- [Emily] Previously, on Pretty Little Liars Spoof.
- Ella I saw you with my own two eyes.
(whooshing sound)
Umm, what was I doing?
- You're all suspects in the murder
of Charles Raccoon DiLaurentis.
- I saw an ad with a review of my book
that said it was just okay, do you know who wrote it?
- That would be great if you could--
- I love you Emily.
- Dammit, Paige!
- Who's running this whole thing?
- Well, our main boss is--
- Not another word Emily.
Unless you both wanna die.
- So you're the bitch behind the girl scout cookies?
- Hanna, is that you?
- You're looking right at me.
What the, where did those shades come from?
- I have no idea what you're talking about.
- You were able to see just a second ago.
- Emily, we had a deal.
No talking about the product to outsiders.
- Hanna's my friend, she deserves to know.
- If you guys are dealing, I want two boxes of thin mints.
- Hanna.
- This is a game you don't want to play Hanna, trust me.
- Fine, I'll have one box.
- You're not getting (beeps).
- Look, I talked to Ali earlier.
Everything should be settled.
- That's not what Sara said.
- Oh my God.
- Em, what is it?
- Nothing, I just can't believe I slept with her.
- Is there any girl you haven't banged in Rosewood?
- No.
- Hanna, you can't let anyone know
about our girl scout deal.
- Does any of this have anything to do with Charles?
What the hell?
- You can't tell anyone about this conversation, Hanna.
- Why?
- You don't get it, these girls are crazy.
- It's just kids.
- It's not just kids, I don't know who the ring leader is,
because I just answer to Jenna,
but whoever they are, they're dangerous.
- I (beeps) hate this town.
- Just stay quiet and you'll be fine.
- No, but seriously, can I get those thin mints?
- No.
- Oh no, are you seeing this?
- Yeah.
- That's the tackiest shirt I have ever seen.
- Someone call the fashion police.
- My eyeballs will never forgive me.
- So let me get this straight.
You think that Ezra is behind Charles's death?
- Yeah.
- Because he wrote a bad review?
- Yeah, except it wasn't Charles.
- What do you mean?
- I wrote that review.
- What?
- I didn't know he was still logged in
when I went onto the computer.
- Aria, that can make you an accessory to murder.
- Accessory, like earrings?
- No, a--
- Purse, murdering purse?
- No, it means--
- I'm getting closer and closer to solving this crime.
- How the hell did you get in here?
- It's funny where your imagination can take you.
- Not an answer.
- Do you girls like riddles?
- No. - Yeah!
- There once was a lamb in the grocery store.
- I've seen that once.
- The lamb couldn't find any gravy, is it?
- I don't even know how to respond.
- The point is here and it's sharp.
If you're not careful, someone will be cut.
- Stop.
I think you've harassed Spencer enough, you can leave.
Oh, I didn't mean you, Aria.
- Just let her go, she'll figure it out.
- This isn't the end, like the Terminator and herpes,
I'll be back.
- [Spencer] Thanks for that.
- That's what I'm here for.
(eerie music)
- There's something you're not telling me.
Mom?
Mom!
- Oh, right, that's me, I'm your mom.
- What? - What.
- What did you mean by that?
- Hmm?
- I'm your mom, why would you say that.
- I didn't.
- Yes, you did.
- I said mow the lawn.
- I heard you say--
- Just go mow the (beeps) lawn, Spencer!
(eerie music)
- Ohh.
You were talking to Tanner, weren't you?
- Hanna knows.
- What the hell, Emily?
- She heard me talking on the phone.
- Em, what did I tell you about private phone calls?
- Make sure it's done in a place where anyone can hear me.
- Right.
- I don't know how this happened.
- Does it matter?
We have to let Hanna in or--
- Hi Emily.
- What is she doing here.
- I invited her over.
- Why didn't you tell me first?
- Emily can do what she wants in her house.
- This is my house.
- Touche.
- Paige is a part of this, too.
- Yeah.
- Fine, but I'd hate for you to feel like a third wheel
since Emily and I are closer.
- When's the last time you talked about your feelings to Em?
- Ali?
Dammit, Paige!
- What did I do?
- You broke her!
- How?
- We never talk about feelings.
She's not capable of saying meaningful dialogue with me.
- Wait, don't you already have a girlfriend?
- Kinda.
- What's her name again?
- Umm.
- Talia?
- No, that's the other one.
- Maya? - Dead.
- Linda?
- Killed him, and that's a guy.
- Samara? - Probably dead.
- Paige? - That's you.
- Oh yeah.
- Pretty sure her name starts with an N.
- Nabisco?
- I think that's it!
- Yep.
- Wow. - What?
- I think this is the longest conversation
we've ever had without you doing, you know.
- Without me doing what?
- Without you running away and--
- I love you Emily!
- Yeah.
Ali?
(Ali thuds)
- I don't know, I might have to skip town.
- [Woman] What, no, you can't.
You've already changed your name and city twice.
- It's just, I think they know.
Ashley confronted me the other day.
- Pipe, I mean, Ella, there's no way they know
you have magical powers.
Didn't you use your potion on them
after you escaped the basement?
- Yes, but the effects seem to be wearing off.
I've used it so much on Aria that I think it's made her
a little brain damaged.
- Yeah, sure, the magic did that.
- What are you trying to say about my daughter?
- Look, I love my niece, but I told her to hit the lights
the other day, and the bitch took a bat to my lamps.
- We all make mistakes.
- You mean like using that vanishing spell
on your son accidentally?
- I'm sure wherever I sent Franklin,
- Mike.
- He's fine.
- You need to be more careful, no more magic.
- Yeah, I got it.
- Ella, I need to hear you say it.
- No more.
- No more what?
- No more chocolate milkshakes, they go straight to my ass.
- Ella!
- Okay, no more magic, I promise.
- Good, I've gotta go.
- Mom?
- Oh, (beeps).
(upbeat music)
♫ Simgm productions