- This video is for you if you feel like you're losing
the attraction, if maybe it's slipping away, maybe you feel
like some of the respect is leaving,
or the same energy that was maybe there
in the beginning isn't there now,
this video is gonna be a game changer for you.
I'm gonna show you exactly what to do to
transform the energy from the inside out,
so that you regain your own sense of validation and approval
and you're in your own frame and energy.
So that then that emanates off
and that attraction comes back stronger than ever.
Now, one of the first things to realize
about this whole dynamic
when it comes to this kind of energy
is that one of the best things you can possibly
do to get someone else to feel a certain way
about you is to simply nag them over and over again.
It's to ask them to look for their approval
or validation to say, "Hey baby, do you still approve of me?
Do you still like me?
Hey, is everything still going okay?"
And what ends up happening is they eventually
just come around and they're like,
"Oh, I'm gonna start giving
this person approval and validation."
And then they finally decide to do it.
Okay. Of course, I being sarcastic here.
What you really wanna do is not nag them.
You don't necessarily want to demand
that they, or in sometimes even in passive aggressive ways,
like what do you do when they're like, "I'm gonna go hang
out with friends" and you're like, "Oh, that's fine.
Okay. Hang out with friends."
And then you're in deep, down on the inside
you're feeling like, "Why are they hanging out with friends?
Do they not love me anymore?
Do they have friends?
Do they not love me?"
These are, these are things and stories in our own mind
and in our own psyche that we begin to develop
that is normally reflecting back as well
that there's some inherent belief there
says that "I'm not worthy, something wrong with me.
Maybe I attract people and they leave."
These are all things that you wanna become aware of,
because remember people feel what you feel about you.
So when it comes
to the energy slipping away or the attraction slipping away
one of the things that you want to do
and I know I've never said this
in a video before, but that's because it's my most
popular technique that I've ever shared.
And it works so powerfully
that I really only want people to use it for good.
Do you wanna know what it is?
It's you pull your energy back.
Okay? This is the key to any type of attraction.
This is the key
because what happens is attachment is the root
of all suffering.
Attachment is also something that we can call neediness.
When we are attached to what someone else thinks
or feels about us, we are in a way making something
outside of us, the means to complete something inside of us.
And one of the things that very often happens
in relationships is there's a story that's developed
that this person is the key to my happiness.
They're the other half to my immortal soul.
And this person doesn't know it yet.
I see this on my channel sometimes.
Like, what do you do when your twin flame is running
and they don't know that your twin flame?
The best thing you could do
is maybe just go explain it to them.
Be like, "Hey, I know you, you don't know this yet,
but you are the other half to my soul.
You are the other half to my happy.
And you don't,
you're running from your own work right now.
But if you just come here and connect with me in this way,
if you just connect with me
you'll realize you are the other half to my soul."
Of course I'm being sarcastic here again.
Okay. I'm being sarcastic twice in this video now
so don't take it too seriously.
Another part of this as well is to loosen up.
We take this thing so serious, life so seriously sometimes,
love so seriously sometimes.
And I'll tell you from experience of working in my job
at Nordstrom's in women's shoes, I go into work every day.
I get paid commission.
If I went in with the intention of having fun
and connecting with other people, magic would happen.
If I went in the intention of
I need to make $4,000 today
so that I make like $300 of commission.
I need to do this.
Then guess what? Resistant energy.
It wouldn't work so well.
So for this, and for everything
that we're talking about right now,
this is about regaining your own sense of attraction,
your own sense of magnetism,
by pulling your energy back and putting it inside
of your own body and understanding that a lot of times
if somebody feels like they're slipping away,
you wanna know what they might need?
They might need a little bit of space.
They might need a little bit of space and that's okay.
Give them some space, stop trying to chase,
it's like they're like, okay, I just need some space.
And sometimes by the way, they're trying to,
sometimes they're testing you.
They do want space, but they're like
is this person gonna get all needy
and fricking weird with me
when I just asked for a little bit of space,
or are they gonna be cool?
And, about being cool
it's about really understanding what do,
what are you asking for this person?
Do you need their constant validation or approval?
Because there's another side of this as well
where I believe it is powerful to be vulnerable.
And even in an anxious
and an avoided relationship where sometimes
someone may have an anxious attachment,
relation style, attachment style, where they lean in.
Avoid it is like they want space a lot of times.
There could be power
in actually expressing like, listen,
when you pull away and you want space
sometimes it makes me a little bit feel uncomfortable.
It's not a bad thing sometimes to express that
because you're being vulnerable,
you're expressing what's real.
A lot of times what the anxious will do is
be passive aggressive, and they won't express that at all.
And they'll just be like, fine, go hang out
with your friend.
I'm gonna hang out my friend.
I have friends too.
Ha ha.
And then they'll go,
and they'll like, try to like put on this whole show thing.
You know, don't be passive aggressive.
Be vulnerable over being passive aggressive,
but also just look at yourself.
Why am I afraid to let this person have
a little bit of space?
Space isn't a bad thing.
A lot of times in space, they'll be able to
appreciate you more.
They'll realize that that feeling's actually
come back even stronger.
So many times I see it where two people
may break up, one person wants space.
They say, "I want space."
And they say it just like that.
They say "Space."
And then this one says, "I can't give you space.
If I give you space, you're gonna leave me forever.
You're gonna orbit off into the moon and go away."
And they just keep trying to change the person.
And then I say, "Yo bro,
or yo, just yo, not gender specific, right?
I say, yo, pull your energy back
stop projecting them energy and give them space."
And then they pull their energy back
and they start focusing on their own life.
They start focusing on their own level of integrity.
They start being vulnerable in their life.
They start opening up, they start following their passion.
They start living according to their own rules.
They become the star of their own fricking movie.
Then you know what happens a lot of times?
This person that was like, "Hey, I want space."
They come around.
They're like, "Oh look,
there's the person I actually like again."
Or I realize that I have had space
and now I realize how much I appreciate them.
And then it's because you're in your own frame.
You're in your own reality.
So space is not a bad thing.
If they say they want space,
give them space and be cool about it.
Don't pretend to be cool about it
but realize it's not a bad thing.
It's not the end of the world.
They're not asking
for space because they want, they hate you.
And they never wanna see you again.
They're asking for space because maybe they need some space.
So that will help you to then not internalize
this whole process that says, "Oh my God
they're pulling back a little bit.
It means they're never gonna talk to me again.
They don't like me.
They're abandoning me just like mom or dad did."
No.
Let that, let them go and let them do their own thing.
And it's crazy how many times I've seen this happen,
where, like I said, people break up
or they just need some space.
They give each other some space.
And the person that normally would be needy and weird
about it, realize it has nothing to do with them.
For a long time in relationships I was internalizing
if someone didn't wanna be with me,
it's because I wasn't good enough.
There was something wrong with me.
Eventually though you want to know what I realized?
It wasn't 'cause I wasn't worthy.
But for a while they were reflecting back the belief
that I wasn't worthy because I believed I wasn't worthy.
But once I started realizing my own sense of value
and I started being the real me, it changed everything.
I didn't realize that somebody else not committing to me,
some of that was just their own stuff.
They may have had their own childhood trauma,
their own experiences where they didn't wanna be met there.
They wanted to, they were afraid of that level of intimacy.
They were afraid of that type of connection.
And it didn't have to do
with me just like, by the way, this goes even deeper, right?
If somebody breaks up with you or pulls back their energy,
let me ask you a question.
Was there a time when your past,
when mom or dad pulled back their energy,
maybe when you were a kid,
maybe you don't even remember, but then you internalized it
and said, "There's something wrong with me."
And then you started to develop the belief
people leave me, people emotionally maybe abandon me
or physically abandon me.
These are all a reflection
of the energy that we are embodying
because there's a belief there
that feels familiar from childhood.
And the weird thing is that then a lot
of times we'll attract people to reflect back
that same belief because it feels familiar.
There's a familiar energy there.
So then we attract those people
to then reflect back to us
the belief that we initially have.
So one of the most powerful things you could do
if they're trying to leave you, is realize maybe
they're not leaving you.
Maybe they just want some space.
They want space.
Give them the space and don't internalize it
and think that because they want space
there's anything wrong with you?
Just like when Mom may have wanted space with you,
as when you were a kid or something, you then said,
"Oh, there's something wrong with me.
I need to change myself.
I need to tune to myself to an environment to create safety.
I need to be perfect for everybody."
Instead, realize it's not your fault.
You don't have to internalize it.
That's their stuff, not yours.
It's a common thing that I share in other videos,
a common mantra that's so powerful.
That's their shit, not yours.
Maybe at a certain point
in the time you picked it up and thought it was yours.
Like you were young
and you saw a rock that you thought was yours.
You picked up this rock
and you start carrying it everywhere.
And everywhere you go
you carry this rock 'cause you think it's yours.
And now I'm telling you, you could put the rock down.
It's not your rock.
You just identified, you're like,
"Well this rock was with me since I was four years old
and it kept me safe
and I just slept with this rock for so long.
And I just really love this rock."
Even though you might feel safe with it because you've been
around it a long time, you can let it go now.
And then you could be free.
You'd be like, "Whoa, look at all this.
Now I can give you space.
And it's okay because I don't need that rock anymore.
So like, be next to your rock."
You see?
So this is really about your own energy.
Realizing you have the ability to be in your own frame,
pull your energy back, stop abandoning yourself and realize
that if the energy is slipping away like that,
that might be a lot of the reason why.
'Cause your energy is too intrusive in a way.
Now you'll have to be honest with yourself.
'Cause sometimes you may be with somebody that maybe
isn't emotionally available and maybe they just
always want a lot, a lot of space, right?
And maybe mom or dad wanted a lot, lot of space.
And you becoming aware of that.
But you also wanna be honest
with yourself and realize, am I choosing me?
Am I choosing someone that's also choosing me?
And that will change the way you view the,
you might realize you're in an old pattern.
Maybe, maybe not.
You might be in an old pattern
that you're replaying from childhood.
And maybe the answer is to say no to that pattern.
Is to say no to a pattern to someone
that's not choosing you.
To say no to a pattern that's causing you
to abandon yourself.
You gotta commit to you because the more you commit to you,
the more you feel that inner self love inside of yourself,
the more attractive you will feel.
And the more also empowered you will feel
because you're living according to your own integrity.
Sometimes also people pull away
because sometimes things can become kind of monotonous.
Monotonous, monotonous, something like that.
You know what I mean by that word.
Monotonous is that of things are becoming too autopilot.
Something that could be cool to do sometimes
is to actually just do new shit.
Do something new.
Take this, if you feel like the attraction is slipping,
maybe you're just playing it too safe, have more fun.
Take them somewhere, surprise them, surprise them.
Surprises go a very long way for energy.
There's a quote by Tony Robbins.
"Like if you do what you did in the beginning
of the relationship always, they'll never be an end."
'Cause a lot of times people, when they're in relationship
things become kind of monotonous.
And then after like couple years,
or months or whatever, then everything's routine.
But when you do something new, you surprise them.
You take them out, you, do something new
and you don't do that just
because then you're gonna gain the attraction back.
You do it because it's who you are.
You have the courage
in your own life to get into new situations.
You, you have a thirst
for like maybe exploring the world a little bit more.
Going out a little bit more,
even just with your significant other or exploring
and trying new things a little bit more.
You'll realize that goes a long way
because then it's more exciting energy.
You're not doing it because it's gonna get you
the person to stay with you forever.
You're doing it because it's how you prefer to live in life.
So attachment is the root of all suffering.
Let go of attachment
by starting to meet your own inner childhood needs
and realize you might be playing similar patterns.
Maybe the answer to say no to that energy, maybe not.
But one of the biggest things you could do is to
have a complete identity shift.
When you shift your identity, you shift your entire life.
Now one thing that I have is I have the three most
powerful meditations I've ever created.
It's an inner child meditation.
It is a attract love meditation that has been downloaded
and listened to over five, 6 million times.
It's crazy.
No joke, it's on YouTube, but you can download it for free.
And then also that
of this self image transformation meditation
that I used to sell, these are all three for free.
If you go right now to www.AaronDoughty.com/meditation.
Click the link and description box below.
Download those three meditations,
listen to them for 21 days,
watch how much your life transforms.
And then also if you want a video to understand
if they left, exactly what to do to completely transform
the energy, this is my most powerful video.
If they're slipping away
and you wanna regain that attraction, watch this video now.
They may not come back if the energy remains the same.
However, if the energy changes,
if the energy comes back to self.