When I was younger, I believed I was unattractive
Sticky-out teeth and fat lips
Small eyes and wonky legs
When taking photos, I had no confidence
and even went to an illegitimate workshop to get double eyelid surgery
I really wish their had been someone to question me
Are you really changing so much for you?
Are you happy?
Before going to university, I was a typical, well-behaved girl
I had no phone, at that time WeChat (social media) wasn't popular yet
The photos I have are from a classmate
In 2012 I got into a third class "ordinary" university
Back then it was popular to perm your hair
and in my first year of uni, I became the first "stylish" one my dorm
Perhaps my schooling before had been too stifling
After arriving at university, my focus was on anything but study
I started skipping classes and I envied other's relationships
But my low self-esteem meant as soon as I spoke to boys I got nervous and stuttered
Luckily I had my phone (to chat with people)
Heaven knows how much I relied on it back then
The four years flew by and in 2016 I graduated
I felt more hollow and lost than I ever had before
Around me there were people happily in love and passing postgrad entrance exams
Some had started jobs, and me...
You must also think my life has been a failure
And the next chapter proves I now had to pay for 4 years of wasted time
After graduating, my first job was at a call centre for an insurance company
After eighteen days, I was done
For my second job, I was tricked into working at a Foxconn factory
I resisted for three days before breaking free
In July 2016 I finally got my first proper job
To cover rent, food and buying clothes
I had to borrow money every month from the bank
Because I couldn't see hope for the future
and I didn't feel there was any growth for me at the job
I resigned after ten months
If you say those five years were a confused mess
then with the sixth year, the winds began to change
In my heart, some power spoke to me
I wanted to be the leopard that changes her spots
To prove that I had worth
I found a job in sales in Guilin
I not only had to talk to people everyday
sometimes I also had to host events
Just like that, I was slowly brave enough to be able to talk to over a hundred people
Bit by bit, my stutter also disappeared
Like most people at work
I also fell prey to dramas concocted by others to manipulate me
That year I understood
that true friendship should flow as easily as water
However it wasn't a total shame
If not for this experience
I wouldn't be able to continue growing
In 2018, English became part of my destiny
At a new job, I could work whilst studying English
At that time, the now 25 year-old me made a decision
I got braces
My first friend who wasn't Chinese was an Italian girl
She liked to say to me
"How are you so beautiful?"
My smile grew over time
Somehow I was able to totally ignore my braces
Whilst working, I'd talk to customers and after work, westerners
Through that process, my English picked up little by little
I got to experience many new things that I never had before
Life became better than it ever had
My feelings of hollowness and confusion receded bit by bit
My bank account slowly shifted out of debt
Though it wasn't much, it was enough to take my parents on holiday
Seeing the smiles on their faces, I knew it was worth it
So worth it!
In April of 2019, I met Scott
The boy who made me fall in love in an instant
My family's extreme resistance put me in the most painful position I'd ever been in
I knew what I felt inside, I knew he was the one
There was no way I was turning back
So I started trying to look for answers in the pages of books
During that time, I read a lot about self-discovery and
natal family etc, these kinds of books
From this point on, my inner-self became more well-rounded and stable
I tried my utmost not to hurt my family
and at the same time not to betray myself
People say time solves everything
In time, my parents also began to accept Scott
In 2019, at the end of the Chinese Year, the coronavirus broke out
I quit my job
We spent the entire lockdown together
We also moved to a new home
Everything was so perfect
I told myself, I deserve it
On March 21st 2020 he proposed to me
In June we were married in Zhengzhou
The epidemic was an opportunity ro rethink my life's direction
In 2020 I made a bold decision
To quit my job and make social media
At the beginning, I was teaching Chinese to foreigners on YouTube
I studied hard and earned a certificate
Teachers present, good afternoon
I will begin my speaking test now
I've set my teaching target as
American students studying upper beginner HSK level abroad
You get out what you put in
I challenged myself again
In September we decided to leave our two-year home of Yangshuo to travel
The first stop was Yunnan, western China
and so here
here
and here
all have been touched by our shadows
We started to share our travels and story with Chinese audiences
And we were lucky to find lots of people who liked our films
From Yangshuo to Yunnan
From China to Britain
My goals were clearer and clearer
Right now we're traveling in Montenegro
Where will the next stop be?
Let's keep that a surprise
If you ask me what has my biggest change has been in ten years?
I want to say that
everyone's appearance and life experiences change with the passing of time
but for me
I'm happier than I was 10 years ago