-Former President Trump secretly tested positive for COVID
before coming into contact with more than 500 people,
including Joe Biden, at their first debate.
Meanwhile, Republicans and Fox News
are suggesting a new variant
of the coronavirus is a liberal hoax.
For more on this, it's time for A Closer Look.
♪♪
Despite receding to his hideout in Mar-a-Lago,
where he's occasionally glimpsed giving horrible toasts
on blurry cell phone footage
like a Florida swamp ghost who haunts weddings.
Donald Trump remains under multiple serious investigations.
There's the investigation into his election meddling
in Atlanta, the investigation
of his business in New York,
and the congressional investigation
of the insurrection he stoked on January 6th.
Plus, I don't know, like, a dozen other investigations
I've stopped keeping track of.
He's probably still got a pending case
over the time he left Air Force One
parked next to a fire hydrant in Times Square.
[Imitating Trump] Officer, I was just running in real quick
to grab some M&Ms from the M&M Store.
We love -- We love M&Ms, don't we, folks?
We love them.
They've got your red one, the nervous orange one.
and of course, the sexy --
the sexy green M&M.
Women want to be her and men -- men want to be with her.
I met her backstage in '86, Jon Bovi concert.
I said, Jon Bovi. I meant Bon Jovi.
I flubbed it. I flubbed it.
You know, there's one thing we know about the Donald --
I admit when I made a mistake.
When I get it wrong, I own up right away.
I met her at a Bon Jovi concert.
[Normally] And yet, even with those various...
[laughing] investigations intensifying,
Trump is still freely confessing
to crimes from past investigations.
Over the weekend, he essentially confessed
to obstructing the Russia investigation
by bragging about the fact that he fired
then-FBI Director James Comey to protect himself.
-Don't forget, I fired Comey.
Had I not fired Comey,
you might not be talking to me right now
about a beautiful book
of 4 years at the White House,
and we'll see about the future.
The future's going to be very interesting.
But I fired Comey -- that whole group --
and now that group is coming back again?
I mean, it's not believable.
-He was definitely expecting his interviewer
to jump in there with a, "Good point, sir."
Trump always forgets that even his most fervent supporters
sometimes can't follow what he's talking about.
I also like the Trump literally starts a confession by saying,
"Don't forget." He's like a defendant
jumping up in court, saying,
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Before you return
that murder weapon to evidence,
maybe, uh, dust it for prints."
Trump supporters always want to know
why people can't stop talking about his crimes
when he can't stop talking about his crimes.
In fact, Trump was so intent on reminding everyone
he obstructed justice during the Russia investigation
that he again came back to it
later during the interview, out of nowhere.
-I was going to say before, if I didn't fire Comey,
they were looking to take down
the President of the United States
if I didn't fire him.
And some people said,
"He made a mistake when he fired Comey."
And now those same people said it was most incredible,
instinctual moves that they've ever seen.
Because I wouldn't -- I might be here with you.
Perhaps we'll be talking about something else.
But I don't think I could have survived if I didn't fire him
because it was like a hornet's nest.
When I fired him, they all went crazy.
-What are you talking about?
Even I don't ramble that much to my therapist.
I'm just kidding. I don't have a therapist.
I have you guys. A therapist --
A therapist would never...
[ Cheers and applause ]
I mean, it's cheaper.
A therapist would never put up with this many tangents.
"I think, Seth, it would just be more helpful
if we dug into your childhood." Yeah, sure, sure, sure, sure.
But what if Al Pacino had been in Dune?
Like what would...
What would that even sound like?
[Imitating Al Pacino] Alright, let's go.
The House of Atreides will bring peace to Arrakis.
Oh, yeah.
[Normally] I genuinely wonder if --
I genuinely wonder if even Trump fans
are capable of understanding what he's saying,
or if his stream of consciousness rambling
is just a soothing way for them to fall asleep.
Because I will say, I would definitely listen to
one of those nature sound CDs with Trump's voice
to help me doze off.
[ Nature sounds play ]
-I never understood wind.
You know, I know windmills very much.
They're noisy.
They kill the birds.
You want to see a bird graveyard?
Go under a windmill someday.
You'll see more birds than you've ever seen
ever in your life.
-Now, the congressional investigation into Trump
for the January 6th insurrection
has been impeded, in part by the fact
that some of his cronies have refused to cooperate,
like his former Chief of Staff, Mark Meadows,
who cited executive privilege
and said he would remain loyal to Trump
and defy a congressional subpoena,
asking him to spill any Trump secrets he might have.
-Former Trump Chief of Staff Mark Meadows,
who also happens to be a former member of Congress,
he was a no show today,
despite the 1/6 committee's demand
that he appear for a deposition,
10:00 AM sharp.
Meadows has also invoked
Trump's claim of executive privilege.
-There you go. Mark Meadows is claiming executive privilege.
His interactions with the president
are private and confidential, and as a loyal friend and ally,
he would never betray that sacred --
I'm sorry, what's that? He wrote a book?
Then he got paid money for it.
Is it called Home Gardening Tips,
But No Secrets About Donald Trump?
It's not?
Well, what's in it? Juicy details
about all his private interactions with Donald Trump?
But what about executive privilege?
Alright, you know what? I really feel like
you guys got to explain this stuff to me
before the show.
I mean, even Wally's confused.
Yeah.
Yeah, you're right, the clip packages
always do a good job of explaining stuff.
The only problem with the clip packages
is they never have any Al Pacino.
Alright. Whatever, let's roll it.
-Donald Trump tested positive for coronavirus
3 days before his first debate against Joe Biden
on September 29th, 2020.
This stunning revelation is in a new book
by former White House Chief of Staff Mark Meadows
that was obtained by The Guardian --
a positive test the country never knew about.
Despite the positive test, Trump attended an indoor event
with gold star military families.
Two days later, on Tuesday, the 29th,
Chris Wallace at Fox says Trump was not tested at the debate
because he arrived late and they allowed him on stage
because they were relying on the honor system.
Later that week, on Thursday, the 1st,
Trump officially tested positive,
according to his doctor --
-Who-ah.
-Oh.
First of all, I like that Trump's aides
won't talk to Congress, but if they get a book deal,
they'll tell the entire world
the worst [bleep] they can possibly think of.
"I'll never testify before Congress about my good friend
and loyal steward Donald Trump,
a man I admire and look up to, who I would never betray.
You'll just have to read my book titled Trash Can Human Being."
So it turns out, Trump tested positive for COVID
before a presidential debate with Joe Biden
and kept it a secret. Although in retrospect,
I feel like maybe we should have known from that debate
that he had something, based on his performance.
It was either COVID or rabies.
-I'll ask Joe. -[Stammering]
-[Speaking incoherently] -No! Hey, Mr. President.
No, Mr. President.
No, no. Go ahead.
No, no, no, Mr. President.
-3 1/2 million, Joe. -Mr. President --
-Who-ah.
-No, Mr. President. -Go ahead.
-Can I be honest? It's a very important --
-Try to be honest, it'd be good for you.
-He stood up -- -No.
-Oh, good. So not only did he have COVID,
but his mouth was open the entire time.
It's like he was trying to spread it.
If you had a 4K TV,
you could actually see the coronavirus particles
coming out of his mouth.
Trump secretly tested positive for COVID, didn't tell anyone.
And then he went to an event with military families
and a presidential debate,
knowing he was potentially spreading COVID.
In fact, The Washington Post reported...
He's like the Johnny Appleseed of COVID.
Now, people keep saying that Trump looked terrible
and we should have known he had COVID.
But I mean, when does he, you know, not look terrible?
I mean, look at this. Are we supposed to be able to tell?
I mean, look at these pictures.
When was the COVID?
He was never exactly the picture of health, you know.
You know how at the end of pill commercials,
they quickly list all the possible side effects.
They should just replace that with a photo of Trump.
He always looked like a patient on "House"
who gets saved at the last minute
by some unorthodox treatment.
"Donald, there's only one way to save you.
We're gonna to hook you up --" [ Laughs ] I'm sorry.
Donald -- [ Laughs ]
OK, OK. "Donald, there's only one way to save you.
We're going to hook up your heart to a pig's heart
and have you swap brains."
Suffice it to say, it's a relief to know he's no longer in charge
as we face the prospect once again of rising cases,
a winter surge, and now, a new,
possibly even more transmissible variant.
Now, thankfully, scientists, being the cautious,
measured, people that they are, have given it a totally benign
and not at all terrifying name.
[Echoing] The Omicron Variant.
[ Lightning crashes ]
[ Witch cackles ]
"The Omicron Variant" sounds like a paperback
I read at my grandma's house
because there was [bleep] else to do.
No, Grandma, I don't want to read your stories.
What the [bleep[ is this?
Seriously, the Omicron variant?
I thought scientists were supposed to be mild-mannered,
analytical types who don't want you to panic.
I get that they're just going by the Greek alphabet,
but the Greek alphabet is very scary.
I propose we start naming the variants
after popular child stars of the '90s.
I would just panic less if Fauci was on TV,
telling us about the Lipnicki variant.
"You know, the Lipnicki variant,
much like the actor it's named after,
it's infectious."
Anyway, Omicron, a.k.a. Haley Joel Omicron --
see, it works -- is already here,
and yet Republicans on Fox News are dismissing it
as some sort of liberal hoax,
with one Republican calling it "the midterm election variant,"
another saying Joe Biden wants to make COVID
the forever pandemic,
and Fox News hosts suggesting
Biden just came up with it to help him politically.
-The emergence of the new COVID variant
is sparking a fresh round of conspiracy theories.
Former White House doctor turned MAGA congressman
Ronny Jackson tweeted, quote,
"Here comes the MEV -- the Midterm Election Variant."
-Democrats are already using this to jam through
their pro-lockdown, anti-freedom agenda,
but we're not surprised. A new scary variant
is another liberal cover up
for Joe Biden's ongoing and many failures.
And maybe that might help them
in the upcoming midterm elections.
-It's always a new variant. -And you can always --
you'll count on a variant about every October, every 2 years.
-[ Laughs ] -Oh, I think it's gonna -- Yep.
You know, you're probably right.
-However... -They could speed up.
The variants can come more quickly.
-We're going to need a new variant here.
-Alright. First of all, I hate to nitpick here,
but that's not how you mime holding a phone.
See, if you're pretending to hold a phone,
you hold it like this. Your hand isn't the phone.
The phone is in your hand.
Like, for example, if I were to mime taking a phone call,
I would -- I would do this.
"Hello? President of NBC? Uh-huh.
Yes, this is Seth Meyers. [ Gasps ]
I've used up my show's entire tangent budget for the year?!
Which year? 2022?!"
Anyway, back to Fox News.
Are you out of your [bleep] mind?
You think anyone wants this pandemic to keep going?
You think that's good for Democrats politically?
Everyone is miserable. No one wants this thing to keep going.
We all desperately want life to go back to normal.
I can't believe I'm saying this,
but I give anything to be on a packed "F" train
high fiving rats and reconnecting with the dude
who insists on bringing his bike on during rush hour.
I miss that guy.
Why do you have a bike on the train, though?
Why are you bringing one mode of transportation
onto another, slower mode of transport?
Just ride the bike to work. You'll beat us all there.
We're all still dealing with a once-in-a-century catastrophe
that has resulted in mass suffering,
and we have one party that either thinks it's a hoax
or actively tries to spread it to as many people as possible.
We all desperately want to get back to normal.
The difference is, one side is a bunch of proposals
for how to get there,
and all the other side can say is...
-"Yabba-dabba-doo."
-In what context did he say that?
This has been A Closer Look.
♪♪
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