- Now, Pearl, for the sake of the audience, you start off
you said you felt fine.
- Yes. - Now you say you're not sure you feel fine
- No. - Well how do you feel, girl?
- Miserable.
(audience laughs) I've been so miserable
- Every time I come here, I've got man trouble.
But it's worse tonight than ever.
- Starting all over again?
- This man I can't find at all.
(audience laughs) - Well, who is he?
- It's so strange. - Who's this for?
- Well, the strangest thing is, is that this is my brother.
- Your brother, Bill Bailey?
- I haven't seen him for years.
- You mean Big Bill the dancer?
- That's right.
- Well, that's the most ridiculous thing.
How did it happen?
- I don't know.
It was the funniest thing, but you know what?
♪ One fine summer day ♪
♪ Sun was shinin' fine ♪
♪ The lady love of old Bill Bailey ♪
♪ Was hangin' clothes on the line ♪
♪ In her back yard ♪
♪ And weepin' hard ♪
♪ She married a B and O brakeman ♪
♪ That man throwed her down ♪
♪ Bellowin' like ♪
(shoes tapping)
- I'm not doin' this for a mere dime.
I'm doin' it to get me a little dough, that's all.
(shoes tapping)
(audience applauds)
♪ Won't you come home Bill Bailey ♪
♪ Won't you come home ♪
♪ I know you're all ♪
♪ Hot stuff that boy is better than nice ♪
♪ I'll do the dishes honey ♪
♪ With that kinda voice you'd have to ♪
♪ I'll pay your rent ♪
♪ You definitely will have to ♪
♪ I know I've done you ♪
♪ La ta ta de de de ♪
- What a voice.
- I'm glad you like it, darling.
♪ Even when I took you out ♪
Are you enjoying this?
I am. - Oh, it's a pleasure.
♪ Like a fine-tooth comb ♪
- Fine, look out, Jeff.
♪ I know I'm to blame ♪
Now you know there was a shame.
- Yes, there was.
♪ Bill Bailey ♪
♪ Are you speakin' to me ♪
♪ Bailey won't you please come home ♪
- One of the worst singers I ever heard in my life.
♪ Bill Bailey ♪
Oh, I just love that you're still here.
I was just thinkin' about you, darlin'.
♪ Bailey won't you please come ♪
- Worst dancin' that I've seen in awhile.
♪ Bailey won't you please come home ♪
(audience applauds)