we're the Arabs that tonight Arabs in
the house where are you all
strategically placed I see
that's no accident huh all in the center
this way we will go boom in the middle
over everything
what kind of Arab are you bro Moroccan
and Iraq just just Iraq so not Moroccan
you're Iraqi I've been to Iraq obviously
to perform but obviously not for you
know the Iraqis it's not a very you know
comedy filled place you know it's it's
not like there's comedy clubs in Iraq
you know like welcome to Saddam's gee ha
ha ha ha Hut you know it's not like our
comedy is the bomb
what just explode with laughter huh so
your Iraqi what are you guys over there
cool it it's how do you is it Saudi or
Stalin because I did shows in Bahrain
once and there was Saudi people in the
audience and I go oh were you from the
guy goes boo and I thought he hiccup
there something was he was saying Saudi
I things like sound you know but like I
go what did you do and I go what the
[ __ ] and I ask somebody after go why
does he sing saalu B and they go that is
actually the correct way of saying the
Saudi it's how who do I go say do i
drive an Audi or an Audi what right what
am i driving I always have fun in the
Middle East I was have a good time
why my white friends have you gone to
the Middle East at all no you should go
check it out I like that you shaved your
head but you kept a unibrow that's very
cool I like
that's pretty insane look at that thing
look at that that's well what's going
bold but if I had hair would come down
to here wouldn't it hit you should go
check out the Middle East it's not at
all how the media makes the Middle East
seem it's that you watch the news
especially the North American news they
have some sort of hard-on for the Arabs
and that whenever they show you Arab
people on the news they're always they
make them look crazy that's the thing
don't they when you watch the news in it
you watch like CNN don't you get mad
they just make Arabs look like they're
exploding every five minutes you know I
mean that they make it look like they're
walking around going yes I'm going
shopping what are you going to do oh I'm
going to blow up okay well I'll see you
in paradise okay hey save me a virgin
I'm kidding I'm kidding you you and then
you earned them they're yours you go to
the Middle East very friendly people I
always have fun with the Arabs are there
they're actually very nice they're their
riches [ __ ] the ones I've seen that and
you know what I'm talking about Saudi
guy he's like I know I'm very rich it's
okay but and like Arab rich brown guy
mmm rich very different than anybody
else's rich I may be considered American
rich that's cute too Arabs like American
rich I have ten million dollars Arab
rich I don't know which puns I put the
ten million dollars in I don't oh there
are maybe in the wash I find it one day
I live
they're rich is different they keep
trying to sell us different places on
the news to the king they they like [ __ ]
all over the Middle East but then
they'll keep trying to sell Dubai to us
you know I mean you're Indian right
yeah the don't clap for Dubai then
because first of all they won't let you
have citizenship even if you're born
there second of all they treat us like
[ __ ] listen let's be honest you go to
the Middle East Indians are the Mexicans
of the Middle East that's what we are we
we build everything for them over there
all those fancy buildings they have we
[ __ ] built and I don't know what part
of India they went to to find these
Indians but I have never seen them
before I've been to India
north-south-east-west the whole place
and I never saw these Indians they
bought an entire race of Indians that
doesn't exist in India anymore I swear
to god I'm do bi I went to a
construction site little Indian like
this big full-grown men not midgets just
short and squatty and I was like where
did you find them we bought all of them
with they were very cheap we took how
much give me the whole race I'll take it
I have something I need bid so and and
I'm not making this up I went to a
construction site a full-on proper
construction site with cranes and
tractors and there's these little Indian
guys I sort of got the guys wearing a
wife-beater a tank top boxer shorts
flip-flops and a hardhat
I go you got a hard hat where's your
steel-toe boots he goes you see we could
only have one or the other I have ten
toes I only have one head protect your
head
[Applause]
[Music]