Oh!
How ya go’in ya big bloody beautiful bastards?
Here’s me face.
Welcome back to another instalment
of Influencers.
One year ago I made the first volume
in this acclaimed DocuSeries.
We covered the topics of animals
becoming influencers beyond their will –
usually small dogs,
the use of cheap practical effects,
the industry wide dependence on Boyfriend’s with Tech Skills,
aka BTS's
and just bottoms in general.
The worldwide perpetual use of bottoms to influence.
With one year having passed now,
I can report that
not much has changed.
I wasn’t sure where my research would take me this time,
but yeah, nah yeah
it took me to a lot of the same places.
I’ll show ya.
Influencers continue to promote wellness down at the beach.
And the beach continues to say
“yeah nah, stay away"
"go back to the fucken city please.”
Balconies are still as popular as ever.
If you have a balcony in 2022
you’re halfway there to being an influencer,
same as 2021.
Ah yes, here we go!
Multi-tasking.
Practical effects.
Ladies and gentlemen I present to you
the next bloody Quentin Tarantino
filming a modern Uma Thurman.
I think his hand makes it in shot,
but not the hay and debris.
Boomers are entering the industry more and more.
They’re getting the hang of it.
Thats nice.
A lack of men in the industry does remain prevalent, however.
We’re gonna need to consult some peer-reviewed journals
as to why this is.
They seem to get into it for a little while
and then unfortunately blokes lose interest.
Elon Musk has kicked around the idea
of being an influencer full-time.
The keyword is full-time,
because let’s not lie, he already does it casually.
Is she a bit stuck?
She’s looks stuck.
I dunno if she’s in peace.
I think she’s stuck.
Meanwhile, back at the beach,
people love filming themselves at the beach –
and each other.
What are ya doing?
BAD IDEA!
Crikey.
I am influenced NOT to hang on dead tree branches.
Oooooo ouch!
Okay nah I deem this video educational by the way YouTube staff.
It’s educational.
Oi everybody please do pre-order this new Here’s Me Face shirt.
It’s a blood ripper,
and it's the best way to support my channel cos
I keep getting demonetised.
It comes in acid wash black,
navy,
green,
there's me face on the back aswel.
We print front and back,
were printing them all from Perth, Western Australia.
We'll be sending them out on March 1st,
so pre-order now.
The link is in the post description below.
There's the one for the ladies.
It's a lovely ringer tee,
front and back.
There's your face,
it's about your faces
ya know,
not mine!
It's about your faces.
Gargh!
What just happened?
Did I just become an influencer out of nowhere?
Fuck.
If you gonna be influential towards something though,
why not make it ya own face.
That’s my argument.
Let’s have a look at the latest advancements
in the realm of
Boyfriend’s with Tech Skills!
Fwwwwoar, yes KING!
He’s got all the hi-tech equipment.
Unfortunately it doesn’t matter, into the cave he goes.
This boyfriend is fair dinkum versatile.
He can go down.
He can go up again.
He can zoom in.
He can zoom back out.
Whatever the vision from the misso requires,
he can do it.
He can even join in on the dancing.
Swaying and thrusting as he watches.
Wow!
This boyfriend doesn’t have any tech.
Oh no there's the boyfriend.
Smashin’ out 60 fps.
Fwoar, he’s gone big.
He’s invested in DSLR.
I reckon that would’ve required a personal loan.
Solid as a fucken rock.
I dunno where her boyfriend went.
Maybe they had a fight earlier that day,
she has to do her own tech
plus perform all of a sudden.
These sheilas have simply figured out they don’t need boyfriends.
They can pool their money together and buy a tripod.
The tripod is actually doing an equal to
or greater job than a human man I reckon.
A tripod can’t walk upstairs though, can it!
Not matter how ya look at it,
this job 100% required a boyfriend.
Aaaand here’s one Girlfriend with Tech Skills to balance things out.
She is absolutely smashing it.
Yeah, nah yeah.
Gender is irrelevant.
If ya wanna be in front of the camera,
or behind it,
you just gotta decide thats what ya wanna do and go for it.
So what has changed in a year?
Why?
Why Ozzy Man?
Why are ya making this?
I do think the influencer industry continues to be a growth sector.
There’s been BIG new stories.
BIG news stories
to do with influencing over the last year.
Generally, not positive ones,
they don’t seem to sell very well…
or just happen often.
More so embarrassing, cringe-worthy ones,
that go on to negatively affect the entire online content creation ecosystem.
Like that plane full of Canadian influencers from Quebec.
That was a big story.
It even got the attention of the Canadian Prime Minister.
Pandemic or no pandemic
that’s actually just a good general summary of influencers,
putting everyone at risk.
Who is Rita Fox, OnlyFans Star arrested for flashing her posterior at the Kremlin.
Wow pause it there.
Fuck me, um
Firstly posterior, thats a fun word.
You know, I’m gonna exchange bottom for posterior
from now on.
But is that fair?
Secondly, is it fair,
that a sheila get arrested for her bare posterior
outside a Kremlin.
Like yeah,
I don't wanna be a stickler.
At the same time like
I get it we don't wanna see bloody -
bare bottoms outside the eatery
while we're having dinner.
While we're dining out with children and shit.
But you know, posteriors aren't going anywhere.
They're a huge, huge part of this industry.
If you try to get too heavy handed
and crack down on them
It could just backfire and it cause more harm.
Like crypto regulation.
Ya know, a bit of regulations probably good,
but don't get too heavy handed.
Posteriors.
Crypto.
Ya know similar.
Relax.
Just relax a little bit over that stuff.
Jail is kinda harsh.
What's this one?
Reality Star Stephanie Matto who earned 200k selling farts in a jar
lands in hospital
due to severe gas.
Okay.
Wow, um, that's interesting.
Yeah, firstly
Yeah
Lets find out if that story is real.
Let me do some research here.
What have I got?
*loud silence*
Okay. Yeah, nah it's a real news story.
Hashtag no judgement.
She’s an entrepreneur.
I'm here for the journey.
Gee whiz, let’s look at more of her content.
I’m keen to understand the process
and I’m keen to know who the fuck is buying farts in a jar
from a sheila on the web.
Did I just flexed on?
Did I get flexed on by the fart sheila.
78 grand.
Is that AUD or USD I wonder?
Look I’m a believer.
She’s made a fortune.
I am inferior.
This is incredible.
Media interviews.
I haven't done media interviews for years!
Holey mol-
Look it's unhealthy to compare yourself to infulencers guys.
I'm not
I'm not comparing myself okay.
Don't do it, it's unhealthy,
real talk
unhealthy to compare yourself to influencers.
Lets see what else she has going on.
Ohhh, there it is.
There it is.
India.
India, you guys are buying the farts in the jar.
Okay.
Alright.
I mean India is my 5th biggest geo.
Youse aren't buying the fucken shirts
but you're are buying the farts in a jar aren't ya!
Okay. Fuck me I'm sorry!
Not comparing myself.
Hashtag no judgement.
No, no judgement.
I’m not kink shaming.
Okay.
If you wanna all make Mumbai smell like this lovely ladies pop offs,
go for it.
Lets continue a little bit more.
AHHHHHH
Herein lies the story of how she ended up in hospital.
With a gassy tummy.
What a time to be alive.
I reckon we wrap it up to be honest.
I think this video peaked a little while ago
and as I said, it’s unhealthy to compare yourself to influencers.
Love her work,
love what she's doing.
I don't need to compete,
I don't need to,
that's not what I'm doing.
I'm not going down that dark path, ya know.
I’m happy with the merch products we produce for youse in house here.
In Perth.
You legends don’t need my farts in a jar.
*awkward silence*
Let me know if you do, but I’m pretty sure that you don’t.
Yeah, that concludes Part 2.
I will leave you with some footage of people
who remain confused when it comes to seeing influencing out in public.
See ya everyone!