Aw, look at the baby monkey.
(audience clapping)
Oh my god.
Conan, this is a
Tonkean Celebes monkey,
a type of macaque.
He just recognized me and freaked out.
I know.
These things evolved from humans actually.
Oh look at this little guy.
Quite an improvement.
Look at that cute little bottle you got there.
This is a bottle, you can try to feed him.
Yeah, that's great.
I hoped that you didn't have to work very hard at it.
Aw, looks it's like he got that on an airline, isn't it?
Oh, that is so sweet.
And so it's what kind of monkey?
It's called a Tonkean Celebes monkey.
They come from Indonesia.
And this is a six-month-old baby.
They normally don't wear diapers but,
the diaper's for your suit.
They're not born in diapers are they?
No.
Fascinating.
(audience laughing)
It's so cute.
And how old is this little baby?
Hey where are you going there buddy?
He's six months old,
and when he's fully grown,
he'll be possibly 24 to 30 inches.
And these animals live in troops.
(audience and Clyde laughing)
So nice, aww.
(audience sighing)
The males troop together,
and the females stay together.
When the males recognize that the females are in heat,
they'll stay around them for about 10 days
before they.
Does he know now that I'm in heat?
Doesn't he sense
that I'm ready to get it on with any monkey?
Hey, hey, okay, he does, he does.
He didn't like that at all.
He was just gumming you.
He was like, I'm not into that.
All right, well thank you.
Does he have a name?
Yes he does, it's Sam.
Sam, okay?
All right, very nice.
Well very nice to meet you Sam.
Okay Sam.
Sam's a little sweetie.
Now Sams' trying to escape from you.
Let's see, we'll put him over here.
Never met that guy.
Does he even work for you?
(audiences laughing)
Random people are coming out of the audience
to take the animals away.
Here's another baby.
And this is a baby wallaby,
called a Bennett's wallaby.
And they come from Australia, Tazmania.
Would this drink out of the same bottle?
He might, yes.
Should they share interspecies germs?
Or this that okay?
We have some fruits back here.
He just smelled monkey on it,
and was like, no thank you.
We'll see what we can do here.
What's this? Right here?
He might take the berry, I don't know.
Okay, wow, I've never seen.
These are actually grazers,
but in captivity, they'll certainly take fruits.
That's the finicky-est eater I've ever seen.
(Conan animating his voice)
No I don't think so, not for me.
No, no, no. Thank you very much, I appreciate it,
but I don't think so, no.
(audience laughing)
Just sniffing it and not really doing anything.
How does this animal survive in the wild?
(audience laughing)
Actually, they are incredible survivors
because they live in very dry areas.
And they graze,
and oftentimes don't have standing water available to drink.
Aw, smelled the product in my hair.
(Conan laughing)
(audience laughing and clapping)
Right, if I ever get the chance, I'll kill you.
(audience laughing)
Well we should move along.
Oh now, now once I'm not touching it,
he wants the berry.
Okay, come with me sweetie right there, all right.
Oh hi, how are you?
Nice to see you.
Oh my god, here we go.
Now we're talking.
Here's an amazing animal that comes from the rainforest
of Central and South America.
I have to be honest.
This looks like something from outer space.
I'm not kidding, look at those claws.
What is this animal?
This is a Two-toed sloth.
It should actually be called
a Two-toed toenailed sloth actually.
But, this animal hangs upside down in a Cecropia tree.
So these things are found in the wild?
These little mini jungle gyms?
I brought this back from my last Amazon trip.
These grow naturally in the wild.
Will he eat this strawberry?
Yes, I think he might take a grape
if he doesn't take the strawberry.
He loves grapes.
Try a grape.
I can't believe these animals are all like supermodels.
You want a grape there sloth?
There we go.
(audience sighs)
Look at those eyes.
Those are the eyes of a killer.
(audience laughing)
And this is an animal
that just likes to kind of hang out and chill.
They eat very little.
They have slow metabolisms.
Once a week, they come down out of the tree.
I've got an uncle like that.
(Conan laughing)
(audience laughing and clapping)
So this guy doesn't do that much.
Just sort of hangs there and eats grapes all day.
As I started to say,
he'll come down once a week.
Oh, I guess you think I talk too much, huh?
No. (Clyde laughing)
I'm sorry Clyde.
He'll defecate at the base of the tree.
Oh great, I'm glad you interrupted what I was saying.
Conan, I gotta get this in.
What is it Clyde?
They defecate.
It's important stuff.
It's not important stuff.
It is because he fertilizes the tree that he lives off of.
And he takes a chance on getting preyed upon
by a jaguar or something while he's doing this.
So this animal risks death to feed the trees in its area.
That's exactly right.
That's a dumb animal.
(audience laughing)
All right, we should head over this way.
Yeah, let's take a look at something else over here.
I wanna see what this is all about right here.
This is where Clyde likes to bathe every evening.
What is this?
Oh my god, is this a shark?
This is a shark.
This is a nurse shark,
and they live in the coastal waters.
(water splashing)
Is it okay?
Look at this thing.
And are those its teeth?
Or is that a mustache of some kind?
They do have teeth.
They have thousands of serrated teeth,
which they use to crush shellfish.
And he could do a good job of your hand.
Why didn't you tell me that before the segment?
Why shove the shark into my suit jacket
and then tell me that it's a killer?
They're not normally aggressive,
but they certainly can be.
Is it okay out of the water?
For a brief period of time.
Actually, they can stay out of water
much longer than one would think.
And what he's doing here,
he's using muscles behind his gills.
And if he were in the water,
he would pump the water through his mouth
and out past the gills
so that he can stay at the bottom
and continue to extract oxygen from the water
without moving like most sharks.
That was a long story.
(audience laughing)
Hey, whoa hey, take it easy.
What are you doing?
Why make him pay for your bad anectote?
(Clyde laughing)
(audience clapping)
All right, we got time for one more.
One more. Where is the last one?
Where's the python?
(audience groaning)
Oh my god.
You take the head Conan.
Take the head? Oh thanks, great.
That's the part that chop chop.
I'll tell you why.
How long is this python first of all?
This snake is about 17-1/2 feet, weighs 180 pounds.
And if you notice his eyes are opaque?
Yeah.
He's getting ready to shed his skin.
Okay, he's moving in a weird way.
They're a little more nasty
when they're ready to shed.
He's he getting mad right now?
Why is he contracting like this?
What's happening?
He's pulling his head back,
and he's looking at me in this weird way.
Can he bite?
Can this animal bite?
He can, he has about 100 needle-sharp teeth,
which kind of curve back.
You're an ass.
What are you talking about?
(audience clapping)
Are you choking my snake?
No, I'm not choking your snake.
He's coming up this way, he's coming up this way.
Get behind pretty ladies.
Oh, he's coming back.
All right.
Is there any way that I can summon the shark
to my defense like Aquaman?
You can try it.
Shark um-tie, attack snake.
Baby monkeys.
Look at this sloth could care less
about what's happening on this TV show.
However, the python would be very happy to
try to eat the sloth.
We're gonna take a break because we're gonna have to go.
But thank you for bringing these animals here.
Clyde Peeling everyone.
Simon Cowell coming up.