Hi there this is Clay and today I want to talk about why it is irrelevant whether or
not your ex wants to get legally divorced from you when you're trying to get back together
with your ex.
Okay.
So I had a question that the other day from somebody who, you know, they were doing the
whole active no contact thing and all that, and they, they contact their ax and they met
up with her ex and everything and the first thing they did was they asked them to sign
some divorce papers and handed him the paperwork and all that.
And my client was like, Whoa, Whoa, what do I do?
How do I get my ex back, my chances ruined.
And I want you to know if you're a married person and facing a divorce from your ex,
that whether or not the two of you are legally divorced is completely irrelevant to whether
or not you get back together, okay?
Because there's really two separate things going on.
There's the legal entity of the marriage and the relationship and then there's the actual,
like, emotional relationship.
Okay?
And those are two separate things.
Okay?
And I imagine you were probably more interested in the emotional connection, romantic connection
of the relationship than you are in this like legal construct, right?
So if your ex gets divorced legally from you and the legal construct is destroyed, it doesn't
mean that your chances over here are completely blown.
All it means is that you know, your ex is positive feelings for you have become so low
due to, you know, whatever happened between the two of you, the history, the emotions,
the baggage, whatever that they in in that moment, they wanted to get divorced and destroy
that marriage and move on from it.
And that's okay.
That doesn't mean that you can't increase those positive feelings, and, and restore
that marriage later on.
But first, before you can restore the legal marriage, what you need to do is you have
to restore the emotional, romantic side of things.
Okay?
So how do you do that?
Again, you do that by focusing on the advanced relational skills, the interpersonal skills
that are going to strengthen the interactions that you have with one another and increase
the positive feelings that you have for one another.
So it becomes, you know, like, Hey, yeah, I don't want to be together with you to maybe
maybe you're okay.
And it was like, yeah, that was kind of fun the last time you hung out to, yeah, you know,
you're, you're really get me. and to finally, you know, hey, you know, I've been thinking
about this.
Maybe we should really give this another shot.
And then after that, when things go well for awhile, then they can be open to the idea
of renewing your marriage again and again.
So again, you want to do basically everything that we've been talking about, the other videos
to apply to people who are married or not married or whatever.
And just focus on that because again, you want to restore the romantic relationship
and not focus so much on the legal construct of the marriage.
Okay.
Because that that's, you know, I imagine it means something to you, but if you could have
one or the other, I imagine you probably want the romantic relationship over the legal construct,
but like a dead marriage, right?
You would probably want an alive relationship, but no, you go and construct, right?
That's probably the better option.
And so focus on this and then it will eventually lead to this.
So, so again, focus on the advanced relational skills.
Make the interactions feel good between you and your ex and you can start to improve things
and eventually get both of them back.
Okay?
So if you'd like help learning how to do that, please go ahead and head over to relationshipinnergame.com
and sign up a, that's really the first step that we can take to start helping you save
the relationship with the person that you have.
You know, whether or not the two of you are divorced or whether or not you're separated
or broken up or whatever, we can start helping you over there.
So go ahead over there if you haven't.
Okay.
And sign up today.
Thank you so much.