Gus: I told not to interrupt me again Joel.
Gus: This is what happens when you mess with the king, baby.
Burnie: All Hail King Gus.
Gus: So, like I was saying, I had the Tyrannosaurus Rex in a headlock.
Gus: About to finish him off, when suddenly...
Gus: Goddamit Joel, what now?
Burnie: He said you're not wearing your crown.
Gus: How do you know?
Burnie: Uhh, yeah he is saying since you don't have your crown on...
Burnie: You're not the true King and you don't have any power over us.
Gus: Oh come on, he said like two words.
Burnie: He also said it's time we rise up and revolt!
Burnie: (chanting) NO MORE OPPRESSION!!
Gus: No, wait wait wait hold on.I have the crown, I swear.
Gus: I, I think I just left it in my office.
(whoosh)
Burnie: No more oppression!
Gus: Okay, an infinite hallway with doors.
Gus: But which one's my office?
Gus: Hmm, okay, uh, uh huh, mmhmm...
Dark Chocolate: Oh, hey sugar, how about a dance?
Gus: Uhmm, no thanks. Where am I exactly?
Dark Chocolate: You're in Dark Chocolate's world now, baby.
Dark Chocolate: Have you met the Girls? This is Chocolate Chip.
Dark Chocolate: And this one is Thunder.
Gus: Gross, you named them?
Gus: I'm just gonna go, you look like you've got a satisfied customer already anyway.
Miles: (whimpers) Please help me!!
Gus: What the fuck is going on? Any one of these could be my office.
Gus: Maybe this one?
Gus: Hello?
Gus: Helloooo?
Gus: Huh, I always thought it would be smaller.
Gavin: Hello there, do you work here?
Gavin: Do you know where I am?
Gus: Me? It's your brain.
Gavin: What? It is?
Gus: Man, this is fucked up.
Gavin: Huh, always thought it'd be bigger.
Gus: Everything is so messed up.
Gus: 'Sup monty.
Gus: What the?
Gusbot 3000: Access denied. You are not supposed to see this.
Gusbot 3000: Yet.
Gus: Well, that was weird
Gus: I got a good feeling about this one.
Gus: Where the fuck is my office?
Barbara: Hey look, it's Barbara, everyone's favorite-
Gus: Nope.
Gus: Geoff, is that you?
Geoff: Of course, it's me buddy, who else would it be?
Gus: Kinda hard to tell, to be honest.
Geoff: You ready to go on our double date?
Gus: Double date? With who?
Geoff: With these two, fantastic ladies
Dumb: Hi, I'm Dumb.
Cunt: And I'm Cunt.
Gus: Nooooo...
Gus: ...oooooooooo!
Gus: Seriously, this is getting ridiculous!
Goat: I know man, this grass tastes like shit.
Gus: I'm never going to find my office!
Goat: Gee, complain more. At least you're not tied to this one spot.
Gus: I don't need a talking goat to put my life in perspective!
Gus: Shut the fuck up.
Goat: Wait don't go.
Goat: I can help you.
Goat: You said you were looking for an office right?
Goat: I was just in one. There was a shiny crown, that tasted like the worst grass ever.
Gus: A crown? I need that. Which way is the office?
Goat: Umm, well, I'm not too good with directions. It's a goat thing.
Goat: But if you emancipate me from this stake, I'll show you the way.
Gus: Okay!
Goat: That's better, I'm not used to standing on my feet for so long.
Goat: Or ever, really.
Goat: Let's go!
Gus: Whatever you say, talking magical goat.
Talking Magical Goat: Okay, this is it.
Gus: Are you sure about this?
Talking Magical Goat: Yup.
Talking Magical Goat: My goat instincts tell me so.
Gus: Finally, my crown!
Gus: Ah, The Fulcrum! I should have known it was you.
The Fulcrum: Yes, 'tis I. The missing piece of the world.
The Fulcrum: And my evil pet: Flatpush, the Platypus, trademark.
Gus: Give me my crown Fulcrum!
The Fulcrum: Never!
The Fulcrum: I am the new ruler of the podcast land!
Talking Magical Goat: You were the one who locked me up. You're a jerk you know that?
The Fulcrum: I don't care. I'm King now, and that entitles me to be a jerk!
The Fulcrum: Now, bow before me subjects!
The Fulcrum: Bow, and be subjected!
Gus: I'll never bow down to you!
The Fulcrum: So be it, I'll deal with you two myself.
The Fulcrum: Flatpush, attack!
Talking Magical Goat: My eyes!!
The Fulcrum: (evil laugh)
The Fulcrum: Prepare to die fool!
The Fulcrum: Hey, no fair. Not the face, not the face.
Gus: Goat, help me, get him off!
Talking Magical Goat: I'm just a magic talking goat, what can I do?
Gus: Don't you have any other magic powers?
Talking Magical Goat: Hmm, lets see...
The Fulcrum: Nooo!!
Not baaa-ad.
Gus: Phew, we did it!
Gus: Man, thanks for your help goat.
Gus: You're the best
Talking Magical Goat: Hey, no problem. I think that we both learned today tha- Whoa.
The Pizza God: Behold. I am the pizza god.
The Pizza God: You have freed me from my imprisonment.
The Pizza God: As a reward, you may have the hand of my beautiful daughter...
The Pizza God: Princess Pepporonella.
The Pizza God: You will marry and rule the land of Pizza together.
The Pizza God: Ushering in a new era of peace and happiness.
Gus: Sweet.
Pizza God: (Gasps)
Gus: Mmm, It's good to be The King.
Gus: So tasty.
Gus: Hmmm, oh, come here, yeah.