Hey guys this is Bryan with BAAM Being anxious ain't just me and today we want to talk about
shame.
So what is shame?
Shame according to the Webster dictionary is any feeling, guilt, regret, or shamefulness.
And this is a very touchy subject because I went through a lot of shame through my high
school career and basically what I want to focus on is the definition Olivia Fox Cabane
had on her book the Charisma Myth a highly recommended book if you ever wanted to get
rid of your anxiety and become a very charismatic person.
So what does she say about shame?
Shame is anything that has to do with this feeling of you don't belong unworthy of love
or are unloved in general and that's a shame in itself and during these developmental stages
we are trying to figure out who we are and this is very crucial and it is very important
because during this time we are trying to figure out who we are and this actually facilitates
our learning and cognitive development throughout our entire lives.
So what can we do about it.
So we have different methods and One probably the most important is self love you have to
wake up in the morning and actually look at that person if your are autistic if you have
some craziness if you have some handicapped tendencies love that process.
you have to love the process you are going through and don't worry about everyone else
you have to worry about yourself you are your own person you have you love that person when
you wake up when you come home back from work, school.
When you go to sleep before you brush your teeth or after you brush your teeth.
Stop being shameful stop being shameful that you like that girl in your class because I
know I did I had that problem all my life and honestly just because of that I will make
a video on that how to survive high school.
and that will be on a different episode.
Also don't be shameful of your hobbies your tendencies because they're abnormal or not
the norm.
Because everyone wants to follow the norm and that want to do the status quo and do
the thing that is consistent at all times.
and don't do that.
Why?
because everyone wants to be normal but what is normal?
No one really knows.
We all are abnormal, there is this uncertainty and absurdity in life.
and we have to actually accept that.
You have to have some acceptance.
And that's another thing you have to learn from once you self-love you are accepting
yourself.
Another thing is questioning why?
Why am I feeling this way?
why do I like this person?
Why am I trying to please this person?
Why do I like that girl?
Why do I love you? or Why even try to wake up in the morning.
Some people cant even do that some people are very selfish to themselves, they don't
want to share themselves with others.
Some people are selfless and they still have shame.
And its shame in itself.
So you go through your life trying to figure out who you are and its a life journey and
you should always enjoy it, but with this shame you will never fulfilled you always
feel like something is holding you back like you are never really true to yourself.
you have to enjoy the life process.
This is something you always will have in the back of your mind that inner critic, that
ego, we have a critic and this shamefulness stops us from actually reaching our goals.
We wake up in the morning and we cant really do what we really want to do because we feel
like someone is going to judge us.
And really where the biggest judgment that we have is of ourselves and its not really
from other people because what the Qur'an really says is don't worry about what other
people will say don't worry about what others think, and just like the bible says why do
you see the spec in your brother's eyes and not the log in yours.
You got to follow a lot of these philosophies and that's when the question comes back philosophers
question, teachers question, definitely question your teachers even the Buddha said question
me. and you should question me.
Feel free write your comments down below if you have any questions about life or any way
that you can feel less anxiety feel free I have ton of experience working on myself and
I would love to actually explore different topics as well as different things that I
can learn myself because I am always trying to learn so alright guys I'm out and about
what I just talked about, Peace!