(spooky music plays)
(thunder crashes)
- This girl, I met her in my DMs.
We was talking for like a week, week or two almost
and I guess, you know, just one day
she had wanted to link up.
That's when she told me she was chillin' with some friends
at a house, and I was with my cousin and my
(man smooches) (woman cries)
friend at the time so I was like, "Dang, that's fine."
She was with two friends, I was with two people.
I said, "All right, bet."
So, we going to pull up.
By the time get there, it's like a little dark,
and it was like the evening and stuff,
so it was a little dark.
So, we get to the crib, we park up.
We start walking towards the front of the crib.
We was just like, "I don't know.
"It's giving me some weird vibe," but I don't know.
We just, it's night, the middle of Jersey,
it's just like it's just weird.
And, especially this house.
I don't know, it was like no lights.
There was no street lights on the block, first of all.
I mean, just there was no lights
at the in the front of the house, it was no nothing.
It was just like a door.
It was dark and then a door and then a car
and then the driveway.
It was a little, it was weird, I don't know.
It was giving me like one of them
scary movies type of vibes.
You know, like back in the day,
those little deserted isolated houses,
like one of those type of houses.
It was a little scary.
At first, I even was just thinking about
just going back in the car, going back home,
but, you know, had to do what we had to do.
So, we get there, she comes outside
and then she brings us inside.
We get inside, looking around the house.
It's cool, a cool little house, but it's still weird.
I don't know what it is about the house.
I guess the way it was set up to paint?
I don't know what it was,
but it was a little weird to me, so.
(romantic music plays)
(creepy violin music plays)
We get in the room and the first thing I hear,
someone calls her name
and it's her mom.
I don't know why she lives with her mom.
(spooky music plays)
She's like 25. (low growling rumbles)
It was kind of weird to me, but
you know, ain't no problem with it.
It was just like, "Okay.
"Whatever, you live with your mama."
Could have told me at least.
She went to her moms, whatever, came back to us
and we went to the little living room
where she be chilling at.
So, we in there chillin', we vibin' for a little bit.
The girl she starts (glove snaps)
like straightening up,
like a little tidying up the place a little bit.
(gentle music plays)
But, I seen a picture.
(bell dongs)
Like, I had no clue.
I was oblivious to this until this point.
I seen her picture.
It's her and her husband like
(bell dongs)
it's literally a marriage picture.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, one of those pictures.
I'm like, damn, that's crazy.
This is how she's moving?
She's married?
She doesn't know I seen this picture,
but she goes to the picture and pushes it down,
like face down and I'm like, damn.
It's like that.
So, I go to the group chat immediately
with my two friends I'm with.
I had them like, "Yo', dog,
"I know y'all seen that picture that she just put down
"before she put it down.
"I know y'all seen what that picture consist of."
And, they both hit me back like, "Yeah, dog."
That's crazy.
So, me and them, we was on the same page.
We was on the same page but
I acted like I ain't seen it, so...
You know, we over here just chillin' and choppin' it up
and then, at this point,
the second friend comes in so now it's three girls.
The second friends comes in, you know,
she's super energetic,
super energetic, super hyped.
At first I'm like, "Okay, she's chillin'."
You know, she's hype, you know,
she just has hype energy to her like, all right, so, cool.
We talking, we choppin' it up
and she's like, she told me I looked familiar
and she's trying to figure where she knows me from.
Like me, I usually don't tell nobody
until they figure it out, more or less.
Even if they don't figure out,
I'll probably just go ahead and tell 'em, but
she's trying to figure it out and, you know,
she figured it out.
And then, after, you know, I was chopping it up
about this show and power and stuff like that,
she tells me she's telling me stuff that she's done.
She saying she's like an actor too.
She's in a TV show.
She's showing me pictures on set
and she's telling me story lines,
she's telling me about her characters.
(men snore)
And I'm like, I never heard about this show before,
so, you know, it was new to me.
I was like, "Oh, word, I never heard of this show before."
I'm going to be in tune, "I'm going to tune in."
And, she's like, "No, you should already be in tune,"
like, "I'm going to be famous.
"I'm going to be doing that."
Listen, I ain't sign up for this.
I ain't know you (laughs).
I ain't know you was going
to be wildin' out like this, but...
At this point, you know, shorty's bugging out.
This shit is getting a little uncomfortable.
You know, it was getting a little weird.
The vibe is, you know, a little off.
So, I had to come up with a little plan,
a little extraction plan.
We got to get up out of here.
(Micheal claps) You know?
So, I hit the bros in the group chat and said,
"Yo', gang, we got to get the hell up out of here.
"We have to go."
I told them, "Look,
"right now, tell 'em..."
I forgot what I told 'em that we had to do,
but it was very, it sounded very important.
And so, when you got to go, you got to go,
so we got to make a move.
We gotta let them know that you got
to do something real important.
(cat meows)
You can't be stopping and cryin',
so you gotta make sure that they understand
(cat growls)
that you got to do and get your thing done.
So, I told them I had to, I forgot what it was,
just a business obligation.
I got to get up out of here.
It was good seeing y'all but I had to get up out of there.
The energy was,
I don't know.
I needed to burn some sage in the whip after that.
Go in the car, burn some sage.
(men cough)
That was some crazy...
Yeah.
Always make sure you got that extraction planned,
ready to go on deck, because it's gonna come in a clutch.
Sometimes you just got to get out of there.
You know what I'm saying?
It was a crazy situation, you know?
She hit me up a few times and, obviously,
I had to ghost her, you know what I'm saying?
I couldn't...
What else am I going to say?
(icon pops) Your friends is weird.
You're married already. (phone swipes)
You know what I'm saying?
(phone pops) I don't know.
There's a lot going on.
I don't know where she's been.
I don't know what her angle with this is,
so I don't know.
There was no, there was no point in even talking to her.
But, the lesson I learned from this,
listen, you can't just be linkin'.
I'm saying, obviously, (fingers twinkle)
you know you meet a lot of people through Instagram.
You know, it's kind of like the new way
of the world now in a way,
but, you still gotta, you know,
you still gotta know who you meet sometimes.
You gotta really know-know people
because that one right there,
(Micheal exhales)
I don't know, man.
I got to tell you one thing,
it's not gonna happen again because
that was a crazy situation.
I ain't never been yelled at like that
for not knowing about a TV show.
And then, I ain't never seen a lady like
just have a marriage and just be so nonchalant
about hiding it like that.
I mean, she just was walking up like this,
like it was natural to her.
She was just cleaning up, cleaning up.
She sees the picture, she's just like.
It's like it was just all smooth in motion
and I'm like, damn.
But, shit, shout out to her and her marriage.
(bridal music plays)
I hope, you know, (man grunts)
it's still going strong.
I don't know what the stage,
(woman smooches)
like, you know, what they was going through at that time.
Hopefully, it wasn't nothing too serious.
(Micheal exhales)
Shout out to them being married.
God bless.
(Micheal laughs)
(spooky music plays)
(thunder crashes)
- So, when I go out to eat with a guy,
I like to test him a little bit.
Order a nice little bottle of Dom Perignon, extra bubbly
and he ordered water.
I was like, "What you about to eat?
"You not going to eat nothing?
"You not hungry right now?"
He's like, "Nah, I'm not hungry.
"I ate something before I came here."
First of all, when somebody order tap water,
(alarm buzzes)
I automatically know something going on.
Probably going to take it to a little, you know,
how we going be able to date
because I just don't know.
I could just, it just wasn't it.
(spooky music plays)
(thunder crashes)
(upbeat music plays)