[Music]
hey everyone and welcome to top think
today we're going to learn about the 10
rules of psychological power
now let's begin
number one personal commitment if you
want to influence other people and
impact social situations you need to
first work on your relationship with
yourself
because every ounce of psychological
power you have comes from inside you
if you don't believe you have power you
will not influence the lives of others
but if you can cultivate a strong sense
of self then you can project the kind of
power that other people listen to and
respect
often your personal power begins with a
choice will you take responsibility for
your actions good or bad success or
failure unless you're willing to stand
behind everything you do and say you
will be dismissed
you'll be lumped into the vast majority
of people who talk and act not to
represent their individual selves but to
meet expectations gain popularity and
satisfy social norms
so if you want to gain power commit to
your decisions empower your
individuality show others that you
aren't afraid to take risks and make
mistakes because commitment and
responsibility generate a kind of power
that other people will always respect
number two power people
who do you spend most of your time with
think about your closest friends
partners and mentors
all of these people influence your
thoughts goals and lifestyle for example
if your closest friend maintains a slew
of unhealthy habits then you're more
likely to develop a similar routine
but the same thing is true for inspiring
high performing people
so if you spend time with a friend who's
ambitious and motivated their go-getting
spirit will positively impact your life
you need to choose the right people to
surround you day after day their
influence is critical for your
confidence your motivation and your
self-esteem
in fact you unconsciously gain
psychological power by simply spending
time with more ambitious people
so take a hard look at your social
circle how do they view their lives and
careers what are their attitudes toward
the future are they motivated and hard
working
if the answer is no then it may be time
to meet new more powerful people people
who lift you up instead of bringing you
down
because a strong social circle is
necessary to not only find success but
build influence and psychological power
you need people who you respect and who
respect you
people who want the best for you just
like you want the best for them
now of course distancing yourself from
less motivating people can be hard
it's not always easy to walk away from
long-standing friendships or
partnerships
but your relationships will affect the
rest of your life if the person you hang
around with doesn't share your
aspirations the two of you may be moving
in different directions
so find your power people build a strong
circle of respect and influence and once
you've found your circle collaborate
network and raise each other up because
a powerful group will accomplish more
than one powerful person ever could
number three project confidence
without confidence no one's going to
trust the things that you say or respect
the things you do because leadership
requires self-assurance and self-belief
even if you don't have all the answers
you need to trust in your judgment and
your instincts
you need to believe you're doing your
best in every situation otherwise your
power will crumble because people can
tell when you aren't sure of yourself
when you're overwhelmed by insecurities
people begin looking to other people for
leadership
that's why the third rule of
psychological power is this project
confidence everywhere you go
be sure of yourself make the best
decisions that you can and trust that
those decisions will take you in a
positive direction now look i'm not
saying you need to have all the answers
in some situations you may be running in
the dark
but even when you're unsure prove to the
people around you that you believe in
your ability to figure things out
that confidence will inspire others to
take your side even if you have no idea
what you're doing
number four mental fitness
psychological power hinges on something
called mental fitness
mental fitness is your brain's ability
to manage itself for example someone
with strong mental fitness can overcome
and cope with negative emotions that way
those emotions do not negatively impact
their lives or reputations
so how do you build mental fitness
building mental fitness is a lot like
building physical fitness
it takes continuous practice and effort
to maintain a positive relationship with
your habits emotions and psychological
well-being
but if you want to gain psychological
power you need to keep your head in
order and your emotions in check
because your strong mindset is the
foundation on which you build power
influence and social success
number five courageous demands
are you a people pleaser are you afraid
to say no people pleasers struggle to
stand up for their goals needs and
aspirations when someone asks for a
favor they compromise their needs to
cater to the needs of others now in some
cases this is charitable and kind but
people pleasers give to others not
because they're altruistic but because
they're afraid to say no
so if you want to gain psychological
power you need to stand up for yourself
if you're unable to defend your own
priorities people will walk all over you
no one will listen to you because you
don't have the strength to vocalize your
needs
luckily people pleasing is a bad habit
that anyone can break
it takes time and effort but you can get
stronger healthier boundaries and defend
your priorities
you can gain psychological power and
learn how to say no but first you need
the courage to stand up for yourself
stop worrying about how many people like
you because no matter how you try you're
never going to please everyone you may
not feel comfortable disappointing
people but it's a fact of life
your decisions will always negatively
affect someone so instead of worrying
about their needs worry about your own
be strong courageous and a little bit
selfish because a no gets you more
respect than a yes ever will
number six
be honest
do you trust yourself most people don't
most people undermine every decision
they make they don't trust or believe in
themselves because deep down they're
afraid to be honest not with others but
with themselves
most people would rather lie to
themselves than face the honest truth
but that's where psychological power
comes from
you gain confidence ambition and
motivation by digging deep and figuring
out who you really are
that means asking yourself difficult
questions it means pushing yourself
beyond your emotional comfort zone and
identifying your weaknesses because no
matter what those weaknesses are you can
grow and improve you can become a
stronger individual but first you need
to challenge your emotions and identify
your flaws
in other words you need to be honest
with yourself otherwise that trust will
always be broken
number seven find solutions
how often do you complain about your
life when something goes wrong do you
wallow in your misfortunes or do you
search for a solution
the most influential leaders maintain a
solution-based mindset
in other words when something doesn't go
their way they don't waste their time
dwelling on mistakes and missed
opportunities they don't complain about
all the little things they could have
done instead they fix their mistakes
learn from their failures and make
progress toward their goals
powerful people are not interested in
rewriting history they're focused on
what comes next and that mindset gives
them psychological power because no one
can alter the past but with the right
mindset you can always affect your
future
[Music]
number eight powerful language
how you speak heavily influences the
person you show the world in fact the
language you choose dramatically impacts
the meaning people gather from your
words
the same sentences said in two different
ways can create polar opposite reactions
in the same group of people
so to make yourself more powerful in any
environment be mindful of the language
you use
for example the active voice is much
more commanding than the passive voice
the active voice makes you the subject
of any situation which implies power and
authority
the passive voice on the other hand
makes you the object which implies a
lack of control
the same can be said for positive and
negative language positive language
creates a happier more inspiring message
while negative language evokes
unsatisfying emotions
now of course it's not always easy to
choose every word that comes out of your
mouth but if you slow down think
carefully and keep it simple you can
communicate psychological power every
time you speak
number nine relinquish control
many people who crave power and control
force their agenda on anyone they can
just think about managers constantly
looking over your shoulder or co-workers
who refuse to share or collaborate
this self-centered approach may seem
like a good way to get things done but
every time you micromanage someone else
you're communicating distrust
in other words by failing to delegate
your work you're telling the people
around you that they're not good enough
instead of teaching or inspiring people
you're decreasing their motivation and
discouraging their independence
so take a step back delegate your work
and trust other people to deliver
because good leaders don't tackle every
challenge on their own they gain power
and influence by building trust with the
people in their corner
number 10
know your worth
do you know your worth or do you depend
on others to define your value
in our society too many people determine
their worth by listening to the opinions
and criticisms of others
you need people to like you otherwise
you can't like yourself but that's not
the way a powerful person thinks
self-worth is an intrinsic process in
other words it's something you decide
for yourself
it's your job to understand your value
because the world will always try to
bring you down
there will always be critics trying to
lower your self-esteem and if you let
them these people will drive your
self-worth into the ground
so if you want to gain psychological
power ignore the people who try to hurt
you build thicker skin
develop a strong sense of self
accomplish goals and make yourself proud
because taking a position of power means
exposing yourself to social criticism
the more criticism that you can take the
better you'll fare at the top of the
ladder
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