-Hi. In this video, I'm going to share six.
Six?
Yes, six keys to attracting and dating younger men.
[music]
Hi there.
Mat Shaffer, your empowerment, connection and relationship coach here.
I am a former trial attorney who decided to use his powers for good
and has dedicated his life to serving women
in creating more fulfilling relationships and connections,
both with themselves and with men.
I've worked with thousands of women around the world
and helped them foster and create deeper empowerment
and better relationships in their lives.
I'm super excited for today's video topic, how to attract and date younger men.
This is something that comes up a lot with my clients and a lot with my students.
We're going to deep into it.
I'm going to share six ways that you can attract and date younger men
in a powerful and fulfilling way.
Before we do that, take a second, hit that little subscribe button
and don't forget to click the link in the caption or comments.
I've created an awesome training
that I know is going to really help you in your relationships.
Let's start off by talking about what do I mean by younger men.
Clearly, I mean men that are probably younger than you.
I'm probably talking about men in their 20s and 30s, probably.
When you're talking about men in their 20s and 30s,
there's a lot of specific nuanced things that you are going to want to do with them
that you wouldn't necessarily do with a man in his 40s or 50s,
or whatever your age might be.
We have a spectrum of women that do watch this channel.
We're going to go through six keys to attracting,
turning on, and dating men who are younger.
The first key is, be fearless and direct in your communication
and connection with these men.
Because here's the thing,
a lot of younger men have probably already disqualified themselves
from a woman who's a little older than them,
either because they assume that you're married
or they think that maybe you're just not their type.
There's a lot of ways that men talk themselves out of approaching women.
If you are a little older than him
and you want to create that and foster that connection with him,
you want to indicate to him that you are interested.
That means lots of eye contact and open body position,
if you're talking about nonverbal connection, and then also smiling, inviting him.
Be willing to start a conversation.
Be willing to initiate the flirtation.
It doesn't mean that you're putting yourself in a masculine position
if you are direct.
You want to let him know that you are interested,
and just because you're a little older than him,
it doesn't mean that you're not ready to play
and connect with him in a meaningful way.
The second key to attracting and dating younger men effectively
is to be present with them.
Younger men are going to be very experiential
and very caught up in the moment of whatever is going on in their lives.
It's important for you, as an older woman with maybe a little bit more experience,
to be really clear that you are going to be right there with them
in that present moment.
That means not projecting into the future
and making a bunch of assumptions about them,
because maybe they're not ready for a full-blown commitment yet,
or they're going to be looking at you and deciding
and evaluating what relationship they want with you.
If they feel like you're projecting into the future
and trying to push them towards a commitment
or put them on a timeline or a deadline,
they're going to pull back and maybe check out.
This is especially true with younger men.
Don't project into the future with them and read a lot into the future.
Also, don't bring in a lot of the past.
If a man, especially a younger guy
can tell that you're bringing a lot of your past relationship baggage up with him,
especially in the early stages of getting to know him,
it's going to scare him off.
Younger guys are very present, they're very experiential.
They really want to have fun and really get to know you in the present moment.
Be connected.
Be dialed in with whatever he's saying,
and be willing to just be in that moment with him
without reading too much into it
or looking at it through the lens of your past experiences as much as possible.
The third key to attract and date a younger man
is to be playful and spontaneous.
I cannot tell you how important this is.
All men at one level are little boys,
but younger men especially, they want to play, they want to have fun.
Connect with that little girl within you.
Let go of everything that you've experienced up until now
and be ready to just play with him and go back and forth with him.
Banter with him.
Tease him, let him tease you
and just be present in that moment and have fun in your exchanges with him.
If you can do that, you're going to draw him in
and you're going to invite him to want to experience more of you,
and date you, and have fun adventures with you.
Adventures are another huge way to build connection,
and intimacy, and relationship with a younger man.
Because younger guys, they see the world through the lens of possibility
and they want to experience it in as many different ways as possible.
The more spontaneous and the more open to adventures,
and random excursions and everything you can be,
the more a younger guy is going to want to hang out with you.
He's not going to be set in his ways.
A younger guy wants to explore.
You can through your openness, and playfulness, and invitingness
be his exploration partner.
Doesn't that sound fun?
If he's being silly, don't demean him, don't dismiss his silliness.
That might come across a little maternal
and something you want to avoid as an older woman is coming across as his mom.
If he's being silly, tolerate it.
Roll with it.
Go back and forth with him in his silliness
and just allow yourself to be in that playful space with him.
Another important key to building attraction and dating younger men
is to be a master of texting, or at least get used to texting.
Because younger guys,
guys in their 20s and 30s, they do a lot of texting.
They don't do as much phone conversation.
I'm not saying you can't invite them and draw them into phone conversations,
I invite you to do that,
but also be ready for a lot of texting with these younger guys.
You're going to want to get good at managing texting
as a tool to get to know a man.
Don't make it the primary form of communication.
Especially in early-stage dating, use texting as a tool to arrange meetups,
to flirt with him, but not as a tool of getting to know him.
Get ready to text a lot more with a younger guy,
but be very intentional about it
or it could become a primary way that you're talking to him
and that can be super exhausting.
You don't want to do that.
You want to use texting as a tool to set up in-person encounters,
and to do some flirting, and to maintain that burn of attraction.
Another key to going deeper with younger men is to really own your sensuality.
Your flirtation, your touch, your body,
really leveraging those assets that you have
and those senses are going to be super important
because touch is a primary love language for almost all men,
but especially for younger man who are deeply physical.
The more you can be in your sensual, inviting, soft femininity,
the more you're going to excite him.
You could teach him a lot as an older woman.
That's very exciting for a lot of younger men.
Be in full ownership of your sexuality, of your sensuality,
and all the things that come with that, and invite him into that space with you.
It's going to really excite him,
and it's going to really light the fire with him to go deep with you in that way.
This last tip is really important.
You want to give younger men a platform to practice their masculinity.
You do that by being deeply in your feminine.
I want you to think about this,
younger men are just starting to learn what it means to be a man.
A man who's in his 20s, a man who's in his 30s,
he's really craving an understanding of what it means to be deeply in his masculine.
He's stepping into that space.
The more feminine you can be, the more inviting you can be.
The more you can throw him the ball
and give him opportunities to step up and be a man,
and plan dates, and be the protector, and be the hero.
The more you do that, the more you're inviting him to rise.
For younger guys, guys who haven't really established their masculine identity yet,
that's a huge gift that you're giving them.
That's really gonna excite them and make them feel more powerful
and more empowered when they're with you,
which is going to make them want to hang out with you more.
It's going to make them want to get to know you better.
It's going to make them want to spend more time with you.
One of the most valuable roles you can play as the older woman
in the life of a younger man is to be his inspiration,
be his muse,
be his example of what it means to be in relationship with a goddess,
with a woman who's deeply in her feminine and knows who she is
and knows what she wants
and is looking to him and asking him in a powerful, sensual, feminine way,
"Can you rise to my level? Can you be the man that I need you to be?"
That's super hot and super evoking for a lot of men,
especially a man who's really seeking that answer.
"What kind of man am I?
How can I be this masculine figure that I saw my dad be,
and that I see these other men out there be?"
Men in that age, they're in their prince phase
and they're striving to become kings.
If they have a queen in their life, a queen can inspire them to go there.
Be his queen, be his muse, be his inspiration,
and he will be deeply, deeply, deeply connected, and deeply appreciative to you.
There you go, six ways to attract and date younger men.
The first one is to be direct and be open with them.
Let them know that you are interested.
Let them know that you do want to connect with them,
that you are not married and you are not too old for them.
Age is truly just a number and you want to get to know them.
Then, be present with them.
Don't project into the future
and assume that this relationship is going to turn into something more
and put them on a deadline.
Don't bring up the past.
Don't view them through the lens of your past trauma.
Just be in that present moment with them.
Be connected and see and experience them for who they are.
Then, be playful and spontaneous.
Be your little-girl self.
Be in the moment with them, playing and sassing them,
and teasing them, and inviting them forward.
Let them be sarcastic, let them be silly.
Banter and go back and forth with them.
Be spontaneous, be willing to go on adventures,
and be their adventure partner.
Younger guys are looking for that adventurous freedom
and you can be their partner and platform to make it happen.
Be prepared to text more with a younger guy,
but also recognize that you get to do it intentionally.
Don't allow texting to become a continuous way
that you're getting to know this younger guy.
Rein it in, set the tempo and use it as a tool.
Use it to flirt.
Use it to coordinate and set up meetups with him,
but don't make it something that you do all the time.
Younger guys will probably want to do that.
It'll be up to you to condition and set that tempo with him.
Own your sensuality with a younger guy.
Be your soft, flirtatious, feminine self.
Be very touchy with him.
Touch is a primary love language.
For younger men who are in that prime physical masculine space,
especially with their hormones and all that stuff,
the more sensual you are with him,
the more excited he's going to be and the more he's going to enjoy it.
Lastly, be that platform.
Be that inviting evoking force in his life that gets him to step into his masculine.
Be the queen that asks of him, "Are you ready to be a king?"
Because men in their 20s and 30s, younger men,
they're seeking that masculine identity
and they're seeking what it means to be a king.
They want to know what that is.
They want to know what that feels like.
The more you can throw them the ball
and invite them into that masculine space,
invite them to plan those dates, invite them to step into their power,
invite them to be the driving physical force in the relationship,
they're going to be attracted to you if you do that,
they're going to be excited by you,
and they're going to see you as that queen that really inspires them to be a king.
That's what they want.
That's what men in their 20s and 30s are really looking to do
if they are good, heart-centered men who are looking to advance
and evolve within their masculinity.
I hope this resonated with you.
If it did, take a second, hit that little subscribe button.
Don't forget to click the link in the comments or caption.
I've created a great training
that I know is going to really help you in your relationships.
Thanks so much for stopping by
and I'll see you next time on my YouTube channel.
Bye-bye.