- [Narrator] Hey Psych2Goers.
Being in a relationship could be
one of the most fulfilling experiences to have,
especially when both partners are committed,
while also prioritizing their individual needs.
However, a relationship that consists
of one or both partners using the relationship as a way
to validate their own self-worth
is considered a codependent relationship,
not a healthy one.
Codependency can be tricky to identify,
especially when you or your partner are so entrenched
that it's difficult to tell
what is helpful from detrimental.
To help you recognize the difference,
here are five common signs
that you might be in a codependent relationship
instead of a healthy one.
Number one, no responsibility for personal feelings.
While it's inevitable that hurt feelings occur
throughout a relationship,
how conflicts are resolved can be different
across the board, depending on how healthy
a relationship is.
In a healthy relationship,
both parties understand and accept
that they're responsible for their own feelings
and responses to said feelings.
Blaming and forcing ultimatums upon the other
to change is not a good way to deal with conflict.
You may be in a codependent relationship if either partner
requires constant reassurance, validation,
or approval from the other.
Take it as a sign of codependency,
If you or your partner are unable to feel
self-worth on your own.
Number two, unbalanced giving at personal expense.
Traits like compassion, patience, and generosity
are all surefire signs of an amazing romantic partner.
However, it's not uncommon for people who have warm
and thoughtful characteristics
to unknowingly find themselves in codependent relationships.
Partners who continue sacrificing their own needs
for the needs of their partner tend to be prideful
for living up to their ideals
of being a compassionate, patient, and generous partner,
while at the same time, feeling depleted, dissatisfied
with the relationship,
and taken for granted by their partner.
The need to be constantly prioritizing their partner's needs
can be mentally and emotionally toxic.
If you or your partner fall into habits
of pleasing the other at your own expense,
find ways to communicate with one another
to reach solutions that could benefit both sides.
You deserve to receive as much as you're willing to give.
Number three, boundaries are blurred.
Do you find it hard to say no to your partner?
Or do you feel responsible for their
mental and emotional health at the detriment of your own?
If your answer to either of these questions is yes
it's possible that you might be
in a codependent relationship.
It can be hard to define where your boundary lines are drawn
when you bind yourself emotionally to another.
A healthy relationship calls for strong boundaries,
even if that means saying no, to the one you love.
While a codependent relationship enables both partners
into deeper unhealthy patterns
when neither are willing to stand their ground.
Though, it might be difficult,
boundaries have the potential to strengthen a relationship
instead of weakening it
as someone with codependency believes, might assume.
Number four, not thinking for oneself.
A healthy relationship often creates a blending effect
for the individuals involved.
It's normal for partners to begin behaving, thinking,
and even looking similarly,
even so, this can be a red flag to look out for
when it comes to codependent relationships.
Notice if you or your partner begin
parroting one another's thoughts or perspectives.
While it can seem harmless to agree 100%
with everything your partner thinks,
this pattern can potentially lead towards an eventual,
harmful belief that someone else will always know
better than you, or worse,
that they know what's best for you as an individual.
One way to grow out of this behavior
is to consider your partner's thoughts
against your personal beliefs and perspectives.
Try to stay true to yourself.
It will add to your level
of independence and self assurance.
Number five, losing sense of self.
Most dangerously of all,
a codependent relationship may cause
a loss of sense of self.
People who fall into codependent relationships often do so
without realizing that they're looking for someone
to validate their identity,
but in their search they may have sacrificed
too much of themselves.
To combat this from happening,
be sure to prioritize both your needs
alongside your partner's and never feel
that being in a happy and fulfilling relationship
requires you to sacrifice your individualism.
The difference between sacrifice and compromise
is considering yourself.
To think of and consider the wellbeing or benefit
of one self while doing the same for another.
Maintain connections to those who supported you
even before your relationship began.
Continue nurturing the hobbies or interest
you had before your partner entered your life,
and find new ones to enjoy together or alone.
Do you relate to any of these signs?
Not all forms of dependency are negative.
While codependent relationships
are unhealthy and detrimental.
It's possible to build a relationship
on the principles of interdependence, instead.
Interdependence calls for both partners
to approach the relationship
with a balanced sense of self,
to support one another towards becoming their best selves
in both the relationship, and individual lives.
Did you find this video insightful?
If so, don't forget to leave a like and a comment
about your own experiences.
Share this video with a friend,
if you think it'll help them too.
As usual, all references used are in the description.
That's it for now.