Welcome to Spotlight Advanced.
I’m Liz Waid.
And I’m Bruce Gulland.
Spotlight uses a special English method of broadcasting.
It is easier for people to understand, no matter where in the world they live.
Mateo and Maria had just gotten married.
They did not have a lot of money.
But Mateo wanted to show Maria that he was thinking about her even when they were not
together.
One day, he saw some flowers growing by the side of the road.
He stopped and collected some of the flowers.
When he got home, he tied them together to make them look special.
He gave them to Maria.
She loved them!
The flowers made her feel very special.
She felt loved.
Mateo knew his wife’s love language.
For many years, Dr. Gary Chapman has studied how people communicate love to each other.
Dr. Chapman has identified five main ways that people show love.
These are the five love languages:
Kind Words of Affirmation Quality Time
Receiving Gifts Acts of Service
Physical Touch
Today’s Spotlight continues our series on the five love languages.
This series is based on the work of Dr. Chapman and his book The Five Love Languages.
This is program number three in the series.
The first program was Kind Words.
The second was Quality Time.
Today’s love language is Receiving Gifts.
What is the best gift you have ever received?
Did it cost a lot of money or just a little?
Who gave you the gift?
How did it make you feel?
Did it make you feel grateful?
Embarrassed?
Loved?
For some people, gifts feel like more than just a simple present.
Receiving a gift makes them feel very loved.
Giving gifts is an important part of cultures all around the world.
People usually give gifts on special days such as birthdays or other holidays.
And depending on where you live, there are different traditions around gifts.
For example, in Japan, a person should refuse a gift three times before he accepts it.
In India, a person should give a gift with the right hand.
That is because some people consider the left hand to be unclean.
And in many countries, people believe that giving a gift of knives or other cutting tools
is bad luck.
It means the connection between the people is going to be cut.
These giving traditions are important and special.
But gift-giving as a love language is a little different.
Just because a person gives something to another person, does not make it a gift.
If you give a report to your boss at work, it is not a gift.
If you give someone a book, but want it back, it is not a gift.
For this love language, a gift is a physical object, but it must also be a symbol of love.
Chapman explains,
“A gift is something you can hold in your hand and say, “Look, he was thinking of
me,” or, “She remembered me.”
You must be thinking of someone to give him a gift.
The gift is a symbol of that.
It does not matter if it costs money.
What is important is that you thought of the other person.”
Everyone can give gifts.
Gifts do not need to cost a lot of money.
You can buy gifts, make gifts, or even find gifts.
Remember Mateo and Maria from the beginning of this program?
The flowers Mateo picked were a symbol of his love.
They did not cost anything.
But when he brought them home, Maria knew he had been thinking about her.
Anyone can create a picture, write a poem, or cook a meal for another person.
This can show their friend or husband or wife that they were thinking about them.
In fact, Dr. Chapman explains that people should only spend what they can.
Spending too much money will not make the gift better.
He writes,
“Gifts come in all sizes, colours, and shapes.
Some cost money.
Others are free.
For the person whose love language is receiving gifts, the cost of the gift will matter little.
However, it should be in line with what you can spend.
If a rich person gives only one dollar gifts, the person getting the gift may wonder if
it expresses love.
But if money is limited, a one dollar gift may speak a million dollars worth of love.”
But what if giving gifts is difficult for you?
Dr. Chapman has some very good news for you.
He writes,
“Now that you know giving gifts is difficult for you, you can start learning this love
language.
If your friend or husband or wife’s love language is receiving gifts, you can become
a good gift giver.
In fact, it is one of the easiest love languages to learn.”
Do you know someone who may speak Receiving Gifts as their love language?
Here are some ways that you can show them love.
First, learn about the person.
What do they enjoy?
What do they like to do?
The best gifts show people that we know them at a very deep level.
Try to avoid giving someone money as a gift.
Money often focuses on what a person can buy instead of on the relationship.
Second, do not worry about the gift being either useful or perfect.
The best gifts are all about how we feel about the person.
Try to choose something the person will like, rather than giving them something that you
would enjoy.
Third, do not worry about the perfect time to give a gift.
You do not need to wait for a birthday or special event to give a gift.
If you know a person whose love language is receiving gifts, you can give them gifts often.
You can give gifts any time!
Fourth, when you give the gift, you can include a paper card or say a few words.
Tell the person what they mean to you.
Tell them why you chose this gift.
Tell them what made you think of them when you saw it.
Or tell them how you think it will help them.
This communicates that it is not about the gift, but about the relationship.
Giving gifts is something anyone can do.
Do you feel loved when you get a gift?
Do you enjoy giving gifts to other people?
Tell us what you think.
You can leave a comment on our website.
Or email us at radio@radioenglish.net.
You can also comment on Facebook at Facebook.com/spotlightradio.
The writer of this program was Adam Navis.
The producer was Michio Ozaki.
The voices you heard were from the United States and the United Kingdom.
All quotes were adapted for this program and voiced by Spotlight.
You can listen to this program again, and read it, on the internet at www.radioenglish.net.
This program is called, ‘The Five Love Languages: Receiving Gifts’.
Visit our website to download our free official app for Android and Apple devices.
We hope you can join us again for the next Spotlight program.
Goodbye.