If you watched my video two weeks ago to the very end, then you already know my good news.
And if you haven't watched the end of that video, then I just want to tell you right now . . .
I'm a dad!
Because of that, I feel now would be an appropriate time to teach you guys some vocabulary related to babies,
because I've found that this subject has a lot of special words, along with some others that aren't very clear.
Plus, everyone likes babies, right?
The baby's ready.
Let's do it.
Of course, before you can have a baby, you and another person have to conceive it.
I'm not going to illustrate that scene. Bit too hot.
The verb for that process is:
I don't know why we use that word,
because normally "conceive" means, like, to form an idea or an opinion.
But here, it means to form a person.
Anyway, you can say, for example:
And the noun form of "conceive" is "conception."
For example, people who protest against abortion often say, "Life begins at conception,"
which means . . . (you already know because you speak English).
After conception, the mother carries the baby.
I'm guessing most of you already know we would say, "She's pregnant,"
but English also has some slang and euphemisms for it.
If you haven't watched my video about euphemisms, you can watch it here.
In the first three to four months of pregnancy, a lot of women experience something really awful:
being "nghén."
When we talk about that in English, we usually say "morning sickness,"
because the most common "nghén" symptom is being nauseated in the morning.
I know the term "morning sickness" is a bit overly specific compared to "nghén,"
but English doesn't have any other commonly used words for it.
Okay, moving on.
After all those months of morning sickness, ballooning up, and so on,
a woman finally reaches the moment of giving birth.
Right before a woman gives birth, Vietnamese people usually wish her "round mother, square baby,"
and some students have asked me if English has a similar sort of idiom.
No.
You could say something like,
but English doesn't have any traditional phrases for that situation.
What's more, if you explained the phrase "round mother, square baby" to a Western like me,
and explained that in the philosophy of yin and yang,
the circle and the square together symbolize completeness, and so forth,
that Westerner would probably find it pretty odd,
because in English, the circle and the square typically appear together in the idiom
which, in a figurative sense, means trying in vain to do the impossible.
So to me, the phrase "round mother, square baby" . . .
doesn't really sound that good.
Okay, we're getting sidetracked.
We're learning about having babies here.
I know you all know how to talk about the act of birth with respect to the baby or yourself, for example:
But I've found a lot of you don't know how to talk about the act of birth with respect to the mother.
The precise term for it is "to give birth."
For example:
However, native speakers often just use the word "have."
For example:
I'm not making that up. It's the truth.
Why did you do that, kid?
You think Mom and Dad don't need to sleep?
Bad baby!
Women can have a baby in the normal way or in the surgical way.
The normal was is called:
And if the mother doesn't use any drugs, doesn't have an episiotomy, or anything like that,
that's called "a natural birth."
And the surgical method is called:
"Caesarean" because a lot of historians have speculated that Julius Caesar,
the dictator of the Roman Republic, was born that way.
However, we very rarely say "Caesarean section"
and instead usually shorten it to "C-section."
And babies born that way are usually called:
Take me, for example:
English has got another shortened word, wich we use for babies born too early.
In English, we call that situation "premature birth,"
and we call those babies "preemies."
No joke.
4.2 kilograms.
And it was a vaginal delivery.
Talented mom, or what?
And yet another shortened phrase: instead of saying "a newborn baby,"
native speakers often leave off the word "baby" and just say "a newborn."
For example:
And when you bring your newborn home, everyone will come visit and say things like
"So cute!" "She looks just like her mom!" And so on.
And just a few days ago, I learned that people also often say "trộm vía" (kind of like "knock on wood").
She's so cute, knock on wood.
She's so healthy, knock on wood.
She's so quiet and easy, knock on wood.
We don't say anything like that in English.
If you think the baby is beautiful, go ahead and say it's beautiful.
If you think it looks healthy, go ahead and say it looks healthy.
And if you feel the baby is "ngoan," you should use a word that you probably won't guess.
With older children, "ngoan" is "good" or "well-behaved."
However, with a "ngoan" baby, that is a baby who doesn't scream or cry very much,
native speakers usually just say "easy."
Take this one, for example.
And if your baby is easy and healthy, then there are only three things you need to do for it:
bathe it, feed it, and change it.
For the first one, don't say "take a shower to the baby,"
but rather "give the baby a bath" or "bathe the baby."
Feeding the baby—
You don't get to watch that! All you get is an illustration.
The terms for that are:
You probably know the word "nurse" as someone who works in a hospital,
but it means "to breastfeed," too.
And for changing the diaper, you can translate it word by word:
"thay" . . . "change"
"bỉm" . . . "diaper" or "nappy"
However, once again, native speakers often shorten it and leave off the word "diaper."
If you hear someone say,
that means they need to change its diaper.
And finally, I want to talk about something that's been really exasperating for me over the past few days:
the post-pregnancy "no-nos."
Oh, a woman who's just given birth can only eat lean pork and "rau ngót" soup.
She can't leave the house for a month.
And she can't shower, either!
Jesus.
I think a lot of you know already,
but to those who don't, I just want to say . . .
Guys, people in other countries don't abstain from anything after giving birth.
All of the post-pregnancy rules in Vietnam aren't based on anything,
other than ignorance.
And for things like that, that is traditional health advice that isn't based on science,
we use the phrase "old wives' tales."
For example, there's an old wives' tale where I'm from that cracking your knuckles will lead to arthritis.
It's not true. It's just a superstition.
And all of the things you're supposed to abstain from after giving birth . . .
Here's wishing you a "round mother, square baby."
(The rest of the video is just about ELSA, an English pronunciation app that I'm guessing you don't need, since you watched this video with English subtitles.)
(However, there are some more pictures of the baby at the very end. Skip to 9:21.)