Hello junior scientists, and welcome to another deep delve by The Infographics Show into the
greatest scientific questions facing mankind today.
This time we're taking a look at the art of flatulence, taking a deep dive into bottom
burps, exploring the science of shooting fairies, inquisitioning the secrets of chocolate air
fresheners, delving the mysteries of airbending, yes today we're asking the heavy hitting scientific
question that has long plagued mankind's greatest thinkers: what if a fart lasted forever?
First, what exactly is a fart, and why do we do it?
Well, the human body produces intestinal gases as the natural process of digestion.
The food you eat is broken down by stomach acids and different bacteria that live in
your gut, and as it breaks down it, and the bacteria, naturally release a variety of different
gases.
Some of that gas though is naturally ingested atmosphere that comes from swallowing, drinking
through a straw, chewing gum, or smoking.
Gases from the outside found on the inside are primarily oxygen, nitrogen and carbon
dioxide, and these are called exogenous air- exo for originating outside the body.
Gases produced by the breakdown of food via stomach acids and bacteria though is called
endogenous gas- endo for originating inside the body.
These are primarily made up of hydrogen, though some diets can also produce methane.
Small amounts of hydrogen sulfide can also be present and it's this magic gas that makes
farts smell really bad.
This only makes up 1 percent of the gas you expel though, with most of your fart being
almost completely odor-free.
This is a good thing, because hydrogen sulfide at concentrations of just seven hundred to
one thousand parts per million can lead to immediate unconsciousness and a halt to breathing,
leading to death.
Any concentration above that can cause instant death.
That's right, your farts really are silent and deadly- at high enough concentrations.
Undigested carbohydrates are the most common cause of gas, due to the fact that the stomach
and small intestine can't break these foods down.
Instead these food items are moved into the large intestine, and it's here that specialized
bacteria feed on them and break them down, which releases a lot of intestinal gas in
the process.
Foods that commonly lead to high gas production include sugars, dried beans, nuts, fruits,
wheat bran, corn, wheat, and potatoes.
According to the International Foundation for Functional Gastrointestinal Disorders
though, foods that may make one person specially farty, might have little to no effect on someone
else.
And you should listen to the IFFGD, because it's their job to study farts internationally.
I mean, they do other things too I'm sure.
Some foods though are practically guaranteed to make you bloated and farty, so if you've
got a long road trip coming up with someone you don't particularly like, then make sure
you load up on these food items.
Anything rich in raffinose, which is a complex sugar, is guaranteed to make you fart.
That's because humans lack the enzyme needed to digest this sugar, and when the bacteria
in our gut try and process it they release lots of gas.
You can find generous helpings of raffinose in beans, whole grains, asparagus, broccoli,
brussels sprouts, and cabbage.
High sulfur food and drinks are also guaranteed to fuel your rump trumpet, and although they
are an essential part of any diet they can also produce bigger and far smellier farts.
This includes foods like garlic, onions, cauliflower, and broccoli.
Wine and beer are also high in sulfur and will add extra lethality to your down-under
bombers.
Foods that are made with sugar alcohols are meant to provide sweetness without the calories
of normal sugar, and you can find them in anything that's sugar-free and processed.
The body can't digest these foods completely leading to increased gas.
Now that we've taught you to weaponize your steam dumplings, there's a few key facts you
have to know before we explore the hell that would be an eternal fart.
First, it's important to note that there is no scientific evidence of a difference between
the amount that men and women fart.
Men's farts are simply more noticeable than women's, because women's farts are in actuality
whispers from tiny magic unicorns that live in their underpants.
This is science fact and we dare you to fact check us.
Both men and women though fart between twelve and twenty five times a day, though obvious
food choices can severely skew this number.
Vegetarians may in fact be more prone to farting more frequently than meat eaters, due to the
abundance of fiber in their diet, but meat eater farts almost always smell worse because
meat is high in sulfur which produces smelly farts, while vegetarian farts smell only of
self-righteousness.
Pregnant women however are the most prodigious of farters, given the fact that during pregnancy
a woman's hormones can actually slow down the rate of absorption from her digestive
process by as much as thirty percent.
This builds up a great deal of gas, which has to come out one way or the other- top
or bottom.
As the uterus becomes larger during pregnancy, it pushes against the stomach, intestines
and the bladder, slowing down digestion even more and causing even more gas to build up.
An increase in progesterone, meant to help muscles relax in preparation for child birth,
makes it even harder for a pregnant women to hold her farts in, releasing in hilariously
unexpected, and often very loud, barking spiders.
Lastly, we'd like to point out that in 2015 sociologists conducted an exhaustive survey
of college aged men and women, discovering that women are most likely to worry that people
hearing them fart will find it disgusting, while men are more likely to think that farting
was funny.
This same team of sociologists also tackled other pressing scientific quandaries such
as, is fire hot?, and can we breathe water?
So what if you were to fart an immortal fart?
What would the consequences be?
Well, first you have to know that farts are pretty serious business.
Scientists estimate that cattle make up approximately thirty six percent of all the methane pollution
in the world, and methane is a terrifyingly good global warming gas.
That means that it's really good at trapping the sun's heat and not letting it dissipate
back into space.
It's not just a really good greenhouse gas though, it's one of the best, more than thirty
times more efficient a greenhouse gas than carbon dioxide.
And as the world warms up more thanks to methane, even greater amounts of methane will be produced
from microorganisms living in warming lake sediment and freshwater wetlands.
That's right, cow farts are helping to cook our planet alive, at a rate of 19,656,415,296
pounds (8,916,000,000 kgs) of the gas a year.
With methane making up a small portion of each fart, your ceaseless flatulence will
inevitably pose a threat to all life on earth.
The average fart is about 196 milliliters and exits the body in one second, so we can
assume a fart-per-hour rate of 705,600 milliliters, or 186 gallons of fart-per-hour.
In one day that will equal 4,464 gallons or 16,898 liters of fart streaming nonstop out
of your rear admiral.
With an Olympic sized swimming pool holding 660,253 gallons, you'll fill it up with fart
juice in 21 weeks.
Lake Superior is the largest of the American Great Lakes, and holds 2900 cubic miles of
water, enough to cover both north and south America in 30 centimeters of water.
At a fart-per-day rate of 4,464 gallons, or 16,898 liters, you would fill Lake Superior
with farts in 1,959,812,274 years.
The Pacific ocean, which holds 170,000,000 cubic miles of water, would be filled with
farts in 114,885,547,124,550 years.
Of course by then, the sun will have swallowed the earth and destroyed it- but rest assured
because you will have ended all life on earth with your flatulence far before that.