I'm not sure who needs to hear this right now.
But this is really important for guys to know, especially if they are feeling lost, if they're
feeling depressed, if they're feeling like they're struggling with this whole dating
thing.
My advice to you is very simple.
And this is really for those people, but this is for everybody.
The idea here is you want to focus on yourself and not so much women.
What do I mean by this?
What I mean is, a lot of guys that go into this dating advice realm, they find Tripp
Advice, they find PUA stuff.
They find all this stuff to get the advice and the answers and the techniques and the
tricks and the lines and the conversation starters, etc. for women and for dating.
But what they don't realize... and this is completely normal.
I didn't know this either.
This is not something you're supposed to know.
But you're watching this video now, so here you are.
If you want to make true changes in your dating life and you want to be a more attractive
version of yourself and you want to get the woman that you want or you want to get that
one girl who you're really interested in, a lot of it is going to come down to focusing
and making changes on you and yourself and working on a lot of the personal development
aspects and working on building your self-esteem.
If you're a guy that feels overwhelmed by all the information out there.
Or maybe you've been going out and you've been getting rejected over and over again.
You're not getting dates.
That's okay.
Focus on yourself.
Because that's going to be one of the best things you could do anyway.
Focusing on you growing as a person, focusing on your life and your lifestyle.
What does that mean like focusing on yourself?
You're not going to sit down and look in the mirror all day or just look at yourself all
day.
You're gonna do something.
Yes, you're just not gonna be focusing on women.
You're gonna be focusing on diet and health.
You're gonna be focusing on your career, your work, your studies, your school.
You're gonna be focusing on your friend group and your hobbies and the extracurricular activities
that you do.
Your whole life.
We're just going to leave out the relationships and girl thing for a second.
That's all we're gonna do.
We're gonna focus on the self.
When I'm working with clients and we dive deep and we figure out what's going on with
them, we figure out what some of their issues are... some of the time, it's not about going
out and approaching as many women as possible.
And it's not about meeting women online and matching with as many women as possible.
But it's really about taking a step back and looking at your life and your lifestyle and
seeing what you can do with that first.
Because at the end of the day, once you work on that part, that's going to make you the
most attractive version anyways.
Women want to be with a man who at least has his life together.
If you don't have your money and finances in order (I'm not saying being rich) but at
least having that in order.
If you're living at home with your parents, if you're not focusing on your health and
you have, I don't know, sickness all the time, your immune system is shot, you're completely
overweight.
Or maybe you're just a guy who's feeling sluggish or low energy all the time.
This is the stuff that needs to be worked on.
You need to be paying attention to your personal habits and the things that are going on in
your life.
Because once we fix these things, then you're going to feel more confident, you're going
to feel like, now women can be this awesome addition to my life instead of being the thing
that fills the hole in my life.
Because that's what a lot of guys do, especially when they find this kind of stuff.
And I will admit what was it?
I don't know... 13, 14 years ago, when I got into this stuff and I was looking up dating
advice online just like you are.
I didn't know it at the time.
But I was also trying to figure out a way to be liked, be adored, be loved, have girls
like me.
Because I didn't have my life together.
I didn't know... and it's okay.
I was young.
Of course a lot of guys in their early 20's don't know that stuff.
But either way it doesn't matter.
That was me.
I didn't know where I was going, what my career was going to be, I wasn't in the best of shape
or health.
I didn't have the most attractive lifestyle.
So why should a woman want to be part of that?
If you're feeling a little bit burnt out, if you're feeling a little bit like maybe
this is not the time for me to be focusing on this.
By the way, don't make this as an excuse.
Don't just go away from dating advice because you're just scared of rejection, scared to
put your best foot forward.
But if you feel like maybe this isn't the right time, I need to focus a little bit on
myself.
That's okay.
Do that.
Go back to you because that's stuff you're gonna have to work on anyway.
Something I talk about in my book Magnetic is the idea of inner qualities and outer qualities
that make up you.
You have inner qualities, you have outer qualities.
Inner qualities are the behavioral traits.
And the outer qualities are the things not related to behavior.
That's going to be all the things I just listed.
That's going to be the way you look where you present yourself, your lifestyle, your
friends, your career, your health.
You have your behavior inner qualities and your outer qualities, all the other stuff.
That's what makes you up as the full you that you are.
Also in terms of attraction this is what helps build attraction with women.
Now mostly its inner qualities, it's the way you behave.
That's what has the biggest effect on attraction.
You also have the outer qualities too.
This stuff that you always should be working on.
Outer qualities are to be optimized.
And then inner qualities are to be honed in like really intense.
It's like you want to get those behaviors down so you can be your most confident self
so you're behaving in a way that's attractive to women which is basically not being needy,
not being too predictable and being able to spark tension and be able to do my whole TED
system that I always talk about.
That's something that is like okay, let's learn this, let's get this down.
And then your qualities are just to be optimized.
Because you can't necessarily make the biggest changes right now.
Like right now, you can't just make six figures.
You can't necessarily you can't change your looks (unless you get plastic surgery of course).
But those are things to be optimized over time and worked on over time and always be
worked on.
The inner qualities you work on, of course you'll maybe always be working on them, but
you're going to spend a lot of time right now working on those.
But what I'm saying here is it's okay if you need to shift over to the outer qualities
and just start working on that for a little bit longer.
That's totally fine.
Where you're just focusing a little bit more on yourself which indirectly does help you
with women.
But it's a little bit less directly on women and just focusing on that part.
I'm giving you that permission to do that.
So look at this as a holistic viewpoint.
So just looking at it holistically, looking at all the things and realizing that it's
a lot more than just pickup lines, opening lines and it's more to do with the holistic
aspect and all of you.