I love Mexican food, I love Mexican people
I, uh
I don’t know what it is, I think we have a connection
I don’t know, South Africans and Mexicans
people from s#*t-hole countries, we have this thing
I still cant believe the things Donald Trump says
He's such a
for me Donald Trump is an emotional paradox, I'm not gonna lie
you know logically I can proses him, emotionally I struggle
on the one hand I will admit, I wake up many days
terrified at the notion that he's President
of the most powerful nation in the world.
but I also must admit I wake up many days
knowing he's going to make me laugh
yeah there's terror and there's joy, and I don’t know how to feel.
and you know what it feels like sometimes, it feels like
there's a giant asteroid headed towards the earth
but it's shaped like a penis
like, I think I'm gonna die
but I know I'm gonna laugh
cause you just look at everything that he does
the world we now live in because of him
like you realize, we're living through history
you know, this will never happen in our lifetime again
we're living through a time
when we are all learning about the Presidency
at the same time as the President, that's never happened
how wild is that concept?
you wake up everyday reading the news
and you are like wow, I didn't know that
and somewhere at that exact same moment
he's reading the same news going wow, me too
and nobody knows where it's going to lead
nobody knows what he's going to do
all we know is that he wants his wall
he wants his wall
Donald Trump wants his wall
he needs 25 billion dollars, the last time he asked
he needs it from American taxpayers
because Mexico is smart
that fell apart real quick
I remember how confident he was at the rally's
people cheering for him, he was like
"Folks
we are gonna build
a wall
we're gonna build a wall folks
who's gonna pay?
Mexico!"
and Mexico was like, "We ain’t paying for shit man
We might build it but we ain’t paying for it man.
and I don’t know if you have been following the journey of the wall
but it's probably the best comedy on TV, right
because now they've started building prototypes of the wall at the border
because Donald Trump said he wants them to test the wall first
I don’t know how you do that
you know just like, try again
and because this is the prototypes
Donald Trump now has specifications for the wall
he now says he wants the wall to be made out of concrete
but he also needs the wall to be see-through
alright?
and the reason the President wants the wall to be see-through
is because he says he's afraid
that drug dealers from Mexico are gonna shoot bags of drugs over the wall
and it's gonna hit Americans on the head as they walk by
so he needs the wall to be see-through
so that Americans can see the drugs coming
and catch it.
now I'm not gonna lie, I don’t know what a see-through wall is
but at this point I'm just worried
that a contractor is going to come along and trick the President
he's gonna take him to the border and be like
"there it is Mr. Trump
your invisible wall"
and just to make sure he buy's it
he's going to hire a troop of Mexican mimes that will be like
"Oh my God, you cant get through it"
it works!
work the mind of Donald Trump
oh, the other idea he had for the wall
was he said America should build the wall out of solar panels
that's what he said
he said America should build the wall out of solar panels
because that way the wall would generate electricity
and pay for it self.
Now I'm not gonna lie, that's a good idea
it's a good idea
unless you know anything about solar panels or the sun or walls
because the problem with that idea is that the sun is up
yeah, we all agree on that. We still on the same page there?
yeah the sun is up, right?
a solar panel wall is not going to work
because a wall is like this
so technically it's facing down
so unless you have like a really swaggy sun
that's like, "Yeah, I shine real low B"
it's not gonna work for you.
the only way it works is if your border solar panel
and lean it at an angle to get the sun's rays
but if you do that, you've just created a giant ramp
for Mexicans to shoot into America
just like, "Oh rale!"
the mind of Donald J Trump.
the J stands for Jasoes, a lot of people don’t know that
a lot of self loathing going on there
and he's always going after someone, right
he's always going after someone
if it's not Mexicans it's Muslims
if it's not Muslims it's Africans from shit-hole countries.
that one was my favourite personally
because I'm an African and I've shat in a hole
I also liked it because people came up to me and asked me questions
there was one man that came up to me after a show
really concerned, he was like
"Trevor, hey can I ask you a question?"
I said yeah, go ahead my friend
he said, "Trevor I just wanted to know
when Donald Trump says all these
these horrible racist things, do you sometimes just wanna
you know, pack it up and leave America
go back to South Africa and escape all this racism?"
I said, my friend
you don’t go to South Africa to escape racism
that's where you go to stock up
you kidding me, that's the one thing that reminds me of home
racism out here
because we've got tons of racism in South Africa
and don’t get me wrong, it's gotten a lot better
when I was growing up, we had apartheid
and you know apartheid was basically the best racism in the world
I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say that
now you going to feel bad and be like "our racism was the best"
no it wasn’t, it was good but not the best
and I experienced a bunch of racism
and everyone did, I didn’t feel like it was a bad thing
mostly because of my family
you know my mother is a black woman, Xhosa woman
my father a Swiss from Switzerland
and them being a couple was against the law
and that was a problem for us, living together
and so we experienced a ton of racism
and in case you're wondering, yes
Xhosa is one of the languages with the clicks in it
(speaking Xhosa)
but not like in American movies, just so you know
Yeah, I’ve seen those movies where they have Africans and they're like
(clicking)
that's not a language
Yeah even we watch those movies and we're like
"I wonder what they are saying
where are they from?"
"I think they're from Cleveland."