I did it the hard way you know I'm a kid that came from poverty I could remember
being a kid living in Jersey with my mother 7 I was living in a one-bedroom
you know no lights no heat never cried never complained I just worked hard to
get to where I got to in life it's been it's been hard work
my dad going out there when I lived with my dad in Michigan my dad going out
there taking chances hustling to put food on the table you know he sacrificed
everything for me my dad went to prison and I had to become a man at 16 my dad
came back into my life I was 21 I never cried never complained
all I did was work hard I didn't never never robbed never stole nothing from
nobody just hard work and dedication that's it to get to where I got to so
anybody that's watching this interview I earned it the hard way
you know just the American dream maybe you're going through a divorce maybe
you're going through an illness a lot of people who watch this podcast are going
through difficulties or outright tragedies but you want to practice
seeing the setback or the dark time as fuel to leverage your growth and so on
this first point about study the alchemy no matter what you're going through in
your life whether it's a large difficulty or a small setback you want
to ask yourself how can I use what I'm going through as fuel for my growth you
want to ask yourself what is the gorgeous opportunity hidden inside this
so-called problem I mean and if you look at the mass of humanity they really
train their brains to focus on problems right they hit a wall and then just
because of their belief system they don't know it because most people are
not really that aware of their belief systems so they blame it on the world
they blame it on the supplier they blame it on the teammate
they blame it on their husband or wife they blame it on their childhood versus
understanding our daily performance reflects our deepest beliefs and so if
you are experiencing some kind of a setback whether its large or tiny you
want to train your brain to see the treasure within the lead set up hard and
fast rules in your life rules that cannot be violated because from a
willpower perspective it is very draining again to go back and forth in
your head so it's much easier to say okay I will not drink soda and I'll only
eat foods off of this list then it is for you to go okay I ate really good
yesterday and I worked out extra hard now I'm at dinner and they just gave me
a free dessert is it okay for me to have a small portion because that takes a lot
of mental energy to process when you sit up hard and fast rules as draconian as
this might feel and sound at first it actually creates a tremendous amount of
freedom in your own life to spend your brainpower on the things that matter the
most so set up rules you must work between these hours you need to go to
the gym five days a week for me I set a rule I have to release one YouTube video
for everything you do in your life you have to be self-disciplined discipline
comes from somewhere else it's very very hard
to remain consistent because you tend to resist as well because I see trainers
and they're in the gym with people and you know the guy or girl that they're
working out hates their workout hates it because the discipline is coming from
somewhere else you it's something that you dread every time you go in you don't
really want to do it it's like oh but oh no my trainers here he's about to you
know beat me up and make me feel crazy well the truth is every trainer should
work his way out of your life anybody who's working you out your teachers your
trainers your people they have to train you to get out of your life so you can
go ahead do your own workout do your own thing practice self-discipline now one
thing I want to straighten out big-time discipline is not punishment it's not
discipline it's training that's all it is I was talking to my son one time and
I asked him huh it was weird because I was trying to see if he really knew what
it was all about and I said hey man you know I have to discipline you what is
discipline and he goes punishment well in this minute when I do something wrong
and you punish me I think no no discipline is training if you change
your mind your mindset and really focus it on what discipline really is you
start to welcome discipline you welcome self discipline into your life really I
just kept at it um I work work work work work I don't I don't believe in I hate
lazy people I hate laziness I just don't like procrastination I
don't like people that make up excuses just get it done and I've always taken
that approach with my life and my career and I guess that's why you know I guess
that's why I've been around and I haven't just gotten around you know I've
been a little bit you know well you guys probably yeah so I've been trying for a
long time and it just goes to show you like you know what if you really want
something you work hard at it you know I'm saying eventually people are coming
around it's just it's just up to you to stick with it I think the problem is a
lot of people just give up because it's so difficult you know you want to go and
you know it's like you got bills to pay you can't keep on - - do you guys do
this so a lot of people just give up but I just didn't I just kept working the
thing that I have always told my students and my clients is to start with
a small win begin with something small so for example if you want to lose
weight I often tell people just start walking every single morning don't worry
about counting calories don't worry about complex workout ideas don't worry
about anything that anyone is selling you just get up
and walk every morning right now it's not the walking that's actually gonna
make that person successful now it will add to your success because getting up
and walking fresh air and exercise it's going to support you in losing weight
but we all know that there's far more factors to consider but what it will do
is create the virtue of discipline commitment right commitment and
discipline sort of go together and the fact that that small win
associated with getting up every single morning is under your belt you're
going to feel the courage the confidence and you'll have the ability to begin
adding other things to ability to grow stronger so now that you know it's been
60 days 90 days and it's like you got that pattern down you get up
every morning you just walk that's it you don't think about it it's become a
habit you now can use that tool of creating habits and instilling
discipline with the next one which should be a little bit more advanced
your hardest tasks you should set for the morning in the morning you typically
have the highest willpower your brain is refreshed glucose stores are pretty good
even though you've been fasting overnight you're refreshed you're ready
to go you're more likely to make smart decisions because you can think you
have clarity you're not exhausted by the day yet so whatever is hard for you
whether that's exercise some new thing you're trying to do try to do it before
your day before the long day which is why most successful people in history
have some kind of smart morning routine so they wake up they do the most
important tasks first while they're fresh and then do the rest of the stuff
throughout the day or at the end of the day when they're more tired care more
than normal and more than necessary about your results that's it
learn to care start developing inside of you this this adamant feeling this
desire to care more than normal and more than necessary about the results that
you want you see most people don't cross the finish line with their goals and
their dreams not because they don't have the ability or the resources or the
relationships more often than not it's because at some point they allow
themselves not to care more than normal and more than necessary just think about
an example in your own life when you decided to take action on some desired
outcome but ultimately you gave up on it you'll notice if you're honest that at
some point along the way you allowed yourself off the hook
because you gave yourself permission to no longer care you see having the
conviction about your outcome about your result is so powerful and it is enacted
when you allow yourself to care about that result more than normal and more
than necessary you see when we allow ourselves to care more than normal
and more than necessary that something becomes a priority in our life in his
book the power of habit Charles Durak talks about the science of
small wins and in a nutshell he just says in order to be successful at
creating a new habit you must allow yourself to experience small consecutive
wins that support the behaviors you want I call this winners momentum when you
decide to care more than normal and more than necessary about your desired
outcome even if you don't even believe in that moment that you're able to
accomplish it just by caring having the conviction about the small little steps
along the way creates a winner's momentum that ultimately catapults you
across the finish line
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