it's only because of
one piece of concrete that it doesn't
successfully destroy it every year.
But then every 20 years, it does!
Never been to a house that starts on the second story.
Hello!
- [Woman] Hello!
- [Kurt] Bundt cake delivery.
Thanks, guys.
- Thanks, take care.
- [Kurt] So everybody's been pretty overwhelmingly friendly.
I was more expecting if you live in a town with 14 people,
that you kind of, maybe, hate people?
But maybe it's the opposite.
It's a choice, because you want to
live somewhere that you love.
And I respect that, I like that a lot.
It feels weird saying to everybody,
without telling them what it is: I got you a gift.
It sounds like I'm a lunatic.
But...
I don't want to tell them what it is.
I want them to be surprised.
All right, on count of three you're gonna turn around,
and we will reveal the gift to Kaskaskia.
One.
Two.
Three.
Turn around.
(laughing)
(townspeople cheering)
- [Woman] They got kitties, Mary Ellen.
- [Woman in Hat] How did you happen to get cats?
(laughing)
She's our cat person.
- [Kurt] Well, that'll be up there, at least for a month.
- [Woman in Hat] That's great, well thank you so much.
- Thank you guys so much.
Thank you guys so much, let's come in for a huge.
- To Kaskaskia!
- The biggest little town in Illinois.
- [Man] Ready, on three.
- Put it in, one, two, three.
- [All] One.
Two.
Three.
Kaskaskia!
- These people live in a town that completely floods
every 20 years.
I mean, I expected to either find grade A fuckin' lunatics,
or morons, like a bunch of dumb birds
who keep makin' their nests in a canon, y'know?
But instead I found the kindest people.
People who loved where they lived,
even if it might kill them.
(audience laughs)
And I get that, that's cool, I'm from Jersey.
We're the same way. (audience laughing)
Fuckin' right on, Kaskaskia.
Long live the Boss.
Kaskaskia taught me a lot.
If you just reach out to people,
don't be scared to talk to them.
Even if they only live in a town with eight people.
They're still gonna be very happy
to have a conversation with you,
especially if you got a cake.
(energetic music)
Hey!
Africa needs bundt cakes too, America, so donate!
Click right here and donate to Africa!
Come on, what're you waiting for?