I have terminal cancer I actually may
never go anywhere again for the rest of
my life and I don't even know if I've
got 12 weeks to live so up until the
corona virus reared its ugly head
I've got plums not big buns little buns
work
[Music]
hello my name's Lynn I live in
Birmingham and I have terminal cancer
if I get coronavirus I am going to put
I'm necessarily going to put other
people at risk if I get coronavirus I
won't be able to take my children away
from me I'll probably be admitted to
hospital and I'll be taking a resource
away that someone else could quite
probably make better use of so in terms
of my daily life my that's no limited to
what I can do inside my own four walls
and to some extent that means that I
actually may never go anywhere again for
the rest of my life because if I have to
self isolate I'm going to have to stay
here and I don't even know if I've got
12 weeks to live
I was told to expect a life expectancy
of around 18 months to two years we're
actually coming up to the 18-month time
now so I am guessing I have very little
time to live that was obviously quite
difficult to hear but I had my children
with me and they have supported me
supported me through this throughout
they're very strong children and they've
continued to support me so up until the
coronavirus reared its ugly head
I've got plums not big ones little ones
such as one that I was able to see
through and that was I had a short a
long weekend trip with my children to
Somerset and that was lovely
following that I had plans to go away
somewhere with my two sisters again just
to all weekend somewhere in the UK maybe
an air B&B
nothing extravagant but just the
opportunity to go out and about and
spend some quality time with them but of
course now all that has had to come to a
sticky end I've told my children to stay
away this week I did see the one with
this day in spite of the advice although
I'm led to believe that the government
are seeing cases of people with terminal
illness slightly differently but again I
don't want to expose other people I
don't to be completely selfish and
expose other people on the other hand I
know my children want to see me and
that's completely understandable I want
to see them too so not being able to go
out obviously has curtailed completely
everything that I might have been doing
even just a trip to the shops to have a
wander on and see what's so it is
tempting to say blow it I'm going on it
anyway
something's gonna get me why should I
care but I should care because of other
people so I do have to try and being
responsible I've made a decision and and
how to talk to myself and said okay
don't view this as the next 12 weeks
that you can't handle 12 weeks all in
one go what you must do is these in
terms of the next two or three days and
because signs like to do RT crafty
things and I'm working on something at
the moment so okay I'll work on the deku
polish picture that I'm making just now
and that's going to take me another two
or three days probably and then I'll
look at some other kind of activity that
will keep me occupied for another two or
three three or four days and if I try
and break it up into those kind of
chunks I'll be able to manage better and
I will manage better but this latest
news to say that we're in lockdown has
quite honestly kicked my confidence the
thing I'm working on at the moment is a
de cooperage picture you cut her little
bits of it
and stick them on using silicon which
allows them to form a 3d image it's very
fiddly very time-consuming but it does
keep you mind occupied and I've found
that I really enjoy a lot and it's
something that I can get lost in and
even nowadays even now under the current
circumstances it's something I can still
do couple of months ago my GP referred
me to the local Marie Curie nurses and
their help and support has been fabulous
before the corona virus we also my
children and I also visited the local
hospice because that's where I've
decided I'd like my final days if that's
at all possible and it is a magnificent
resource it's very calm and quiet and
peaceful but there's still life there
and it's a lovely place and that is
where I would like if I can to in my
days again coronavirus might put paid to
all of that and maybe that won't be
possible where Disney it's difficult not
to feel cross when I see that people are
launching the rules and going out and
about but their normal everyday business
instead of observing the advice we've
been given it's difficult not to be
angry but I'm trying not to because to
me that's a waste of emotional energy I
have enough to worry about as it is I
think one of the lessons we should learn
from the coronavirus situation but
throughout life in general is to be kind
to each other to think about each other
to consider other people and do what we
can to help whenever we can
I found since I had cancer
having cancer is but I found the
kindness of strangers people who will
reach out to you and help you or offer
you support they'll do that just because
they can not for any other reason and I
think that's wonderful
my children are fantastic and I've got
two absolutely wonderful sisters in
addition to which I've got a large
extended family and lots of really good
friends and without them I don't think I
would have got this far it's a bit like
having a pick a mix if I'm having a bad
day in one respect I know I can talk to
person a but if there's something else
bothering me in another respect I might
talk to person B and they might pick a
mix and I love more
you