what's going on family game night don't
worry I'm Rochester this scene makes me
cry every time I watch it without any
context it's just some friends coming
over to Rose's house for a game night
which isn't that emotional but with the
context from earlier in the episode it's
a beautiful moment about chosen family
acceptance solidarity and love in this
video I want to examine what makes this
episode and this scene in particular
work so well because as we start to see
more queer representation in mainstream
media we're seeing more and more
coming-out stories and some are
definitely told better than others so I
want to look at this storyline with Rosa
Diaz from Brooklyn nine-nine and talk
about why I think it's an amazing
example of how to tell a coming-out
story so first off let's look at roses
coming out arc as a whole and see how it
affects her character moving forward in
season 5 episode 9 titled 99 Rosa is
dating someone and won't tell Charles
who it is even though he's determined to
find out that's pretty typical for her
character who is known for being quiet
and secretive and Charles's nose eNOS is
also a well-established part of his
character since he always wants to be
involved in everything that's happening
part of the way through the episode
Charles brings Rosa a glass of water and
overhears her talking on the phone to a
woman who calls her babe so he asks her
what's going on and she says I'm dating
a woman I'm by Charles starts to say
something about how he supports her but
she cuts him off and leaves the room
it's a very Rosa esque coming out and
that's important for making it work well
and seem natural because you could just
toss a generic coming-out story onto any
character but the ones that work the
best are the ones that make sense for
that character because no two coming-out
stories are the same people come out in
different ways and a lot of factors can
play a role in that
like how comfortable they are
communicating their feelings and what
kind of relationship they have with
their family so a coming-out story has
to be tailor-made to fit the character
and can't just be shoehorned in half
Hazzard Lee also for this story it makes
sense that Charles would be the one to
pry this information out of Rosa because
that fits what we know about his
character telling a good coming-out
story means just telling
genuinely good story with the characters
you have while also incorporating an
authentic relatable experience if the
focus of your story is the drama and
sensationalism of the coming out and not
the characters themselves it will fall
flat characters make the story and their
desires and motivations should drive it
even in the case of a coming out story
like it wouldn't make sense for roses
character to open up to everyone
emotionally without somehow being
prompted to because she almost never
offers up information about her life
until it's relevant so I love that the
writers chose to have Charles kind of
get that information out of her I mean
he doesn't out her which would be very
bad he just kind of stumbles upon the
information and puts Rosa in a situation
where it makes more sense for her to
tell him then to keep hiding it from him
having one character intentionally out
another is extremely malicious and
hurtful and wouldn't really fit Brooklyn
nine-nine s vibe so I think the Charles
being nosy plot that they came up with
to have her come out to worked really
well for the tone of the show in the
next episode titled game night the main
plot line follows Rosa as she tries to
come out to her parents with Jake's help
one thing I really like about this
episode is that right off the bat
it addresses coming out as not a
singular moment it's not like you come
out and then you're done you come out to
different people at different times in
different ways and Brooklyn nine-nine
doesn't shy away from that there's also
this incredible by joke where Charles is
trying to say goodbye to Rosa and keeps
getting tripped up by Rosa I mean not by
but by I mean see yeah I mean I had fun
only having sex with men just being a
dudes left and right Rosa comes out to
her friends in a very Rosa way making a
quick announcement and then leaving it's
a very nonchalant coming out and
something that was really nice to see
since coming out can often be a negative
experience in fact another thing I like
about this story is how it shows a wide
range of reactions to Rosa's coming out
there's Charles being awkward but
supportive her co-workers being pretty
chill and her parents being decidedly
less chill it's not all good and it's
not all bad it shows the complexities of
coming out and the mixed emotions that
someone can have when coming out to some
people goes well while coming out to
others doesn't go as well so later in
the episode we find out that Rosa's
parents would rather
be cheating on his fiancee with Rosa
than for Rosa to not to be straight
later she finds out they're not mad and
they invite her to game night so she
attends with Jake only to find out that
the only reason they're not mad is
because they don't actually believe
she's bi and they think she'll end up
with a man anyway so she storms off
again when she sees her dad next he
apologizes to her and says he loves her
no matter what but he tells her that her
mom needs some more time and so they put
game night on hold it's a bittersweet
ending that does really well to
encapsulate the actual messiness of
coming out sometimes parents disagree
sometimes one might accept you while one
won't sometimes your parents might take
some time and get over their prejudices
because they love you and other times
they'll want to hold on to their
prejudices it's never as easy or as
simple as we'd like it to be and
Brooklyn nine-nine puts that messiness
on display with roses coming-out story
the other heartwarming part of this
story is Jake and roses friendship and
the support that he gives her I love
Jake and roses relationship I feel like
there's not enough examples of close
platonic relationships between men and
women and mainstream media but Jake and
Rosa are so cute and they're dynamic is
super funny so at the start of this
episode I was happy to see that Jake was
going to be there helping Rosa and the
episode did not disappoint they covered
a lot of ground and set a good example
for what someone should do if they find
themselves in a position where their
friend has just come out like when
they're first talking Jake asks Rosa how
coming out to her parents went and she
says that she hasn't told them yet and
Jake's reply isn't like well why not
or you'd need to tell them instead it's
very understanding I'm told them yet
really I mean of course you don't have
to but I just thought you guys were
getting closer since prison
no I mean we are it's just I don't know
how I would say something like that
eventually Jake gets roped into dinner
with Rosa and her parents when she's
planning to come out but when Rosa gets
too nervous Jake doesn't pressure her to
come out or anything
in fact he agrees to lie to her parents
about the two of them being in a
relationship together so that they can
get through the night it's important
when you're coming out to have a friend
who's understanding and will stick with
you no matter what and that's exactly
what Jake is - Rosa later after Jake has
been to family game night with Rosa and
her parents and her parents have said
some pretty hurtful stuff to her Jake
and Rosa meet on the roof to talk about
it Rosa says she's glad she told them
even if they didn't take it well
and Jake says this yeah still sucks
though still sucks now that's not a huge
deep conversation but it's a meaningful
few words as a friend to someone who's
just had a not-so-great coming out
experience with their parents you're not
gonna be able to fix everything and
while sometimes it's definitely helpful
to tell people that things get better
sometimes you just need someone to
recognize how bad your situation is and
empathize with you
that's what Jake does he doesn't try
offering solutions he doesn't try fixing
everything he doesn't reassure her that
everything will be fine because he
doesn't know that it will be instead he
just acknowledges Rosa's feelings and is
there for her sometimes you just need
someone to sit with you in the hurt and
that's not a thing we get a lot of in TV
shows but it's something that's really
important for life in general and then
we get to the final scene in the episode
knowing that Rosa no longer has game
night with her parents
Jake gathers together all their friends
and brings them over to Rosa's place for
a game night and honestly I cannot think
of a better way plot wise to so clearly
draw out the concept of a chosen family
a chosen family is the people you choose
to surround yourself with either in
place of or in addition to your related
by blood family it's like a group of
really close friends who you consider
your family anybody can have a chosen
family but it's a big thing in queer
communities because so many queer people
have been tossed aside by their families
chosen family is the kind of thing that
surface-level stories about queer people
almost never mention so to see chosen
family be such a large theme in this
episode makes the story feel incredibly
authentic in this episode Rosa's family
is kind of represented by game night
game night is a recurring thing where
the people that care about her take time
out of their schedules to spend time
with her because they love her at the
beginning of the episode that's her mom
and dad but when they no longer want to
have game night Rosa feels relatively
cut off from her family even if her dad
otherwise said some nice things to her
she relies on game night for that
emotional connection even if she's too
tough to admit it so with no game night
Rosa feels family lists that's why when
Jake and all of her friends rock up for
game night it's such an emotional moment
it's not about the game it's about the
fact that Rosa still has
family even without her parents her
chosen family will always be there for
her will always offer her that support
an emotional connection she does have a
family just not the same one she thought
she had at the beginning of the episode
and so I was already sobbing when
everyone showed up at the door but then
Holt comes over and talks to Rosa and my
tear response went through the roof
queer characters are rare and multiple
queer characters in the same show are
even more rare but in this episode of
Brooklyn nine-nine we have an older gay
man who came out decades ago having a
conversation with a young bisexual woman
who just came out that warms my heart so
much simply because these two characters
get to exist in the same show but then
because Holt has been through this he's
able to say just the right things to
Rosa yes you should be very proud of
yourself I know things aren't exactly
where you want to be right now but I
promise you they will improve every time
someone steps up and says who they are
the world becomes a better more
interesting place so raychel any
character could have said this stuff to
Rosa but it's powerful coming from
Holt's because you know he wishes that's
what someone had said to him when he
came out you can hear the emotion in his
voice he wants to support her and
reassure her without discounting how
crappy it is to have her mom not accept
her and when he says that things will
get better he's not speaking out of
idealistic hope but from experience this
is one generation of queer people
welcoming in the next generation of
queer people I honestly kind of want to
cry just thinking about it it's a
beautiful moment and I'm so proud of
this show for giving these two
incredible queer characters this moment
and so that's how the episode ends from
then on Rosa's bisexuality like most of
the things in her personal life isn't
mentioned much there are some really
cute scenes in the final episode of
season 5 where Terry is trying to be
supportive but you never know when
you're gonna find your dream person
anyone on the street could be been it
feels like you googled how to talk to
your bisexual friends yeah and then
Terry encourages Rosa to ask out their
cab driver a girl who Rosa is clearly
captivated by it was just very cute and
I love this little look that they share
at the end it was everything Leigh
in season six we even get to meet roses
girlfriend Jocelyn in episode 11 and
then she comes back in episode 14 when
Rosa has to make some important
relationship decisions Rosa's mom even
makes them return for them to try and
patch things up the great thing about
how the show continues to handle her
bisexuality is that it isn't her whole
character but it also isn't ignored it's
a part of who she is it affects her and
it comes up sometimes but it's not her
only defining trait it's a perfect
balance and one that I think other shows
should aim to emulate with their queer
characters so that's how Brooklyn
nine-nine pulled off in my opinion one
of the best coming-out stories on TV
they worked it into the story in a
believable way spread it out over the
course of a couple episodes tied in
important queer themes showed positive
and negative reactions and then allowed
it to be a normal part of Rosa's life
going forward that's how you tell a
coming-out story anyway that's all I had
for you today if you'd like to support
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I'll see you next time
[Music]