How to keep marriage exciting? Yeah.
That's a question that we get and
and that you find all over the place and
tabloids and magazines.
I'm Paul Friedman. I founded The Marriage
Foundation and I'm going to turn things
upside down for you. Exciting,
you know what they mean, right? They mean
sex. Sex is exciting
so are roller coasters, so as falling out
of an airplane without a parachute.
What do you really want in your marriage?
You know even the body, the human body
can only handle so much excitement
then it burns out the nervous system
fries.
You want love.
You want love. Let's be honest.
The thing that you crave from your very
heart
is love. Nothing is more exciting
than feeling that love.
Sex is great. I'm not putting it down.
I'm not saying, don't have sex
but don't reduce yourself. You are a
soul. You have a body. You have a mind.
You are essentially a soul. Your body is
a possession, right?
If you lose part of it, if it's injured
you're still intact.
Your mind likewise is a possession
that has taken control over you
and what's controlling your mind, your
biological
impulses and so your mind has turned it
into
pleasure. Pleasure that
satisfies for a few minutes.
You know it's interesting, when I was a
kid
people would go out on a date. They'd
make a date with somebody
sometimes a week away and they'd be
thinking about that date,
the whole time combing their hair,
brushing their teeth,
making themselves pretty and handsome in
anticipation.
And sometimes this couple would get
together
and if things got really exciting they
might have sex.
And then, what? It was over.
It was over. All that excitement, all that
anticipation
culminated in
it's over. But
when you fell in love with your soulmate
when you started nurturing your heart
to embrace them with your love
to learn how to love them
unconditionally
that's a different kind of excitement.
It creates an enthusiasm in you that
gives you energy,
that lightens your mood, lightens your
step,
feels right
and that's where you really want to go.
You don't want to get these sex toys and
dress up stuff and do all that stuff.
It's not what you are.
You know there's this whole culture of
describing
mankind not just men
but human beings as nothing more than
advanced
animals. What a stupid idea.
We have a lot in common with certain
animals, our blood, our hearts, our lungs
but we're souls that recognize ourselves
as such. We recognize
our future. We can control
our mind. Our mind doesn't have to be
reduced down to a puppet
of our bodies. We can control our mind.
We could have super high thoughts,
beautiful feelings,
do amazing deeds, have successes.
The greatest success, ask Steve Jobs.
Oops, he died and he was one of my heroes.
He died and he said, "I was a
failure in the most important endeavor
of life."
And in his mind, he thought that was
having
family but it's much deeper than that
and more simple than that. It's having
love.
Love is the epitome
of our conscious existence, isn't it?
You know the western
psychological movement
describes love as an abstract thought as
an emotion,
nonsense.
You have felt it. You have felt the real
thing. It is tangible. So what that you
can't perceive it with your senses? Your
senses are limited
but your heart is vast infinite.
Go for the excitement of developing love.
How do you do that?
How do you do that? I mean this all
sounds good, right, but how do you do that
and I'm going to tell you how you do
that.
We feel love as we are
giving it because we can't produce love.
We're not the makers of love
but we experience love. And when we
give love voluntarily,
we could juice it up. We could
push that love out. We could visualize.
Animals can't visualize by the way,
we visualize. We open our hearts in our
visualization
open a door, pretend there's a door on
your heart. Open it up
and let liquid love flow out
and surround your spouse
and push it out, and that love is going
to flow through you even more and more
and more.
It'll make you intoxicated.
You'll be like drunk with love.
Will they feel it? Part of them will
but our minds block what we're really
feeling
in that regard but they will see
indicators.
They will see your eyes light up.
They will see the smile on your face.
They will feel your presence as peaceful
as loving
and they will respond. Don't
then take that right away to the bedroom.
Sure.
Having sex is a great vehicle
for expressing love but
work on the metaphysical aspects
of it primarily. Build the foundation of
your marriage
which is love. Remember the foundation of
your marriage is love.
Keep building that foundation. Love is
infinite
and it ever expands.
This can almost sound like going to
church, right?
I think. I almost wrote a book called
Marriage is a Religion. In a way it is
because that ultimate experience that we
all crave
comes from deep within. It's the soul's
yearning
to reconnect with love and marriage is
the most
incredible vehicle to achieve that
and you have the power to do so. It's a
setup,
a positive set up but you have to keep
your love in a sacred space. You should
definitely subscribe to this channel so
you can learn more. Get one of my books.
Go to The Marriage Foundation website.
See what we have to offer.
I really appreciate you're coming here
because I want you to be
happy. I want you to feel that joy.
That marriage is constructed to
bring you
feel that love, give that love.
Don't be distracted. Don't let things
undermine it. Don't listen to your mind
when it comes up with
petty complaints or nervousness or
discouragement. Don't listen to those
thoughts.
You control your mind. You control which
thoughts you'll entertain and which ones
you'll throw away,
all about love. That's what marriage is
all about love.
You want a strong marriage that's how
you do it.
You want an exciting marriage that's how
you do it.
It's all about love
and happiness. My name is Paul Friedman.
Thank you for spending
time with me! Like this video, share
this video. Leave a comment if you will.
God bless you!
Thank you for spending time with me!
I hope to see you again.