How they end up watching you.
By the end of this video,
you're going to find out.
Hey, there, I'm Rebecca Zung.
I am a narcissist negotiation expert.
My background is as an attorney and on this channel
and in my videos here, I teach you real tricks,
actual real world news
you can use on how to finally become the more powerful one with
the most toxic personality on the planet
and if that's something that you want to do,
then I invite you to subscribe to this channel and hit that notification bell.
Go on do it right now.
Subscribe, hit that notification bell so that you can finally
feel like you're the one who's not like,
behind the 8-ball.
The one that feels like you've got like the big foot on your chest for a change.
Now, let's talk about how the narcissist is finally like watching what you're doing,
instead of like you dealing with them, right?
Okay. So what happens is
they end up watching you and why are they watching you?
Well, let's talk about that.
So what happens is there is this cycle that they go through.
First of all, they are checking you out to see if you are going to be a good source of supply.
So they love bomb you.
So they go through these various phases of a relationship.
It's love bombing and then they devalue
and then they discard and then they kind of hoover sometimes.
But it's not always linear, right?
So they love bomb and then
and then it's a value and then going to love bomb sometimes and then do discard
and, you know, it's kind of this whole back and forth constantly and it's not always linear,
but they're constantly testing you
and conditioning you to see if you are going to be sticking around.
They want to see if you are going to be a good form of supply.
So they find this target. They want to be the center of attention.
They need to be the center of attention.
They need this constant adulation.
They need you to be paying attention to them at all times.
They want to make sure that you are going to be paying attention to that
and then they start to value in you
and that's part of the conditioning.
By the way, because they want to see how you're going to behave when they're devaluing you.
So they start ghosting you.
They start barbing you.
They start saying things and they want to see,
are you gonna stick around?
Are they going to get be able to get away with that?
What are you going to do when they do that and how do you behave?
Are you going to go after them?
Beg for them?
They want to know.
Do they have control over you?
Do you beg for their approval?
They want to know, are you going to beg for their approval?
They want that.
They want to start this cycle and then it starts with cycle of abuse
and then you, by the way,
you start needing that hit of dopamine
because then when you get that approval from them, you get that hit of dopamine in your brain
and now you actually start becoming addicted to needing their approval
and that's how that trauma brain starts.
That's how you start becoming addicted to needing them
and that's why I become so so difficult to separate yourself from them.
It's actually almost like a cult in some ways and then they start watching you at all times.
Not necessarily and it's so confusing because you confuse that with love.
It's not necessarily love.
It's you are their possession.
To them it's you belong to them.
It's an extension of them. You are their source of supply
and I have a whole lot more of this on my video called why is narcissist always watching you
and I would definitely check that out.
By the way, but they're always watching you.
They're always monitoring your behavior in your actions
and it's super weird
and I remember when I was targeted by a couple of different covert narcissist.
I remember they were constantly watching me and copying me, copying my behavior.
Mimicking my behavior.
Mirroring my behavior
and it was super weird.
Super stalkish.
Very very eerie and very unsettling to say the least
and I remember feeling really kind of grossed out by it
but that's you know something that they do because they don't have a sense of self.
So they're constantly watching
as well and you're never going to really know how they see you by the
way because their view they hold of you is distorted
by their own needs and their own desire means.
So they only want to be seen in their light
and their needs and their desires.
Okay, so, from their perspective, you are a victim.
So how do they become your spectator?
Well by you moving on.
You start to move on.
You start to become stronger.
You start to place your boundaries.
You start to hold your ground.
You start to say this is not going to be how it's going to go anymore.
You start to negotiate with them from a place of strategy.
You start to create leverage.
You start to decide that this is not how it's going to go anymore
and you start to say I'm going to walk away
from this and that's what I teach you in my
Slay strategy.
That's how my entire methodology is.
Obviously this isn't something that happens overnight.
Obviously, this is something that's a little bit of a
long game and you have to plan for this.
I have an entire channel here on YouTube that is dedicated to this.
I have an entire program that is dedicated to this
and I have free webinars that I offer on how to start with this
and I have a free
Crush my negotiation prep worksheet
where you can start with this.
By the way, would you can grab it
winmynegotiation.com
which I highly recommend that you get.
It's a free worksheet.
Definitely grab that and if you are so ready to walk away.
Definitely put walk away in the comments.
Like Kelly Clarkson.
Just walk away with that in the comments and don't do it without support.
I have a whole Facebook group that is dedicated to people supporting each other.
So make sure that you join that it's called
Narcissist Negotiators With Rebecca Zung.
Definitely join that.
We will make sure that there's a link to that below as well.
So I have so many free resources for you to get started.
I have all kinds of stuff here.
So for sure, when they become your spectator is
when you start to walk away, when you start to create your own life,
when you start to decide that this ain't how it's gonna be anymore.
You know, it starts with you say
I'm not going to retreat anymore.
I'm no longer going to be conditioned to be this way.
You know, what happens is at the beginning,
you're going to be like I don't want to do that because I'm afraid of the backlash.
I'm afraid of how it's going to go.
I get that
because that's how they've conditioned you to believe.
Totally totally understandable.
So you take baby steps, you know,
first step is just to say I'm not going to continue to retreat but then you can say okay,
I'm not going to continue to retreat
but I can start to at least start to take baby steps forward this way
and start to at least ask for what I want.
Start to get what I want.
Start to create strategy.
Start to create leverage.
Start to anticipate what they're going to do.
Start to focus on you.
Your case, your position.
Guess what that spells? That spells SLAY.
Yes it does and that's what you're going to do.
You're going to slay your negotiation.
That's what I teach you how to do.
So it's time to slay
and that's what we're going to do and you can do this.
Never give in never give up and I will definitely see you in the next video.
All right, we got this.