Boys and girls, come hear my greeting.
I hope you don't plan on sleeping tonight for while you are dreaming.
Evil awakes unearthed and creeping there's things that thump things that bite things that go bump in the night.
"What are these things?" you sit and ponder. Brace yourselves we call them?
Monsters.
What?
He's gonna tell us about monsters, but they're not gonna be that scary
Silence you dirty apparition, don't you see the danger you are in for what I speak is 100 percent real.
Don't believe me?
Just ask my pet eel.
This guy is nuts.
What?
I'm not an Apparition, I'm a ghoul!
The first monster we'll see today is something that
Uh..
Likes to eat hay. First they champ then they stamp then..
Okay, I can't speak in rhymes for the whole thing. I have a question for you guys. Are you familiar with the term "furry"?
What?
well after doing research on these monsters, I don't think "furry" is a new concept
Humans for whatever reason have always been obsessed with personifying animals and who can blame them
Look how cute these guys are. now a lot of these monsters follow a similar pattern
So if you ever wanted to Frankenstein up a monster
All you have to do is take two already existing animals
(one of them being preferably a human) and then you just gotta put them together
You all know about mermaids one part sexy(isn't this channel family friendly?). The other half is just some lady
Well, do you know about this even scarier combination? It's called a hippo
Campus half hippo half college. They say after four stressful years he accumulates
$100,000 of debt and no one in his field is hiring
AhAhAhAhAhAhAhA
Ohhh I'm just messing with you guys. Okay, but for real a hippocampus is a half fish half Horse
Oh like the Neo pet!
What?
Yeah, uhh Fiopian, I had one when I was like 2?
... I used my Christmas paint brush on it.
You guys aren't scared of a literal sea horse?
Well, how does it kill people? Like I turn them into stone?
Uhh No, but the Scandinavians have a version called the kelpie that tricks humans into riding them and then it drowns the humans
Probably should have started with that one....
That's OK , I guess
Alright Edward if a murderous horse doesn't put you on edge then how about this. A Monopod!
Yeah, that's right. It looks just like a regular person
But it only has one leg.
Whoa! Are you calling amputees monsters?!
No! this amputee has one giant leg
and by the way
These guys date back all the way to 400 BC, waay before the first amputee ever existed. Also despite them Only having one leg
They're supposedly very fast. So imagine this guy aggressively chasing you at midnight. Yeah, I'm sure you'd piss your pants, too.
What about this a Blemmy. again, Looks like a regular person but oh wait, where is its head? I don't see it anywhere!
Oh, it's on it's chest like some kind of
Pokemon...
Come on, does this not terrify you? how would you give this guy a hug without suffocating him?
My dad doesn't have a head. Also he rides a horse. So this is all a pretty normal Tuesday for me...
All right, it's fine That you're not scared because I've been saving the best monsters for last
Everyone meet the Serpopard. It has the body of a lion, the head of a lion,
but the neck of a snake. Oh, that's so gross. Why would anything need that long of a neck?
So it can talk to giraffes?
Imagine if it could retract its neck and then you just think it's a normal old lion and say "hey that's pretty scary
but at least it's 20 feet away from me!" and then its head would just extend out of its body and then bite your head off!
Speaking of snake based creatures. What is the second most mischievous animal?
answer - the snake. snakes represents Slytherin from Harry Potter
And those guys are always up to something. and snakes were responsible for the fall of man.
But do you know what the number one most mischievous animal is?
Answer - the Fox he's been in a ton of fables. He's a master hustler.
So the Fox and the snake are two of the most mischievous animals.
But what if they had a baby together? Well take a look at this monster from Chile called the...
the...
NGJJGJ...
I can't say it.
Nguruvilu, There we go! :D
It's a half Fox half snake and it has a claw for a tail and it also creates whirlpools to drown people.
Now his would be a really cool monster, if it wasn't so terrifying.
You know what? I got even more snake based monsters to show you. take a look at the amphisbaena
Amphisbaena
I said it right. it's a half snake half..
snake, but the same half. It's a snake with two heads on both ends for double biting action!
I think it'd be cool if there was a creature that was the snake's tail on both sides. That'd be so useless
Oh, wait, that's just an oversized worm.
How ould either one of them poop?
Great question! I honestly don't know how a real snake poops. And the last snake based monster
I'm gonna show you is called a Chelodina Longicollis. That's its Latin name. It's real name is the snake neck turtle
It's a lot like the Serpopard with its long neck
but instead of turtle. What I doubt you'll have to worry about these things. There's no way these abominations can be real
No, those are real.
Huh?
They're indigenous to Australia. I saw one at the zoo with my Dad.
Phhhh Hah.
There's no way these things can be real.
No, They are defnietly real, but do you know what isn't real? All of us
None of us are real James. Why do you think we all have the same voice? You're talking to yourself again.
It's been three weeks since the accident.
You need to snap out of it!
What are you guys talking about?
You're totally real!
So, did I scare you, huh? You guys scared?
Hey, You!
Knock it off in there!
-Deep Inhale-
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! :0
Muuuuuahahhahahahahha!
Thank you all for watching. don't forget to keep on rocking.
That's it. That's all I got that those are all the rhymes I got, but seriously guys, thank you all for watching.
I hope you all have a spooky and safe Halloween!
Were there any scary monsters that I missed? tell me about it in the comment box down below. If you haven't yet
be sure to check out my Kickstarter for can't catch Harry. It's ending in this many days (4 days)
I don't know when this video is gonna come out so act fast
Huge thanks to all the people who worked on this video
I wouldn't have been able to get it out before Halloween if it wasn't for them. Thanks again for watching
May your Halloween candy be sweet and heartfelt and no matter what you do
Wear your seatbelt
DAB