[splash]
- We'll be done with you in just a second.
- Great, thanks.
- [gasps]
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said about me.
- What's that?
- Oh, you gave me an A+, that's very nice.
- Oh, no, no, no, no, A positive,
that's your blood type.
- Aha, gotcha.
And that's a pretty good one, though?
[audience laughter]
- They're really not good or bad,
they just indicate inherited antigenic substances
on the surface of the red blood cells.
- Oh.
[audience laughter]
- So it's just normal?
- Yup.
- Hmm.
[audience laughter]
But they're all just normal, like,
there isn't one that's like, better than,
I don't know, for example, A positive?
- Yeah, no, they're all just normal.
- Mm.
[audience laughter]
- Well, actually, there is O negative,
which is considered one of the more important ones.
We call it the universal donor because they can give blood
to anyone.
- I'm actually an O negative.
- Oh, you are?
- Yeah.
[audience laughter]
- Well, thank you so much for coming in today,
we really appreciate your time and donation.
- Oh, no, it's my pleasure, really.
- Hmm.
[audience laughter]
- Okay.
[audience laughter]
You got me.
How do I become an O negative?
- You can't.
- What?
- Yeah.
- So this guy is just better than me,
is that what you're saying?
- No.
- Ohh!
[audience laughter]
You probably think you are so good!
[audience laughter]
"Look at me, everyone!
My name is--"
What's your name?
- Uh, Leo.
- [makes gagging sound]
"My name is Leo, Mr. Universal Donor,
and I'm here to save lives!"
Ugh!
What a hero.
- Sir, your donation is also extremely important to us.
- Don't patronize me.
[audience laughter]
- [sighs]
Just look at his smug little face.
[audience laughter]
I bet in his free time he volunteers
and helps orphan children.
- Yeah, I do, actually!
- You would!
[audience laughter]
And then there's me.
Little old me who apparently isn't good enough
to help anyone, am I?
Am I?
- All right, looks like you are done and free to go.
- Thanks.
- Okay, Mr. Speedy Guy.
Is this a race for you, huh?
You just had to go and make this a race?
- Well, I can go fast, okay?
I can go so fast, how's this for a race, bub?
Nurse: Sir, sir?
- Look how fast I'm goin' now, Leo!
- Sir, this is not good for your heart.
- [maniacal laughter]
Who's better now?!
- Sir, you need to stop!
- Stop what, stop winning?
[maniacal laughter]
I can't see.
[audience laughter]
- Oh.
He doesn't have a pulse.
- I can help.
[heavy breathing]
[grunting]
Come on!
- [gasps]
What happened, did-- did I win?
- You stopped breathing, but I saved your life.
[audience laughter]
- You would!
[audience laughter and applause]
Thank you for watching Studio O.
- Studio C.
- Right.
- Mm-hm.
- Um, and be sure to give this sketch an A+.
- Yeah, like and subscribe.
- And univerally donate this sketch
to everybody at-- in need.
- He means share.
- Hmm.
Why do you keep correcting me?
- Because you've lost a lot of blood.
- No, I haven't.
♪♪