Welcome back to part two, your second lesson of these seven lessons. If you
haven't yet subscribed to this channel, Communication Coach, I encourage you to
do so at some point in the process. Because, in addition to this free course
there's lots of other material on the channel and I keep adding more material every
week. So let's jump into lesson number two.
In our first lesson, we looked at
long-windedness. In this one we're going to get after how to form a concise
overall message. So, concise tip number two is keep the overall message tight.
Mark Twain once joked I didn't have time to write a short letter so I wrote a
long one instead.
And the point is making there in a humorous way is that it takes time to
whittle down your message to the essence. It's much easier to just be long-winded.
But, everybody appreciates a concise message, whether it's a presentation,
meeting, a talking turning in a conversation, or your elevator pitch,
people want you to finish on time and they want you to wrap it up. I put
elevator pitch and quotations because, first of all, I don't like that phrase but also
its signals that it's a message that you have to finish in about the time you
have an elevator ride. So you have to express what you do or what your
organization does and how they add value in a very short amount of time.
Strategy number one is skip to the heart of the message. That's the best way
to compress your overall message. Skip the preamble, the qualifications, the
backstory. Don't think out loud, just bottom-line it. This is a picture there of a
golden retriever. I've a little golden retriever puppy right now. This reminded
me of her.
So, what's the heart of this message? So I was driving around the other day doing,
you know, errands and what not. I saw a car go by they look just like yours, at least
it looked like your car to me. Do you drive a Toyota? Anyway, I saw this car
and it made me think of you.
You know what? It may have been a Honda, not a Toyota. SUVs looks so similar. Long
story short, it made me think of you and that's why I called. It's been too long.
We'd love to get together. We're wondering if you'd like to bring your
family over next weekend.
It might have been a Subaru.
So, if you have to whittle this down to the very core part of this, the part
that you absolutely want the other person to hear out of this message,
what would it be? If it were me, I would say it's been too long.
We'd love to get together. We're wondering if you'd like to bring your
family over next weekend. If you got off the phone and didn't say these three
sentences, I think that you probably would have said I never really said what
I wanted to say. If you take away the rest of it, you have the heart of the
message. The opposite is not true. If you took away these three sentences and
you're just left with the rambling about the car, the message would make very
little sense. And so you want to make sure you focus on what the person needs
to know and we do that by using need-to-know versus nice-to-know thinking to get
to the heart of the message.
What does the person absolutely need to know and what's just nice to know, little
details that you could leave out and still communicate your message effectively?
If the person is, let's say they're stressed for time or your reception is not good
on the phone,
what would you focus on? That's generally when you're going to get down to the
heart of the message. Strategy number two is to make your point and then zip it.
So you state the heart of the message. End you're talking turn by literally
closing your mouth. And give the other person a chance to talk.
Look for those head nods and other nonverbal cues that shows that that
person is reading you and you stop talking after just a few sentences. So
let's say you're having a Q&A with somebody and they ask you have you
contacted meeting planner yet? What would you cut out of the answer to get to the
heart of the message then zip it?
Then close your mouth? Here's the answer. No, not yet. I still have to figure out
what we need from her.
I've got a call scheduled with the children ministry leader but I have to
see if that call is actually going to happen. I'm also waiting to hear back
from the musicians. If our first choice for music is available then that will
shape the rest of the program. There are lots of balls in the air right now but
we'll get there.
I just didn't anticipate so many loose strings, you know, that would still be
loose at this point. So remember this is a very direct question. Have you
contacted the meeting planner? This is a yes or no. For me, I would cut almost all
this to make sure I express my main point and then zip it.
No, not yet. I still have to figure out what we need from her. And this leaves
room for the conversation to continue. So, now it's their turn to talk. And
hopefully, you're noticing these nonverbal cues that signal you to stop.
A lot of times, people misread this. The person says Okay, all right. They're nodding.
And we might think, Oh they really like what I'm saying. I'll keep talking, but it
means just the opposite. This is your signal to stop. Strategy number three.
Finish just under time. In many situations like a meeting you'll be
given a certain amount of time for that work. And you want to wrap it up under
the time limit. So, if you have an hour wrap that meeting up at 55 minutes.
Nobody's going to complain. You have a 30-minute presentation, finish in 28
minutes. If you ask somebody for five minutes of the time only use four. Develop
a habit of getting under time instead of going over time. And a lot of people go
over time, especially in meetings and presentations and conversations like
this. In fact, you might take a great speaker that you think is amazing and
she's just crushing it at the 25-minute mark and she's supposed to finish at 30
minutes. And she doesn't. And now she's 35 or 40, 45. And now a speaker that was amazing
a few minutes ago is now 10 or 15 minutes overtime. And they're boring
everybody to death.
You do not want to be that kind of communicator. You want to finish just
under time. Respect people's time and they will start to think of you as a
concise communicator. So keep your overall messages tight. To do that you
want to skip to the heart of the message. I think most conversational messages can
be delivered about two or three sentences only. Once you make your point,
zip it and give the other person a chance to talk. That will develop into a
conversation. And when you have some kind of time limit that you're shooting for,
finished just under time. Your first task is to apply this in conversations,
stories, and any kinds of meetings that you have coming up in the near future.
Up next, we're going to work on concise and clear sentences and I look forward
to seeing you in that lesson.