I'm going to tell you in this video,
so stay tuned.
Hey there. I'm Rebecca Zung.
I am a narcissist negotiation expert, a lawyer and author.
In these videos I teach you how to powerfully
shift the dynamic and turn the tables on narcissists.
If that is something that you want to do,
I invite you to subscribe to this channel and
hit that notification bell.
So, narcissists, they like to try you,
they like to poke you, they like to…
They just want to get under your skin all the time,
they do it on purpose, why do they do it?
You know they do it on purpose, why do they do that?
Well, there is a short and simple answer to that.
I mean, it's why they do everything that they do.
So let's reel back.
What is narcissistic supply?
For those of you who just started with this whole thing,
you maybe haven't watched any of my other videos in the past,
let's talk about what that means.
So narcissists, they have no sense of self, okay?
They have no inner sense of value.
I haven't actually said this in a while in my videos,
so they're like that hollow chocolate easter bunny,
they look kind of nice on the outside,
but there's nothing going on on the inside and so,
to have any feeling of value, whatsoever,
they have to kind of layer it on, and how they layer it on
is something called narcissistic supply.
So, the way I look at it, is there's like different kinds of supply and
so supply can be, the nice things in life,
which there's nothing wrong with, by the way,
like money, prestige and big houses and great jobs,
being with the right people, and status and
all those things, which there's nothing wrong with
in and up themselves.
But, then there's this dark underbelly
of what I call narcissistic supply,
which there's definitely something wrong with,
which is trying to make yourself feel better
by pushing people down,
like controlling people, devaluing people, debasing people,
bolstering yourself by pushing other people down.
So, those are kind of the various ways
that they get narcissistic supply and
they delight in getting supply by triggering people,
it's a way of controlling you,
they enjoy seeing people squirm and
seeing people be intimidated and all that sort of thing.
That's that's kind of one reasons why they enjoy
triggering you and seeing you that way and
in a negotiation setting, there are a number of reasons why
triggering you can be beneficial to them.
I mean, it's not just seeing you squirm,
it's not just seeing you fly off,
I mean, there actually can be a few other reasons for it too and
it was actually well demonstrated in the Netflix miniseries called
“I care a lot” which actually,
I did a whole video on, where I broke it down,
you can definitely check out my breakdown of that miniseries and
the main character was a woman who was supposed to be
taking care of these elderly people, like as a guardian,
she was talking to this older woman,
there was nothing wrong with her,
but of course, this woman who was like the guardian would get paid
if there was something wrong with these people,
so, she goes to this nursing home and
she's talking to this woman and
she purposely triggers this woman, like,
she whispers things in her ear to like get her angry,
she purposely triggers her, she purposely says things to her,
so it's not just to get supply from her,
not just to see her squirm, not just to get delighted,
not just to laugh at how funny it is,
that she's like so out of control,
but there's another even more sinister reason that she did that,
because there were cameras watching,
so, she's like whispering things in this older woman's ear,
that's what happens, the older woman stands up,
I don't think she stood up,
I think she just reached over and started choking the guardian,
the woman, and there are cameras watching,
so then she was able to catch her, to trap her.
So, another sinister reason why narcissists intentionally trigger you
Then, they're actually able to make you look like
the bad one and use that against you,
especially, if you have some sort of litigation going on,
you have some sort of potential court action,
now they're able to use that and
that's what this woman did in this show, and
so you have to be aware of that,
when narcissists are intentionally trying to trigger you so hard,
sometimes because they really do know what your trigger points are,
especially if they've known you for a long time,
if it's been a romantic relationship, or it's a family relationship,
or if it's business partnership,
something where the person is known you
for a long time and they've had the opportunity to
get to know what your weak points are,
they know how to trigger you and
so they'll know what to do, what you say,
even in this situation, like in that show,
like, she didn't even know her that well,
but she knew what to say
to get that woman to like try to choke her and
then, she takes it right into the judge.
She shows the judge and judge was like,
clearly this woman is a danger,
she needs to stay in this place,
clearly there's something wrong with her, yep.
Another reason they try to trigger you,
is so that they can catch you and trap you,
make you look like you’re the crazy one,
make you look like the emotional one,
make you look like the one that
the judge should be looking out for, and
please, please, please, always remember that,
every text, every email, every writing,
everything you put your hand to, is a potential trial exhibit.
So, don't get triggered. Don't take the bait.
They want you to take that bait,
they're dying for you to take the bait,
so be careful of that.
So, number one is, to get supply from it,
Number two is, to go into doing something.
Yeah. I know, it's super sick and
if you agree, it's super sick,
They want to check if they still have that power over you.
Do I still have you in my little web?
Do I still have control over you?
Well, yes, I do.
That's number four, just a little check in.
Let me see if I still do.
So, sometimes they intentionally trigger you
for that reason as well.
So don't take the bait, do not take that bait.
If you are negotiating with narcissists, or with anyone
feel free to grab my free ebook,
it's my free “Crush my negotiation” prep worksheet,
it's at winmynegotiation.com.
Totally free, 15 pages, all yours for free.
You’re also invited to join my free private Facebook group
“Narcissist negotiators with Rebecca Zung”
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I'm Rebecca Zung.
I am so glad that you stopped by this channel,
I am so glad that you are here.
Remember today is always a great day to start negotiating your best life,
I will definitely see you in the next video.
Thanks so much.