(upbeat music)
(water trickling)
- Whitney Cummings, sorry to scare ya.
Just, I'll let ya finish.
- Thank you, Hi.
- Hi, I'm Rob King.
I'm your biggest fan.
- Oh. - Yeah.
- That's so nice, thank you. - Yeah.
I just, I have your,
- Whoa. - I was reading it.
- Uh huh. - Can I ask you a questions?
- Sure.
- Okay.
- Wow, those are marked up pages.
- Yeah, it was just in case.
Has there ever been a time where you felt you went
too far with a joke?
- Yes, a lot of times.
I did a show with Carmen Electra actually
I write about this in the book
and I wrote a bunch of jokes about that I thought were
very funny, uh I mean she did date Dennis Rodman
and Dave Navarro.
- Par for the course.
- So, um, and then I did a couple with Pam Anderson at
a roast that I think went too far.
So, yeah I do regret those.
I feel like they were a little mean.
I never want to hurt someone's feelings.
That's not my intention.
- You reveal so much in your book.
Do you ever worry about people judging you?
- You know what, I do.
I do and I feel like I've felt so much time as a comedian
pretending that that doesn't bother me, but um,
yes, it does.
Do you struggle with that?
- Yes.
No, I mean I'm fairly.
- You seem pretty self aware.
- Thank you, yeah.
I mean I have friends who maybe say to themselves
that things are fine when they know deep down
that they're not.
- So, what's your uh, dating situation?
- Uh.
- What are we on, tinder?
- You know, just (toy gun sounds).
- You shoot women?
- No, I regret that.
- Okay.
- Just kinda letting the chips fall where they may.
- Is that a backhanded masturbation?
- No no no, I'm forehand.
No, I'm--
- Where do you meet girls?
- Uh.
- Do you just like meet girls like at bars?
Or like on the dark web or?
- Yeah, I, I, I, I'm out.
- I'm out. - Okay
- Single. - Oh that's fun.
- and ready to - What's happening?
- Mingle, yeah.
I'm just gonna tell you right now just take it down
a notch with that.
- Once it's in your body though, it's kinda like
maybe we'll ride this pony.
- No, we won't.
It's making me dizzy and kinda of nauseous.
How would you say your intimacy game is?
- A plus
- Really?
- Yes.
- Okay.
Do you think you could gently stroke my face and I'll
let you know?
- (breaths heavily) Yeah.
- Go for it.
- Okay. - Okay.
Okay, okay, so here's the thing.
I need you to not look like your having an orgasm when
you do it.
Let's try it again.
Start up here, a little higher, maybe through the hair.
- Through the hair. - Yep, through the hair.
- Okay.
- Down.
This way.
Okay, don't do that.
Don't do that. - No, no I wasn't, yeah.
- That was better. - Okay
- That was better, right?
- Oh yeah. - Okay.
So have you ever kissed a girl?
- Sure.
- Have you? - Yup.
- Alright, let's see what you've got.
Okay nope. - Too fast.
- See, no remember that was too fast.
- I know.
- That felt more like an attack
- Don't wanna attack you. - than a kiss.
- No. - Like my brain is
like call the police.
You can't come at a woman that fast.
- Right.
- Just like slower - Yeah.
- and check in. - Yeah
- Check in with me. - Yeah.
- It's consensual, is the idea.
- That's - We both wanna do it.
You don't really do this with your conversation.
So, I'd make sure you can do it with your kissing
so you don't go to jail.
- It's one of the nicest things anyone has ever done
for me.
- Okay. - Okay, so.
- Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh.
Now you have to do something.
- Mmm
- Close your eyes!
- Make sure, no no no of course.
- I don't want to open my eyes and see your weird bug
eyes staring at me.
- So so sorry.
So are we dating now?
- No.
- Are we lovers now?
- No.
Okay, you can't do any of that
and put your hand on the back of my head.
(laughing)
(kissing)
Good.
- Yeah.
- That was awesome.
- I wanna throw up.
- Okay.
Okay, don't, okay.
- I'm really gonna throw up.
- Okay.
(soothing happy music)
Whose office is this?
(audience laughing)