For years now, people have been saying that I look like Anthony Padilla.
For years now, people have said I look like Daniel Howell.
That I'm the American version of Dan.
It's really hurtful because I feel like Anthony...
sometimes is just the better looking version of me.
He has better hair, he has such a perfect face shape.
I mean you see his eyebrows, what even are-- how are they real?
He has the most perfect cheekbones.
And then his eyes, they're just like these beautiful pools.
He has better looking, more puckered up lips than me.
It looks like he had lip injections! They're so perfect!
I Google him and I just look and I just get lost for, like, hours.
I look in the mirror, I see, you know, freaking Shrek. Honestly.
I cut my stupid emo hair mostly just so people would stop comparing me to Dan.
Anthony cuts off his fringe and then everyone's sad and I'm like, "Finally I own this."
And then what does he do?
Eventually I get tired of looking like this emo idiot, so I change it.
And now everyone compares us again.
I want it to stop. I want people to see that we are not the same. We don't look the same.
A: So please. D: So please.
Don't say we look like each other anymore.
Don't say we look like each other.
A: Because we don't. D: Because we don't.
But just to prove how different we really look...
Today, we're going to try to look like each other to show how difficult it really is for us to be like each other.
You ready?
Let's do this.
Jesus Christ, you are tall.
No, you're freakishly short, Anthony. This is your problem.
D: You want to learn to be like me? A: Yeah, yeah.
Okay well, you need to learn to feel like me, Anthony.
First thing I do every morning is 100 pushups.
D: 100 what? A: 100 pushups.
D: The hell is a--? A: You push up.
You look at yourself in the eye and you admit the truth about our terrible world.
A: It's an exercise. D: What the fuck is an exercise? A: Sorry, no.
Everyone in the world is going to die eventually.
Okay, no.
I need to feel good about myself by making my body look good so that I feel like I'm worthy in life.
Everyone's gonna die horribly, soon.
A: Lift this leg. D: Oh, like a dog peeing. A: No no no no--
Global warming is killing everyone. We're all going to burn to death--
Down, down. Yes-- No, come on. No no no, you can-- Come on.
Did I do it?
There's no point in humanity. There's no reason to live!
A: No! D: Was that--? Was that--?
A: Dan, come on, no you have to-- No. D: I did the exercise.
A: I am a piece of shit. D: Yes.
I do not deserve to live!
[overlapping shouting]
My videos are terrible, everyone knows they're a sham.
[overlapping shouting]
A: Yes, you did one! D: OH--
I don't think this is working.
A: Why? What do you mean? Give me some more directions! D: I am asking you--
D: What is this thing? A: This is your arm.
D: But it's hurting when I push-- A: This is a muscle.
D: A what? A: A muscle.
D: What are you on about, Anthony? A: A muscle.
I don't know why people say it, we're nothing alike.
I don't know what this is. This is the first time I've ever done an exercise.
You-- You're not Dan Howell.
I want to stop. I can't do this. I'm sorry.
The floor under the fridge is one of the most important locations in my life.
D: Okay? A: This is where you sit?
A: Every day I eat a full watermelon. D: Water-melon?
A: It's a fruit. D: Like Froot Loops, I know those. Yes, yeah. A: Fruits, yes!
Whenever you think a sad thought about yourself, I want you to take a marshmallow and just put it in your mouth.
A: This is how you become confident. D: This is weird.
D: All of your doubts, all of your fears...
A: There, yes. There you go.
Like a traumatizing incident from your past--
Get-- Do it, do it, do it!
Keep it going, keep it going!
A: Make yourself feel good. D: I have good teeth for a British person!
A: Yes! D: I'm so hydrated!
D: I did an exercise!
D: Did people used to bully you in any way? A: Yes.
D: Life has been okay! A: That's right!
D: I have white privilege! A: White privilege!
A: Just keep going! D: It's a bit much--
D: Get it in your mouth, Anthony, for fuck's sake!
D: I can't have any more, I can't--
D: Chew, chew, chew!
[overlapping shouting]
I do this for six hours every day, Anthony!
[Dan crying]
[Anthony mumbling] D: How will you ever catch up with me? For fuck's sake! Motherfucking--
D: I think this is what waterboarding is. A: This is never going to work.
D: Can we do something else? A: We'll do something else.
Have you got any chocolate?
A: Okay, okay.
[Dan screams]
[Dan sobbing]
A: Alright, so now you need to be putting some product in your hair.
D: What's wrong with my hair now?
What you need to go for is like emo hair that's been rained on.
Start by scooping some of this. Okay, a little bit more than that.
A: Okay, no no-- You know what, that's pretty good. D: You said scoop!
So it can be mistaken for sweat, but people don't know that.
A: I'm doing my best here! This is hard. D: I've never done a product.
This is like teaching a baby how to walk, okay?
D: So it's like an emo fringe, but without the coolness of an emo fringe, so you just look weird.
D: I've never put product in my hair. No one ever taught me. A: You've never put product in your hair?
No, which is why is I look like an idiot all the time.
A: Get it on some fingers. D: Yeah.
A: Put it on the front.
D: I am a-- A: No, no no no--
A: What? D: I don't know, it's just not cooperating in the way we need it to not cooperate right now.
D: Are you trying to make fun of me?
D: I am a confident sexy man! A: Yes!
Dan, I'm doing my best here, I can't change my hair type!
D: I feel like you're making fun of me. A: I'm not--
[Anthony stuttering] D: You're like, "I'm Anthony and even when I try to mess it up I still look like freaking Nick Jonas."
I. Am. A.
D: Confident. A: Yes!
D: Sexual. A: Yeah, sexual.
D: Man. Have I done it? A: Yes!
Do you like making me sad?
Oh, boo hoo. I'm Anthony and I have a great face and my hair-- [incomprehensible] What a joke!
I'M TRYING MY BEST!
This is the best day of my life.
"I want to do my hair like Dan," then you try to mess it up and it just looks good.
I can't. I can't deal with this. I should have work in these conditions. I'm sorry.
A: Oh my god! Oh my god, this is-- [laughs]
A: Wow.
A: Dan? D: I don't want to come out!
A: Dan, come on! D: No!
A: Dan, COME ON! D: It feels wrong!
Open it. Come on. You're good. Oh, wow you look great.
A: Yeah, you look great. D: I can't move.
A: You look great. D: I don't look great. A: It's a good look.
A: I look like a depressed hockey player.
I'm really struggling to breathe right out.
It's part of my body now. Literally, I can't take this off ever. I will be buried in this shirt.
A: How do I look? D: You don't look nearly depressed enough.
You might drown in that. Are you okay?
It just doesn't work. I'm sorry.
D: Can we, like, get this over with now or something? I'm tired of being humiliated.
D: Do one of my videos, okay? A: Yeah, yeah.
D: So you're looking sad, you're hunching forward.
D: You've got the depressing background on the thing.
A: Talk about yourself, make people feel bad about you being alone. D: Right.
A: Hello, internet. D: No, what was that? A: What?
D: I'm-- I'm Anthony, I've made terrible decisions-- A: No no no, what's with this accent?
A: [English accent] Hello, internet. D: What the hell? Are you mocking me?
No, that's as good as I can do.
[American accent] Hey, I'm Anthony, and I've made the worst career decision in the history of YouTube.
A: Exactly.
Do you have any tips for a British accent? 'Cause I can't.
D: Just... not do that. Are you jo-- Ok, ok, alright. A: [English accent] Not do that.
D: Fine. A: Not do that.
D: Today, I'm going to be filming a video-- A: No, use your hands, use your hands.
I can't freaking move my hands in this stupid shirt.
D: You're doing a story time, and it has to be really sad.
D: I saw a dead mouse.
[English accent] I saw a dead mouse.
A: Fix your hair. D: Why is this-- What is your background?
A: I'm not creative, I don't have any background! [overlapping voices]
D: And it made me think. A: "And it made me think."
D: I wish I was dead. A: "I wish I was dead."
D: You're not convincing me!
[American accent] I'm going to reach out to other YouTubers and make them talk about themselves
D: and then I'll just say, "I don't know what I'm doing, this is day 25!" A: This is a terrible accent!
A: "I wish I was dead."
D: What's the moral of the story? A: Sometimes you just need to take the good with the bad because--
D: [incomprehensible] Not an actual good message!
D: [nasally] Hey, I'm Anthony, and I'm-- A: What is this?!
D: I sound really nasal, yeah. A: No!
You have a really nasal voice.
D: You can't be happy. A: [English accent] Life is not that great.
A: Uh, life is hard. D: I feel like you're mocking me.
I'm not mocking you! I'm trying your accent now and I can't switch it off or else I can't go back.
D: The accent's terrible. A: The accent's terrible?
[nasally] This joke's gonna get really old and then what am I doing after that? I don't even know.
A: This accent sounds great. D: I'm gonna deactivate my channel.
"I'm gonna deactivate my channel."
See you later, bye guys, press a like.
A: Yes, that was actually really good! D: Why are you taking the piss out of me?
A: I'm not, it sounds good. D: That's good, is it?
[overlapping arguing]
D: You don't have to be mean. A: That was good! D: I feel like you're just being mean!
This is just really uncomfortable right now.
D: Can we... A: I look like a failed rapper.
I haven't been able to breathe for about an hour.
I'm trying to do my own my own thing here, and I needed your help and now you're making me feel bad about doing that.
This has just been a really hard experience.
You know, I feel like we could have made this point without being mean to each other.
We lost something along the way here. This shouldn't have been so mean, you know?
A: I'm sorry. D: Should we--? Just?
[both sobbing]
D: You're so fucking beautiful, and that's okay because we look same and it's just like we're compli-- A: You're so beautiful.
Should we kiss now? Is that what's--? No, that's not what's happening, is it?
D: But that's okay, 'cause-- A: You know, I was okay with it for a second but...
A: Now it's awkward. Now it's awkward. D: I made it weird. I made it weird.
D: Let's end this, let's end this. A: Okay, okay.
A: We tried. D: Sorry.
Bring back the fringe daniel