What if woke is offensive?
How could that offend anyone?
As a narcoleptic,
(audience laughing)
I grew up in a very, very religious
family.
And so much so that when Halloween
would come around as a kid,
I was not allowed to dress up
in a secular costume.
No, I had to be
a biblical character.
And never one of the good ones
because that was too sacrilegious.
I always had to be some obscure
and get the word out.
You know how embarrassing that is
to be 7 when you don't even know
enough about your own surroundings?
And you're trick or treating
with your friends,
and you ring the doorbell,
and they're like, "hey, there's
"Spider-Man and there's Batman,"
and they look at me.
"And you're wearing a toga
"and sandals."
I'm Joseph of Arimathea.
(audience laughing)
You remember when they put
the Savior in the tomb?
Joseph is the guy who owned
the tomb.
(audience laughing)
Smaller character yet very important
in the new--
(audience laughing)
But it was better for me to be
out trick or treating on the street
than back home.
I love my mother.
I love her.
You guys would love her.
Hopefully, you get to meet her.
(audience laughing)
I actually keep her ashes right
by my bed.
She's not dead.
No, just smokes.
And I figured if I had the ashtray.
No, my mom would dress up
like the Virgin Mary
and she wouldn't give out Snickers
bars.
She'd give communion.
(audience laughing)
I really I hope I didn't offend
anybody.
You never know anymore what
is offensive and what isn't, right?
It's generally the younger
generation that
is the woke generation.
And I don't know if there's
a newsletter, but I don't know how--
there's probably a word that's
safe today a month from now
will somehow be on the no fly list.
I don't know what that word is.
But I do know that I've had
some younger folk tell me, "oh, you
"need to be woke."
What if woke is offensive?
How could that offend anyone?
As a narcoleptic,
(audience laughing)
We have suffered sun, sleep,
and silence for far too long!
I'm sick of you throwing the word
"woke" around.
We're going to beat this.
We shall over--
(snoring)
(audience laughing)
You just don't know what
is offensive anymore.
I understand being nice
and respecting people.
But I don't know.
I met this girl not very long ago
who had just gotten out
of a marriage.
And trying to lend a shoulder
to be-- to lend some condolence.
I said, I understand it can be very
difficult to be a divorcee.
"Oh, you did not just call me
"a divorcee."
Yeah, technically, you're
no longer--
I mean--
"Oh my-- that's so
"rude and demeaning.
"You don't call somebody you just met
"a divorcee.
"Why don't you think before you open
"your mouth?
"Divorceé."
Certified Preowned
(audience laughing)
(audience applauding)
Right?
I don't know.
Is that better?
Slightly used, price to sell,
low miles.
(audience laughing)
New car smell, a little rear damage?
I don't know.
Show me the CARFAX, Karen.
(audience laughing)
It's just impossible to tell what
offends people.