>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, WELCOME BACK!
WHAT A LOVELY NIGHT.
WHAT A LOVELY NIGHT, JON.
MY FIRST GUEST TONIGHT IS THE TONY AND EMMY AWARD-WINNING
ACTOR YOU KNOW FROM "THE CROWN," "DEXTER," AND "TERMS OF
ENDEARMENT."
PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW", JOHN LITHGOW.
♪ OH, JOHN OH, JOHN ♪
>> Stephen: DELIGHTFUL TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
SO NICE TO SEE YOU.
>> AND IT'S ME.
>> Stephen: I KNOW!
YOU JUST MISSED RUDY GIULIANI A MOMENT AGO.
>> I KNOW, I KNOW.
>> Stephen: I'M WORRIED ABOUT THAT GUY.
>> IT WAS NUTS BACKSTAGE, I'M TELLING YOU.
>> Stephen: YOU JUST CELEBRATED YOUR BIRTHDAY, HAPPY
BIRTHDAY.
>> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: SATURDAY, SUNDAY?
>> SATURDAY.
( APPLAUSE ).
>> Stephen: SATURDAY, DID YOU MAKE-- DID YOU MAKE A BIG TO-DO
OUT OF IT?
DID YOU DO ANYTHING FUN?
>> WELL, I HAD A NICE ROMANTIC LUNCH WITH MY WIFE.
AND THEN I TOOK HER OFF TO SEE HER FIRST LOOK AT "BOMBSHELL" A
FILM COMING OUT IN DECEMBER, IN WHICH I PLAY ROGER ALES, LOOKING
ABOUT 300 POUNDS WITH JOWLS AND EARLOBES AND FAT NOSE.
SHE STILL HASN'T RECOVERED.
( LAUGHTER )
TO HER.
( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: SO ENJOY ME WHILE YOU CAN.
>> YES, EXACTLY.
>> Stephen: NOW THE MOVIE'S GETTING A LOT OF BUZZ.
PEOPLE ARE VERY EXCITED ABOUT IT.
NICOLE KID MAN, MARGOT ROBBIE, CHARLIZE THERON.
HERE YOU ARE AS ROGER ALES.
COMPLETELY UNRECOGNIZABLE.
HOW LONG DID IT TAKE YOU TO ACHIEVE THIS?
>> WELL, I JUST SAT THERE.
IT WAS NO PROBLEM TO ME.
BUT IT WAS A TWO-AND-A-HALF-HOUR SESSION.
AND IT WAS 17 SHOOTING DAYS, SO THAT WAS --
>> Stephen: SURE.
>> THAT'S A LOT OF TIME IN YOUR LIFE.
>> Stephen: I WANT TO POINT OUT, JOHN LITHGOW, IT'S YOUR
BUSINESS, AND I'M NOT TELLING YOU HOW TO DO YOUR JOB.
BUT HERE YOU ARE AS ALES.
AND HERE YOU WERE AS CHURCHILL IN "THE CROWN."
FOR BOTH OF THEM --
FOR BOTH OF THEM YOU HAD TO WEAR WHAT'S CALLED A FAT SUIT.
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
>> Stephen: WHY NOT JUST HAVE FUN AND GAIN THE WAIT FOR BOTH
PARTS?
>> IT MIGHT MAKE SENSE.
I MEAN, IT SEEMS TO BE ALL THEY WANT OF ME IS BIG FAT, BALD MEN.
>> Stephen: IF YOU HAD TO, IF YOU HAD TO PUT ON, LIKE, 80
POUNDS, OR WHATEVER IT IS, WHAT WOULD BE YOUR GO-TO?
WHAT WOULD DO YOU?
>> I WOULD CALL THE FAT SUIT PEOPLE.
THEY MAKE THE BEST FAT SUITS.
IT DOES MAKE YOU SOMEWHAT RELAXED ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE EATING
DURING THE TIME YOU'RE PUTTING ON-- DURING WHICH TIME YOU'RE
SHOOTING THE SHOW.
>> Stephen: YES.
>> BUT I DIDN'T INTENTIONALLY PUT ON ANY WEIGHT.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
>> I JUST RELIED ON -- >> Stephen: THERE'S NO GO-TO
SNACK THAT YOU WOULD EAT ALL YOU POSSIBLY COULD?
>> PASTA!
PASTA!
( APPLAUSE ).
>> Stephen: A LITTLE ALFREDO.
>> YEAH, PESTO, ALFREDO.
JUST ABOUT ANYTHING.
I THINK THAT'S HOW De NIRO DID IT FOR "RAGING BILL.
GLVMENT I THINK HE WORKED HIS WAY DOWN ITALY.
HE ATE ITALY.
YOU WROTE AN OP-ED IN THE "NEW YORK TIMES."
>> YES, I DID.
>> Stephen: THIS PAST WEEK.
AND IT WAS ENTITLED, TRUMP IS BADE PRESIDENT.
HE IS AN EVEN WORSE ENTERTAINER."
OKAY, COUNTER, HERE'S MY COUNTER-ARGUMENT.
IF HE'S SUCH A BAD ENTERTAINER, WHY CAN'T WE LOOK AWAY?
>> WELL, I MEAN, WHEN IT COMES TO ENTERTAINMENT, THERE'S
ABSOLUTELY NO ACCOUNTING FOR TASTE.
>> Stephen: SURE.
>> I MEAN, I LOOK AT TRUMP AND I SEE A MAN WHO HAS NO SENSE OF
IRONY, WIT, SELF-AWARENESS, EVEN.
>> Stephen: NEVER SEEN HIM LAUGH.
>> AND I'VE NEVER SEEN HIM ATTEMPT TO TELL AN ACTUAL JOKE.
HE MANGLES EVERYTHING APPROACHING A PUNCHLINE.
AND YET, HE, GOD KNOWS, HE COMMANDS AN ENORMOUS AUDIENCE.
HE'S ENTERTAINING SOMEBODY ALL RIGHT.
IT MAKES ME THINK OF HOW SHAKESPEARE MUST HAVE FELT
PUTTING ON "HAMLET" IN ONE PART LONDON, WHILE THE ENTIRE TOWN
FLOCKED TO BEAR BAITING ACROSS THE RIVER.
WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO DO?
>> Stephen: WATCHING TRUMP IS LIKE WATCHING A BLOOD SPORT.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
>> THE ONE THING THAT HE HAS ACHIEVED IN ENTERTAINMENT, HE'S
TURNED OUR COMICS INTO GENIUSES, YOU INCLUDED.
>> Stephen: OH, THAT'S VERY NICE OF YOU TO SAY.
WHAT A LOVELY GUEST YOU ARE.
WHAT A LOVELY GUEST
>> I SAY THAT IN ALL SINCERITY.
I THINK YOU ARE AN IMPORTANT PERSON.
AND I THINK SATIRE AND COMEDY AT THIS MOMENT, POLITICAL SATIRE
IT'S NEVER BEEN MORE IMPORTANT.
>> Stephen: THAT'S VERY NICE OF YOU TO SAY.
I DID WORK FOR "IMPORTANT CENTRAL" FOR MANY YEARS.
YOU HAVE WRITTEN A NEW BOOK, WHICH I'M REALLY LOOKING FOR TO.
"DUMPTY."
WITH YOUR OWN ORIGINAL ART.
>> YES, YES.
>> Stephen: YOUR OWN ORIGINAL ART.
"THE AGE OF TRUMP IN VERSE."
IT'S STORIES OF TRUMP'S PRESIDENCY TOLD IN POEMS WITH
YOUR OWN ART.
I PARTICULARLY LIKE THIS ONE, THERE'S TRUVMENTY DUMPTY SITTING
ON THE WALL.
HAVE YOU ALWAYS BEEN A VISUAL ARTIST?
>> I INTENDED TO BE A VISUAL ARTIST, A PAINTER, PRINTMAKER
WHEN I WAS YOUNG.
BUT, YOU KNOW, I HEARD TOO MUCH APPLAUSE AND LAUGHTER.
I GREW UP IN A THEATER FAMILY.
AND I WENT INTO THE THEATER BUSINESS IN SPITE OF MYSELF.
BUT I'VE MAINTAINED IT.
I DO CHRISTMAS CARDS.
I DO DRAWINGS OF THE CAST ON OPENING NIGHTS OF SHOWS.
>> Stephen: OH, WOW.
>> OR OF THE CREW AT THE END OF THE SHOOTS ON FILMS.
AND I -- >> Stephen: DO YOU WORK ON
COMMISSION, BECAUSE I'VE ALWAYS WANTED A PORTRAIT.
>> FOR A PRICE.
>> Stephen: FOR A PRICE?
OKAY.
WHY-- WHY CAPTURE THIS PRESIDENCY IN VERSE?
WHY DID THIS PARTICULAR ART FORM APPEAL TO YOU?
>> YOU KNOW, IT'S THE LAST THING THAT OCCURRED TO ME.
I DIDN'T THINK I WOULD SET OUT TO WRITE A BOONG OF POLITICAL
HUMOR IN VERSE.
BUT SOMETHING HAPPENED WHICH WAS THE ACTUAL INCITING EVENT.
I WAS ASKED TO PERFORM FOR THE NEW YORK PUBLIC THEATER GALA.
THEY DO AN ANNUAL GALA IN CENTRAL PARK.
THEY ASKED ME TO COME AND SING THE "PATTER" SONG FROM "PIRATES
OF PENSANCE."
I AM THE VERY MODEL OF A MODERN MAJOR GENERAL.
I NEVER PLAYED THE PART, BUT I SAID YES.
AND I DECIDED TO PERFORM IT AS EX-LIEUTENANT GENERAL MICHAEL T.
FLYNN.
( LAUGHTER )
GIVE A LITTLE POINT TO THE EVENING.
AND I CAME OUT ON STAGE ON THE NIGHT IN A NAVY SUIT AND A RED
TIE, AND MICHAEL FLYNN MAKEUP, ALMOST AS GOOD AS MY RUDY
GIULIANI MAKEUP.
AND I LAUNCHED INTO THE ACTUAL GILBERT & SULLIVAN SONG, SANG --
>> Stephen: IS THAT THIS ONE?
>> YEAH, ALTHOUGH THE AUDIENCE HAD NO IDEA WHAT-- WHO I WAS
IMPERSONATING UNTIL I GOT TO THE END OF THE SECOND VERSE.
I TWEAKED LAST COUPLET.
I SANG ♪ THEN I CAN HUM A FIEWJ OF
WHICH I HEARD THE MUSIC ♪ THERE'S NEVER BEEN A GENERAL
THE LIKES OF MICHAEL FLYNN-A-FORE♪
AND IT SPREAD THIS REALIZATION IN THE AUDIENCE.
"OH, THAT'S WHAT HE'S DOING."
AND THEN I SLOWED THE TEMPO DOWN TO A PONDEROUS PACE, AND I SANG
MY OWN REWRITTEN LYRICS TO THE THIRD VERSE.
I SANG ♪ WHEN PRESIDENT OBAMA MADE ME
HEAD OF ALL THINGS CLANDESTINE ♪ HE REALIZED HE'D BROUGHT TO
LIFE A GOVERNMENTAL FRANKENSTEIN ♪ BUT THEN I MADE A KILLING IN A
CASE OF PUBLIC PILLORY ♪ BY SHOUTING HER LOCK HER UP
♪ IN MY HARANGUE OPPOSING HILLARY ♪
♪ SO I WAS CHOSEN NATIONAL SECURITY ADVISORY
♪ UNTIL I LEFT THE CRAFTY RUSSIAN SECRET SERVICE HIRE ME
♪ NOW I'VE BECOME THE TARGET OF A SUPERB COUNCIL CRIME REPORT
♪ A FATE I SHARE WITH COHEN, DONALD JR., AND WITH MANAFORT ♪
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
♪ I PLEAD THE FIFTH AMENDMENT WHEN THE PUBLIC AND THE PRESS
ATTACK ♪ MY MEETING JARED KUSHNER IN A
ROOM WITH SERGI KISLYAK ♪ IN SHORT VEGETABLE, ANIMAL,
AND MINERAL I AM THE VERY MODEL OF AN EX-LIEUTENANT GENERAL ♪
( APPLAUSE )
AND ABOUT MONTHS LATER, I MET WITH MY LITERARY EDITOR.
WE WERE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT I SHOULD WRITE.
I REMEMBERED THIS EVENING.
I SANG THE SONG TO HIM THE WAY I JUST SANG IT TO YOU, AND HE
LOOKED AT ME AND SAID, "THERE'S YOUR BOOK."
AND HERE'S MY BOOK.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) AND HERE'S MICHAEL T. FLYNN AS
THE MAJOR GENERAL.
IT'S ONE OF THE VERY FIRST POEMS I WROTE STORY IT.
>> Stephen: HIS BOOK "DUMPTY: THE AGE OF TRUMP IN VERSE" IS
AVAILABLE NOW.
THE MAN JOHN LITHGOW, EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A BEDTIME STORY WITH JULIE ANDREWS