- Do I want to pay $75 for a burrito, maybe I do.
- But will that burrito last for six weeks?
(indistinct chatter)
- This is my time.
- [Michael] He's right. - Okay.
- [Michael] What's up guys, welcome to Hot Take.
The show where we have smart people
argue about really absurd things.
Every week we give our defendant a fresh hot take
that they have to defend against our prosecution.
- Spread the love.
I don't need to pay for that, I am on that!
(indistinct chatter)
- [Michael] Both teams compete for amazing prizes,
and there are a few curve balls along the way.
The defendant has a whole week to prepare their argument
while our prosecution comes in completely blind.
Can our defendant maintain their questionable hot take
or will our prosecution poke holes in their defense?
- It's accepting reality.
- [Dan] I thought that was the question.
- [Michael] Let's find out on Hot Take.
(upbeat music)
Hey, what's up everyone?
Welcome back to Hot Take.
This is the show where clever people
argue about unclever things.
I'm Michael Burns, your host.
Here's how things work.
We have a prosecution over here.
Their job today is to poke holes in the argument
being made by our defendant.
But they have no idea what it is,
they have not been able to prepare,
and he is going to try to win favor of who?
Me, I get to decide who wins.
Okay, so let's introduce our prosecution
to get you ready for it.
We have Dan Hodapp.
We have Brittnay Johnston.
We have Ashton Herrild.
You're all looking calm and confident today.
I like it, that's what I like to see.
Somebody who also looks like something is James Larson,
who is today's defendant.
James, how are you today?
- I'm fantastic.
- How are you feeling going into this?
- Super.
- Now James isn't just feeling super 'cause he looks great,
it's because he knows there is a prize.
And for the first time ever, this is true by the way,
what I'm about to say is true,
I don't know what this prize is.
Is it her again?
Is this a different head?
Why don't we keep getting heads?
Is this Elizabeth Taylor?
It says ET number one.
Oh, I don't like that there's stuff inside of it.
This is the head of Elizabeth Taylor.
I presume that they made this cast of her
to figure out how to do makeup on a Hollywood set.
This is Elizabeth, oh there's a crack in her skull.
I feel like I'm on- - Anatomically correct.
- A murder show. - That's fascinating.
- Look at this, there's a crack in the skull.
(ominous music)
Let's find out what we're talking about today.
So James, what is the hot take
that you will be defending to the prosecution today?
- Ladies, gentlemen, America and her allies abroad,
I am here today to talk about
how haircuts are an unequivocal scam.
The problem is persistent,
it is pervasive, and frankly it is perverse.
- You came in strong there and I like it.
Here's how it works from here on out,
just in case anyone doesn't know,
the prosecution now gets to start off
by asking questions of our defendant.
He has 60 seconds to respond to each of these questions.
We have a couple little tricks along the way as well,
but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it, kids.
So prosecution, who wants to get us started today?
Who has a question for James Larson.
- Although it may be implied,
it's unspecified that we're talking about hair
on the tops of our heads.
So I will say for applications such as Olympic swimming,
for matting, for health reasons, for surgery,
cutting hair has an application.
How do you say that it is an unequivocal scam
to cut hair off of the-
- This is a great first question.
I think it's a good defining our terms question.
James, you have 60 seconds now.
- I'm glad you asked that.
First, let me say,
I'm not talking about lowercase H haircut,
the cutting of hair on top of your head.
What I'm talking about is capital H Haircut,
the economy behind it,
and frankly, the price gouging that's going on
in this country and abroad when you go to a salon,
a barbershop and you pay for it.
- So we now know just to be clear on our terms here,
we are discussing getting hair cut
at a salon, a barber, a spa,
and you're exchanging money for that,
and that's the capital H. - Correct.
- Great, capital H Haircuts, guys.
- I'm not good at sewing
so I take my clothes to a tailor to get fixed.
Not everybody is good at cutting their hair
yet need a haircut.
What are they supposed to do if they are not going
to get a capital H Haircut?
- Dan, I wish you would believe in yourself like I do.
Anybody can cut their own hair.
You do?
Well, there we go, thank you.
- Wow Dan, you shouldn't let us know that,
look at this- - [Dan] I know.
- [Michael] It's a great haircut too.
- I'll keep going on this,
you may not personally be able to cut your own hair,
but I bet you have a close relationship with someone
who could cut your hair.
Frankly, you could also just grow it out.
There's a system in place
that makes everyone think they need to get a haircut.
You think, "I need to look a certain way."
You think, "I'm due for a haircut."
Who's saying that?
Who's telling you that?
- Just a question, once again, objective, blah, blah, blah.
When's the last time you got a haircut?
- February, 2020.
And I don't know, but shortly thereafter (scoffs).
I didn't say it, I'm just saying, you know?
- And just to preface this with
I'm a person who likes getting their hair cut.
I have a lot of hair, I like when somebody,
I like the whole process of it.
I like getting my hair washed,
I like someone else brushing it,
I liked them cutting it and I like them then blow drying it.
And to me that is a valuable service.
You say haircuts are a scam.
I think it's worth money to pay someone to do that.
Do you think hairstylists...
Do they not provide a service worth paying for?
- Let me say, I think they're all great people.
I think they do provide a service.
I think anyone who wants to get a haircut
should get a haircut,
but they should be aware of what's going on.
I think it's time to go to the slide so we can-
- [Michael] Power-Up!
The Power-Up is when the defendant
gets to show a PowerPoint presentation
to further solidify their argument.
- This photo was taken yesterday.
Free blowout, $75.
Is that not price gouging?
Did you walk in for your free blowout
and then at the end have to pay $75?
I don't know.
You're onboarded onto a subscription model that frankly
you don't even know you're a part of.
Netflix, you can cancel.
They make it difficult, but you can do it.
You can't cancel getting a haircut at a salon
because you don't even realize you're signed up.
There's a tiered pricing model that's completely evil.
You'll see women on average spend $44 on a haircut.
Men spend 28, is that fair?
I don't think so.
Recently I saw a buzz cut, $28 at my local barbershop.
Short cut, $31 at my local barbershop.
Long cut, $44 at my local barbershop.
All they have to really do is move the scissors up and down.
What is this?
What are with these charges?
- I just wanna say, if you're a hair professional,
we really like having you on this channel.
Subscribe and like.
(ominous music)
- I realize I'm putting a target on my back.
Luckily, it's gonna be obscured with my long hair.
So I'm willing to say these things
so that you can listen to them, okay?
Opportunity costs.
Instead of your $75 free blow out,
what can you do with that?
But let me tell you this.
If you'd invested in something like Bitcoin maybe
at the start of the year,
that $75 will be worth $225.
Let's have a brief timeline here-
- Wow.
- Yeah, okay.
There's a direct correlation between the decline in hat use
and the incline in haircuts, okay.
Let's go back.
People think about in the early in the 19th century,
everybody was wearing a hat, right?
Look at old photos, hats.
What happened?
Cars, cars came into the world.
They came into the United States.
People used to walk outside, head exposed to the elements.
They couldn't do it, they had hats on.
They riding a horse drawn carriage, exposed to the elements.
Suddenly cars, roof,
your hat won't fit inside the car, okay?
The death knell to hats.
Great Depression, or as I like to say, hats last hurrah.
Then you'll see shortly thereafter,
the Great Depression led to the new,
the signing of the New Deal.
Look at this.
FDR signing a part of the New Deal right here.
Notice anything?
No hats, clean cut haircuts.
1964, Beatlemania.
Let your hair grow, everyone started to do it.
A few years later, '67 Summer of Love.
'69 Woodstock, hippie hair, long hair, let it go.
You don't need to cut it.
And then what happened?
People weren't making money.
GDP was an issue.
United States went off the gold standard.
High demand for dollars abroad.
Trade deficit soared.
So what happened?
They had to monetize it via haircuts.
1970s, disco haircuts.
Hair gets bigger, they try and tame what was going on
in the hippie movement.
1980s, bigger, more hair, ooh.
1990s, hair gets wetter.
They start frosting tips.
They bring color into the equation.
2000s, color takes over, spiky hair, ree.
Now where we are today?
People are getting all types of haircuts, all the time,
paying tons of money for their free blowouts for $75.
A haircut is a diminishing asset, okay?
Right here you'll see the Pointer Weindexter Curve
shows you the decay of a haircut.
In red we have bad, in green we have good.
You'll see often
it takes a little time for a haircut to mature.
Frankly, I think your hair is healing from the haircut
and it's actually getting better.
Then you have a sharp decline,
but then eventually you get to a point where it levels out
and you no longer would need to get a hair.
- Just wondering, if you're watching this right now,
the sources, empirical evidence from a lived,
from a life lived, empirical evidence from a life lived.
- And frankly, let's go back to history.
There are certain people who let it go wild.
Jesus, he couldn't get a haircut,
he was too busy getting shit done.
Einstein, he didn't get a haircut,
he was too busy solving science.
And look over here, throughout time,
authoritarian rule haircuts.
Kim Jong-un forces his citizens to get his own haircut.
That's the worst form of oppression I've ever heard of.
Adolf Hitler, look at that guy, he got a bunch of haircuts.
- I don't know what to say.
We're on a show, I guess.
We gotta check in real quick.
James, in 50 words or less,
how do you feel like it's going for you?
- It's going well. - Great. Prosecution?
- We've- - Really good.
- We feel excited. - [Michael] Okay.
- We're thrilled. - Well you know what?
Just get at him.
There's nothing other than you ask some questions now.
- My barber, I have an intimate relationship
with each of my barbers.
I think it's a great thing to sit down in a chair,
have somebody who knows you and take care of you.
And I believe to pay those professionals, you know,
a wage that makes it worth their time.
How can that be a scam
if I'm paying for something that is important to me?
And keeping up with trends,
you said that they don't age well.
Keeping up with trends
and my personal identity and presentation.
How is that a scam if I get so much out of it.
- First and foremost, like I said,
if you wanna get a haircut, go ahead.
But you should be aware of what's behind that price.
Macroeconomic factors that are involved,
the trade deficit is declining, okay?
What's going on here is fewer goods
are being produced on shore,
we're importing goods, exporting dollars.
And what do we need to do
in order to have the U.S. economy not collapse?
We need to have more services, right?
So is the price of your haircut a natural price?
Or are the forces at play from big haircut
dictating that you must pay more for hair
to be cut at a salon, otherwise U.S. economy will crumble?
And I say that is something
that is not a good price that you should enjoy to pay.
If you wanna go have a transactional relationship, hang out,
small talk with the barber, that's fine.
If you wanna pay him, that's fine.
Well you should realize why are you paying so much.
- [Michael] Time's up.
- Can you put a price on peace?
Because as you know, the person in on this set
who's probably paid the most amount of money
to get their hair done,
I like going in, I like feeling taken care of,
and you have it in your argument
that it's superficial to wanna look good.
I am superficial, okay.
I like looking good.
I wanna be a little materialistic sometimes
or vain or whatever.
And that brings me peace, and that's worth money to me.
- The question is, do you want peace?
I've said from the beginning,
if you wanna get a haircut, go for it.
But realize what you're doing here.
You're paying for something
that frankly you could do yourself.
You could have a friendship with someone.
You could hang out with them.
They could cut your hair.
You could get a $75 free blowout at home for free.
The fact that you wanna go and pay for it, that's fine.
But realize what's going on there.
I may want some a medicine, right?
I need medicine, give it to me.
But the prices are high, right?
Price gouging.
You may want to participate in the economy
but you need to realize that you are being screwed.
- A final question.
You can mix this with the Power-Up.
- Okay, I'll mix it with the Power-Up, yes.
(intense music) (indistinct chatter)
- I'm pissed off, I'm angry, I'm not.
- You obviously do not believe in getting haircuts
because they are a scam.
You can say, you say it is okay for other people
to get haircuts, just as long as you do know
that they are a scam.
My question to you is when was the last time
you ate in a restaurant?
Because that is also something
you could absolutely do yourself.
And I would say that's just as ridiculous
as of a scam as getting a haircut.
So when was the last time that you ate a meal out?
- Last time I ate a meal out was yesterday.
I have no issues with it.
- What you have?
- I had a burrito. - Carnitas?
It was carne, it was delicious.
- Whoa. - Sauces on there too.
- Let him, keep him talking.
- Okay, the question is food.
There's no problem with going out, eating out, right?
But if I'm going out and I'm getting a burrito
and that burrito is $75, I'm not gonna get it, okay?
Because I'm gonna realize, I don't want that.
Yes, I could make it at home.
Do I want to pay $75 for a burrito?
Maybe I do.
- But will that burrito last for six weeks?
(indistinct chatter)
- [James] Here a simple question.
- You don't touch, you don't touch her.
- I don't want her to look at me.
- She's gonna to turn around-
- Stop, just, she's gonna eventually get to you.
- This is my time.
- He's right.
- Ask anybody, how much did you pay for your last haircut?
The answer is invariably too much.
- And what else for 46 seconds?
- Why do I go to a restaurant?
I like restaurants.
I have no issue with restaurants.
But restaurants haven't been forced down my throat
since the United States went off the gold standard,
since the trade deficits have soared,
and we've needed to keep the service sector propped up.
(giggling)
You know what?
I'll go get a haircut if I want to, but frankly,
I don't want to
because there are better things
that I could be doing with my time
which I am currently participating in.
I am wig farming at the moment.
I am hedging my bet against in case I go bald,
I'll have something there.
If I don't go bald, I'll be growing wigs from here on out
that I can give to people for free.
Spread the love.
I don't need to pay for that, I am that!
- This has been tough and here's why it's been tough.
Haircuts sound fun.
Both Ashton and Brittnay said things
that I found to be really powerful.
Ashton talked about sometimes you go to get a haircut
and it's not about the haircut,
it's about that time to connect with another human,
to participate in your community,
to to feel like there's someone who's not gonna judge you,
but it's going to listen, you know?
Brittnay brings up this important point that like,
it's okay to feel good about what you do for yourself.
That could be skincare, it could be haircare.
If it makes you feel good, it's not bad.
At the same time,
I saw a presentation today that connected some dots.
You know, we start, we start with the Great Depression,
we got up through Kim Yong, was it il or un?
Which one was it? - That was an un.
- And then most importantly,
there's the fact that I've experienced this myself.
I, for various reasons have chosen to get haircuts before,
I just asked for a buzz cut.
I say, take it all off.
They charge me an amount
that is the same amount they would charge me
if I had four inches of hair and wanted to get a styled cut.
Literally all they do is they take the clippers
and they run them over the head 'cause I choose to do that.
Sorry, James gets Elizabeth, it's hard-
- And I'm gonna use it!
- Hairstylists provide valuable work.
- [Michael] James Larson, thank you so much
for coming through today, for dressing nice,
and for winning the head of Elizabeth Taylor.
Ashton Herrild, thank you so much for being here.
You were honest, you asked really good questions.
I gotta, you guys were so close.
This was the closest so far in terms of decision-making.
I don't know if that makes it better or worse.
Brittnay, Dan, with that haircut,
I still can't believe you did that yourself.
- I'm kinda regretting that-
- You should've kept it to yourself.
- Do you go scissors or clippers or both?
- Clippers. - Guys, ladies and gentlemen.
- You can do that too, you can do that too.
- [Michael] I've been Michael Burns.
This is Hot Take.
I'm a hat guy 'cause I choose it.
We'll see you next time.
(appluading) (upbeat music)