The combination of introverted intuitive feeling and judging functions that the INFJ uses comes
with a unique set of strengths, as they do weaknesses.
And while most research on these weaknesses is based around what the INFJ incurs through
these 4 functions, what do INFJs have to say about themselves when it comes to reflecting
on these less than ideal habits?
Welcome or welcome back PSYCH-O!
In today’s video we’re going to be presenting you with 10 INFJ weaknesses from true INFJ
redditors themselves.
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Alright, jumping right into it starting with.
Number 1: “Opening up to people”
INFJs are filled with compassion and empathy, always willing to lend an open ear for someone
in need.
In fact, they crave to be that go-to person for some people.
Learning what makes people tick and what they’ve been through actually allows the INFJ to create
a deeper bond and understanding of an individual.
Yet, when it’s their turn to share, INFJs hesitate for a number of reasons.
Whether they feel like they won’t be understood or that their vulnerability may be later used
against them, INFJs tend to freeze when it’s their time to allow others a deeper look into
their minds.
One INFJ redditor said “Expressing my innermost thoughts and feelings, this is one I've really
tried to work on - especially with my fiance.
I don't like to upset or disappoint people, and can't stand burdening people with my problems,
so I tend to bottle them up too much.
“ However, because INFJs truly value emotional
vulnerability in other people for the sake of a close connection, they may feel compelled
to relate to someone with a personal story.
Even if being vulnerable feels natural and right in the moment, once an INFJ is by themselves
mentally reviewing the conversation, they can feel an overwhelming amount of regret
when they realize how much they’ve opened up about themselves.
While it’s probably nothing major in reality, for this private personality type, it can
feel like the ultimate self betrayal.
This can make them feel and seem overly secretive or playing a double life.
Number 2: “Not keeping up with close connections”
Staying in touch with friends and family has never been easier with the help of social
media and messaging apps.
For the INFJ, however, staying in touch with friends and family is challenging and there
may be a few good reasons for it.
Looking at 2 of the most commonly known facts of the INFJ personality type is their hesitancy
to call or answer calls and their distaste for small talk.
Although catching up with friends and family isn’t exactly small talk, INFJs have a difficult
time maintaining lost-distance conversations that are surrounding basic questions.
How's school going, how do you like your new job, how’re the kids, winter came early
this year, I just made a chicken pot pie over the weekend, blah blah blah..
INFJs can only play human for so long; if there’s no deeper substance to the conversation,
INFJs won’t be able to hold out with that useless banter for long.
Soon enough, they may just stop replying all together.
This reddit comment from ‘Surfersbeware’ says it perfectly: “Due to changing social
circles a few times in the last 15 years, there are quite a few people I know and I'd
like to stay in touch with.
The problem is, I have no idea how to just say "hello" and talk about something.
Just talking for the sake of talking doesn't appeal to me, being an INFJ.
But since I'm not really in contact with them anymore, I can't just steamroll them by talking
about important and deep things that really interest me.”
This is also true when it comes to attending family functions or meeting up with long-long
friends.
Some INFJs claim that they feel so estranged from their outer family or past relationships
as adults that they avoid social situations where they’ll be questioned on unimportant
matters.
Number 3: “Feeling consumes by what-ifs”
The INFJ brain is a brilliant, yet scary place.
If the driver doesn’t use it properly, rather than swerving off track, it will slowly but
surely veer off in the wrong direction.
‘What-ifs’ are a perfect example of this process.
With a curious mind, INFJs are always questioning their surroundings, their future, their potential,
where they’re at in life and if they’re going in the right direction.
However, these mental habits only become a weakness when they’re never acted upon.
“Iamblakenstan” explained this perfectly in his reddit post where he said “I’m
paralyzed by choice.
I am 35 years old and still have no idea what I want to do ‘when I grow up’.
There are a number of things I can see myself doing, but I’m too afraid of the ‘what-ifs’
to make a move on any of them.”
Or another redditor who commented saying “I continuously come back to one singular struggle,
the what-if's in life.
What if I disappoint x?
What if I don't equal up to x?
What if I don't know what to do?
What if I'm still in love with x?
What if I fail to x?
I'm really REALLY good at thinking these things and playing out the worst and best case scenarios
but I never seem to have a grasp on the pragmatic.”
When an INFJ gets comfortable with only questioning and never acting upon, they can more easily
convince themselves that something will probably go wrong.
Ultimately resulting in them remaining in a routine that dulls down their potential
and slowly buries that spark they once had for life.
One redditor said “INFJs can convince themselves they're special but then lead a very ordinary
life where they don't push themselves hard enough to truly achieve anything exceptional.”
Number 4: “Alternating between passive and pushy”
As redditor “Treeofwolf” put it..
“Honestly, my true weaknesses are: not being able to express myself when offended, and
exploding in anger after keeping feeling bottled up inside for weeks or even months.”
While these may seem like separate issues, it all comes down to the fact that INFJs struggle
to understand and communicate their own emotions more than most people realize.
While INFJs know their morals and thinking behaviours inside and out, when it comes to
emotions and feelings, it can take a lot of personal analysis to grasp what’s truly
being felt.
For example, if an INFJ in a romantic relationship begins to notice a few things that make them
feel off, instead of communicating that to their spouse, they may want to fully understand
it first.
So, they allow the emotion to fester, remaining completely passive to these continued habits.
They may question if they’re overreacting, if it would be a lot to ask them to stop these
habits, if these habits even bother them or if it’s something else in their lives making
them irritable..
They’ll go through it all.
Until eventually, the feelings hit, and they hit hard.
No need for further analysis, because it ultimately doesn’t matter once these bottled feelings
over-flowed.
And this is where the pushy phase begins.
Now that such strong emotion is behind this once slightly bothersome habit, calm communication
becomes a little more challenging.
In turn, they may become noticeably moody and distant until they can find a way to communicate
their issue without causing too much fuss.
Or.. they may blow up, but most INFJs try to avoid this at all costs.
Number 5: “Hypocritical advice”
INFJs are known to have some of the best advice.
With an unbiased approach, they’re able to pick up details and feelings from all angles
of a scenario to provide an honest and fair analysis.
However, just because they can easily see right from wrong doesn’t mean that right
is necessarily the route they personally choose.
Meaning, just because INFJs give great advice, doesn’t always mean they’re the best at
following it themselves.
In fact, some INFJs can be completely self-destructive and still provide someone with suggestions
on how to improve their situation.
The irony behind this so-called ‘weakness’ is that INFJs despise hypocrisy, and to them,
this tendency has much more to do with their contradictory nature as opposed to intentionally
not following their own advice.
To sum it up, one redditor posted this snippet from an INFJ blog “As an INFJ, I’m basically
a professional advice giver.
This “profession,” however, perfectly fits into the nature of contradiction a lot
of the time.
While it is true that people need different things, I often feel guilty when I tell people
things I firmly believe but then don’t follow myself (for example, to stop worrying so much
about how others perceive you and just live how you want to live).
I think it’s fair to say that everyone could benefit from letting go of expectations now
and then, but as much as I tell others to do this, I find it very difficult to do it
myself.
Basically, I feel like I’m turning into an advocate for the “do what I say, not
what I do” gang.”
Alright psych-os, that's it for today..
So, if you’re an INFJ, do you agree with these 5 brutally honest weaknesses?
Let us know in the comments below!
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