hello everybody my name is markiplier
and welcome to hoonipop the dating
simulator just for
i me to play this game just because it's
hilarious awesome
and really tells a lot about a person's
personality when they go into this so
i'm gonna give it a go and i'm gonna
start as a man
because i'm uh have a penis
all right so anyway hello there hi
how is it going oh what hi
hello okay could i get you to maybe take
it down a notch
i'm right here uh no
i think i think i'm in love with you
sorry i just don't talk that's a lie
i think i'm in love with you
nice to meet you i literally can't
remember my name right now
what is my name um we'll try that again
later
okay dude are you gonna be all right
looks like you're having some trouble
holding it together over there
yeah that's a fat load of [ __ ] and you
know it
well you don't have to be mean about it
[ __ ] yeah sorry i should just go
well you're so pretty oh god did you
just say that
yeah i did it
you know what this might actually work
i love you
who the hell are you what are you doing
in my room i said
get up it's the middle of the night
all right i'm up am i gonna have to pull
the covers off
oh don't do that i'm naked underneath
here
uh who are you recognize this adorable
face
nope not at all from the bar [ __ ]
i don't believe you did did you i mean
did we yeah this one's more obvious
clever disguise right yeah sure yeah
change my hair any color
i want soaking in the other girl yeah
whatever boo hoo
i'm a fairy well a love fairy to be
exact uh-huh yeah sure i'm gonna believe
that
yeah exactly uh
oh i'm gonna believe that apparently i'm
just gonna believe that but let's leave
the sarcasm to me
no you see as a love fairy it's my job
to help poor sapps like you
out with the ladies oh and the poor sack
what i do
impressive track record all of my
previous clients
are basically walking babe magnets now i
do
though let's just say
you will be my greatest accomplishment
thanks i know i'm a walking being magnet
you don't need to tell me i i know okay
anyway
so why do you want to help me yeah
that's that's a good question uh thanks
but no thanks
no look at me seriously we need to get
started right away
do you see how cool i am what have you
been on
huh how many days have i uh uh
an amount
we're going on a date right now someone
has to show you the ropes
why do i gotta grab my shirt open pretty
late and you'll love it
or not i don't care well thanks i'm glad
to know you're so personally invested in
my love
this game is not what i was expecting
this game is absolutely not what i was
expecting so i'm gonna take these off i
look like a douche
this is not either what i'm expecting is
this a day i'll try to make this click
this is the date grid these little
pieces are called tokens [ __ ] you
earn affection by matching three or more
of the circular tokens
horizontally or vertically for a
successful date
you have to fill the affection meter
before you run out of moves
give it a shot match those orange ones
with the crescent shape in the middle of
the grid
slow down i'm having trouble keeping up
i may not have been on many dates but
i'm i'm pretty sure this is weird
okay all right then
easy each of the four types of affection
tokens represents a particular trait
the orange ones represent romance blue
is talent
green is flirtation and red is sexuality
pay attention to which trait your date
prefers it'll go a long way
ah of course matching four or five
tokens will get you even more affection
i'll show you match those four sexuality
tokens in the bottom right of the grid
okay wait i can drag them anywhere
oh you're all affected by me in probably
the worst way
let me cover the other token types real
quick the pink hearts are passion
tokens matching those will raise your
date's passion level
the higher the passion level is the more
affection you'll earn
the gold bells are joy tokens you'll get
an extra move by matching those
very useful the broken heart tokens are
bad news
seriously avoid matching those as best
you can
finally the teardrops are sentiment
tokens matching those gives you
well sentiment you need sentiment in
order to use
date gifts and seeing as how you don't
have any date gifts
i'm guessing i need to explain that too
no i understand what that is
it's on the house thanks like i said
you'll need sentiment to use it so go
ahead and match those three sentiment
tokens in the leftmost column
the teardrops
okay hey a
and give that date sentimentalized to me
okay wait you just gave me a gift
okay you're welcome you all give me i
spent a lot of money on there are like
a ton of different dates that you can
get too
they each have a unique effect on the
date and can be extremely useful in
combination
oh and thanks to a little fairy magic
you'll never actually lose them so you
can use them on your next date too
is that cool or what seems a little
weird i've gone on long enough uh-huh
i'll let you finish up the date so you
can get the hang of it i'm sure there's
nothing
don't worry i won't let you fail this
one i'm not that mean
i i i mean i i'm new to a lot of this
but i'm sure there's a lot of questions
here that i got
you know like kind of everything
i don't i'm not sure i i wanna i wanna
follow your logic here but
something about it just don't don't
smell right to me
bang combo you're so affected i think
if that's what i'm aiming to do and i
don't know why i can move them from such
a distance it seems a little bizarre but
you know what love is blind i think that
i think that's what they say that's what
they say right
love love is something anyway love is
strong love is passionate
love is apparently candy crush
mooney money oh is this pronounced honey
pop
i have no idea what did i have in me
what do you have in you certainly not me
okay bye that's bizarre
hello [ __ ] it's morning already we are
way behind schedule [ __ ] check it out
i have one last thing to give you uh-huh
and this is important it's your heart
introducing the latest in love fairy
technology 4.0 huh
the honeybee is an essential lifeline
player on the go
it automatically registers the info of
new girls you meet
and can even track their location you
can organize your inventory buy new
gifts
upgrade your trades it's awesome you
don't have time to go over every feature
but you're a big boy to access the
honeybee
all you have to do is right click it
pretty much anytime
or if you're weird you can use that
button at the top of the screen
go ahead break that bad boy open no i
will but i'm gonna do it weirdly
because i'm just a weirdo what's this
why why would i need it why would i need
why would i need a tissue box why would
i
i have no idea i i don't even know what
this is uh xxx is it
moonshine maybe it's uh moonshine weekly
my favorite magazine
okay great i think that's it for now
yeah let's
get out there and talk to some bride oh
god
uh or are we just chill here and play
video games
i said let's go talk to some bra
not ready dad
let's go talk to some bra
let's go talk to some broads broads
all right fine what's that i didn't hear
you did you say
hell yeah
you gotta go where the hot chicks are
doing some scouting and i have a few
ideas of where to start
it depends what type of girls you're
into we can check out animals usually
the mall the gym the world or the nearby
cafe
what'll it be oh no i don't know
how would i know the fitness club that's
where i pick up all my girls
who wants to go on a date with me why
are you pushing your boobs up
i didn't expect to see you here today
tiffany who oh you're not dark yeah my
english lit class was canceled
trying to make good use of the time hey
listen
thanks so much for watching philip the
other day
i know it was last minute no don't even
mention it
i'd love to hang out with billy he's my
little buddy did he give you any trouble
nope like an angel an angel
are you sure you are watching the right
kid
i know i still owe you too so don't
worry i should be getting my paycheck
tomorrow
i won't hear a bit why am i eve dropping
nonsense i'm not ready for an answer
too late have a good workout yay
i'm just gonna stand here staring at me
this hasn't been over
man will you get a load of these two i
don't know
to
all right just be nice and blunt about
it don't worry they can't see or hear me
i'm just a figment of your imagination
oh okay so i am insane
whoa nah i'm crazy real i just hid
myself from everyone so i can give you
advice on the sidelines stop playing
with my emotions this chick
is clearly out of your league [ __ ]
there may be hope
she's probably looking for a decent guy
because of that baby mama drama
so just try not to be an ass for like
five minutes i can't make any promises
she's looking over this way oh yes
hey baby how are you doing use nice
booze
oh [ __ ] jam out are you finished with
that machine i have one set to jam out
oh
anyway i'll uh i'm just gonna pause this
here i don't know if that paused
anything i got a lot of traits here and
stuff like that i just wanted to take a
little looky-loo
oh i can buy things good i could buy
balls i'm glad i need them for this
so i'm gonna end this here i'm gonna
play a few more episodes of this
i had no idea it was gonna be like this
in any way this is oddly
hilarious so thank you everybody so much
for watching let me know what you think
in the comments below
and as always i will see you in the next
video
bye-bye oh boy okay come on
oh god i wasn't looking up freaking
frank back up
those who won't choose it are a threat
to the rest of us